This week on Castle, we learned just what happens when Mars attacks…

Now let’s get to recapping:

The red moon rises over the barren desolate wasteland of the red planet. An astronaut ventures out into its abyss, searching for the power cells while talking trash talk to his team. They roll their eyes, they’re used to his gentle ribbing and cheap innuendos. But in the dead of night, in the deadly silence, he screams through the intercom and screams his final sigh.

Turns out it’s actually a Mars space simulator, but still.

Anyway, cut to Castle and Beckett, who are glad to have an excuse to leave their hectic home. With Alexis and her friends taking over the living room for lasertag, and Martha and her boyfriend, *ahem* “entertaining”, Castle and Beckett decide to just leave.

And then murder is afoot.

They arrive at the space station, and to say Castle is as giddy as a schoolboy is an understatement. His declaration that this is the “BEST CASE EVER!” resonates throughout the entire episode. And that sight gag of Nathan Fillion bouncing across the planet’s surface was one of the highlights of the hour.

Anyway, the team investigate the remaining crew members on board the ship. They declare that none of them left the vessel, and couldn’t have killed Tom, the astronaut who left a bloody corpse on the red sand surface.

So the team investigate; they discover that the space simulator’s firewall had been breached and trace the IP address to a guy names Clint, who was kicked off the project after failing the fitness test. It turns out he had beef with Tom, as Tom had spiked his drink and sabotaged him.

But he is adamant he didn’t kill Tom and has an alibi.

So the finger is then pointed to a man who was in Tom’s building during the time of the hack. He also happens to be one of the astronaut’s husbands, whom she left from “space”. She sent him a letter saying she had met somebody else, but never elaborated who, and she believes he could have thought it was Tom.

The plot thickens.

It turns out he did breach the firewall, but didn’t break into the system to steal secrets.

Yet, after finding a gas mask on inspecting the facility, and having a close encounter of the creepy kind, Castle and Beckett discover someone has been selling secrets from the space simulator to a competitor.

Espo, still on the space ship and wearing the hell out of the space suit, catches the culprit and brings him into the precinct for questioning.

He is one of the astronauts from the mission.

So, after this revelation—and his assurances he didn’t kill Tom—Castle, Beckett and the (totally cute) inventor of the space simulator, return to the toxic gas filled space hub to talk to Mira… which happens to be the on board control system. After all that, it was the Mars Rover who killed Tom.

I guess you could say this episode was more “when Mars rovers attack”.

And then things take a HAL 2000 vibe.

Mira had been reprogrammed to think Tom was a threat, and remotely triggered the rover to kill him. When they decide to reboot her to get the answers she is hiding, she locks them in the quarters and fills the hub with noxious gas.

Beckett, bring the level headed person she is, realises they aren’t on Mars and calls Espo to free them.

And Castle works out what happened while inhaling oxygen.

As it turns out, like the Orient Express, as the passengers did it.

Yes, thinking Tom was a threat to the mission, the three remaining astronauts worked together to fool the on board computer into thinking Tom was a threat and eliminating him.

It looks like they won’t be taking one small leap for man, one giant leap for mankind at any time soon.

And, in their personal life, it turns out Martha is moving out and Castle and Beckett aren’t used to silence.

Go figure.

So Castle-ites, what did you think of “Wrong Stuff”? Was it far out, or—like Interstellar—just a space dud?

Let us know in the comments!

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