With mobile competitors and their cell phone plans to help generate new subscribers. Like T-Mobile’s Jump Plan,  AT&T has decided to launch a new plan of their own–behold AT&T Next.

This new concoction, developed by the strategically constipated marketing group at AT&T, allows subscribers to pay a small monthly fee for the opportunity of upgrading your phone every year without a down payment.

Sounds like a good idea, like a nice piece of cake right? Instead of being teased by other kids for having the older version of a phone, you can immediately get that new technological advantage without having to pay full price or renewing your contract every…single…time.

Well the cake is a lie! The Next plan can cost anywhere from $15 to $50 a month depending on what phone you purchase.

Allow me to demonstrate for you. Let’s say that the new iPhone 6S  fee costs $20 a month, after 12 months of Next you will have paid AT&T $384 in Next monthly installments!

Oh, let’s not forget the  $240 in device subsidies, for a grand total of $620!  That is the exact cost of new Smartphone.  Now the icing on this poisonous cake is even though you just paid full price for your new phone, you don’t keep it, you must to trade it in to get a new phone.

Nice going AT&T! What better way to show your support for your consumers than to sell them this laughing stock of a cellular plan and charge them ridiculous amounts in fees.  Your true, greedy colors are showing and you my friend make the Grinch look like the Pope.

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