Dump Star Wars. It looks like the We Need No Safe Spaces Party — who prefer the term “alt-right,” though there is nothing RIGHT about them — has found a newest cause to be angry.
Yes, the special triggered snowflakes who take pride in being white, racist assholes (who are content with railing against a creative, hit Broadway play and a box of delicious Corn Flakes) have taken up the mantle of criticizing Rogue One: A Star Wars Story, taking it to task for its Jewish scriptwriter (or, at least, they claim he’s Jewish — but either way, it doesn’t matter) Chris Weitz pushing what they call an “anti-white agenda” and crying about the fact that, in the past, he has taken Trump to task for being a Nazi sympathizer.
Dump Star Wars
Now this, of course, begs an obvious question: if this “alt-right” crowd was so convinced that their way of thinking is (or was) right, why would they care what a “Jewish scriptwriter” says about the President-elect? Who cares? Aren’t they on the “right” side of history, forwarding a noble agenda?
Given their reaction — their whining, over-dramatic boo-hooing — the answer, of course, is no. And not only is it a resounding “no,” but they know it’s “no.” They know they’re wrong for their way of thinking. They just don’t want to be called out on their bullshit.
But there’s a bigger issue at hand here, one that boggles the collective hivemind of the more ardent Star Wars fans: how did it take these people this long to figure out that Star Wars, on its face, was the biggest piece of anti-Nazi propaganda since The Thrifty Pig?
In the original trilogy:
– The Stormtroopers are, literally, in reference to the Nazi soldiers of the same name (known as the Sturmabteilung in the original German).
– Grand Moff Tarkin, and the other Imperial officers, are wearing uniforms that are exactly identical to the Wehrmacht.
– There were World War II references throughout the film (Hoth for SS General Hermann Hoth, Tattooine for Libyan war arena Tatauoine, the Kessel run in reference to the term kessel, which means “a group of encircled forces” in German).
– The spaceship battles were directly inspired by World War II German dogfights.
– The Throne Room scene at the end of A New Hope was a direct reference to Leni Riefenstahl’s Triumph of the Will Nazi propaganda film.
– Even the name of the ultimate bad guy — Darth Vader — was a German reference: Vader is a derivative of the German word vater (and it’s pronounced the same way), which means “father.” George Lucas himself has said that “Darth Vader” means “dark father.” (Alternate takes on the origin of his name suggest that Vader comes from the Dutch word vader, which also means “father,” but is pronounced “fah-dur.”)
Would anyone like to take a guess what the “Great Jedi Purge” in the prequels was inspired by, kids? How about the rise of Chancellor (come on, guys!) Palpatine to Emperor?
And remember: Emperor, Vader, and the Empire are the bad guys.
I mean, did Star Wars really have to spell it out for you morons?! It took you 40 years to figure it out?! THINK!
And in case the message wasn’t conveyed clearly enough: The Force Awakens tells the story of a black man, a British woman, and a Latino man coming together to defeat an all-white neo-Nazi-esque Empire.
The only way that The Force Awakens could have made it any more obvious that they were against Nazism was if they named Kylo Ren “Adolf McHitlerson” and he was killed by Poe Dameron as Finn and Rey each blew Poe Dameron a kiss before riding off into the rainbowed sunset to live happily ever after in a poly-amorous, poly-sexual relationship. Yes, folks, the brown kid, who may or may not be gay and who definitely had sex before marriage, killed your pure-white hero! Build a wall around THAT, you assholes!
Seriously “dump Star Wars” guys. We don’t want you. We NEVER wanted you. We’re not afraid of a multi-cultural galaxy with different species working together in peace and harmony, while striving for a higher collective consciousness.
As a matter of fact, our very fandom demands it and has for forty years. So, you want to dump Star Wars? Be our guest. Believe me, we ain’t gonna miss you. And Rogue One will not only succeed without you; it will do better than anything else in the theaters.
And if you think Star Wars hurt your feelings, just wait until you get a hold of Indiana Jones…