Isn’t it amazing how often I ask the magnificent Bradleigh-Ann Walker to cover Gotham for me, and she always obliges, and whenever she does, some crazy shit happens that didn’t happen when I was covering it? It’s like she’s paying the universe off or something… I mean, really? Fish ripping her eye out? God damn. God damn, god damn, god damn! Why do I always miss the cool shit?!

*clears throat* Ahem. Moving on… (thanks, Bradleigh-Ann!:))

Bruce is with Alfred at the hospital, watching over his guardian. Gordon brings Bruce a bagel and asks Alfred questions. Alfred denies knowing anything, and Bruce backs him up; Gordon leaves because Essen calls his phone and Alfred says he’ll be the one to sort out his old pal Scotty (not his name, clearly), not anyone else.

Fish wakes up with a band-aid on her eye and in a bed. The owner of the facility, the doctor, tended to her personally. Yes, this is the same Doctor from Doctor Who. Maybe. Possibly. Okay, not at all. I just wanted to cater to the Whovians because I fear their strength.

She says she’s gone to great lengths to meet him, and he agrees; wondering what to do with her, she suggests he makes her his right hand and he says he’ll think it over. He also apologizes that they couldn’t match her original eye colour, and when he leaves, Fish goes to the mirror and removes the patch, revealing an electric blue eye. Damn. I expected them to keep her with only a single eye for a bit, but it was undone within an episode? We’ll see. Might prove interesting, as it has aesthetically.

That creepy-faced corrupt cop who murdered somebody is out and free because he had friends in powerful places, and Essen tells Gordon that the commissioner is backing creep-face for head of the police union. Harvey Dent says he found that info out and shit’s going down.

Gordon goes to snap on the commissioner, who reveals the witness that testified to exonerate creep-face was in fact Harvey Bullock, Gordon’s own partner. Snizzap. Guess Bullock’s sleeping on the couch tonight.

Bullock reveals that it’s because creepmissioner has dirt on him; he killed someone at the pier, the same way Gordon was supposed to. He chose to live, and that meant killing someone else, and being blackmailed for it.

Edward Nygma approaches Ms. Kringle and warns her about creepface, her ex-boyfriend, being free, and she tells him she’s realized there’s better men in the world than creepface. She even touches his arm. You adorkable thing you.

Dent meets with Gordon at a diner and they discuss this. Plot unfolds. They meet up with creepmissioner’s older cop partner, who is also being held down and under his thumb with some blackmail. He subtly helps them out, pointing them in the direction of a Chinese book keeper.

Gordon and Dent are striking up a cop-buddy-type partnership, and Bullock’s getting jealous. Adorable.

Fish chats with Doctor Why, and they strike up a deal: she can help him, if he retrieves her guard from the basement and provides a steady supply of organs. She questions what happens if she fails, and then is shown the former office manager whom she defied, and is now sown onto the body of a woman. Creepy, dysphoric shit. Fish is visibly disturbed, but composes herself.

Selina slinks by the hospital and says Ivy steals food from the sickies and told her Bruce was here. She offers him a hug when he’s unable to say how he’s feeling. BatCat shippers probably rejoiced. He tells her he thinks Scotty McScottishseventhson was sent from the board of Wayne Enterprises to attack him. He wants to investigate, Selina tells him he’s insane, and when he’s dead-set on it, she offers to help, only to be rejected because he doesn’t want anyone else hurt for him. She tells him he knows where to find her.

They meet up with the Chinese bookie (Xi Lu? Shi Liu?) and he doesn’t cooperate, gets a call, and sics the Chinese workers on them while wielding knives like a crazed mob. I feel like they were portrayed as savages, on the white man’s pay roll? Did anyone else see that as problematic? Or is it just that I had my social justice glasses on?

When they’re boxed in, Bullock rear-ends a gate and screams for them to get in. It’s clear he was shadowing them. Aww. Jealous Bullock is adorable.

It’s clear they fucked up because they creepmissioner’s old cop friend set them up, and Bullock says that he just needs to be threatened in the proper way, and recommends Dent doesn’t see. While Gordon races the car, Bullock opens the door and holds creepmissioner’s buddy’s head close to the asphalt and interrogates him. He says Falcone is working with creepmissioner. To get to the stash of whatever this week’s plot coupon is, they need someone who will talk. They go to see Oswald.

He asks them if they realize what they’re asking him to do. If Falcone finds out, Oswald will be nixed by his own patron. They reveal it’s information they’re after, and Gordon will owe him a favour, and they come to agree that Oswald gets 5 minutes alone with any information (that isn’t relative to the cops) and a favour from Gordon, and he’ll help them locate this trove of secrets and blackmail in exchange.

Fish comes back, reestablishes order, returns the guard, sacrifices someone who was loyal to her because he was on the list, and reminds them she said not everyone would live.

Gordon and Bullock and Oswald track down the stash to a house on a hill where an old couple lives. When their cover is blown, a shoot-out with “Margie-pie” and her shotgun, the husband with his mini pistol and the three Gothamites commences. Penguin is about to be shot down by Margie and her shotgun, but Jim saves him; Bullock took down the old man.

They check the attic where they kept hearing noises, and an Ophelia -type is there dancing and singing to herself, disheveled and seemingly barely able to keep her wits about her. She reveals herself to be Miriam Lobe, the creepmissioner’s daughter.

Edward wants to ask Ms. Kringle out, but her new boyfriend who is a pleasant dude is there and he realizes she didn’t mean him.

They interrogate the obviously deranged Miriam, who reveals she killed her mother like she kills the starlight birds. It’s clear she killed her mother much like she did the birds. Gordon uses this to blackmail creepmissioner, who wants to step down but Gordon forces him to stay in order to have leverage on him, and get Bullock’s file. He also asks for something else.

The magnificent bastard has creepmissioner support him and backing him in his bid to run for head of the police union.

Gordon hands Bullock his file. Bullock warns Gordon of that favour.

Oswald tells the old people he let them go as a deal and would get them out before creepmissioner found out they failed by giving them a ticket to Arizona; however, he only acquired one and left who it would be in their hands. The husband refuses to split up with his wife, but she is self-serving so she kills him. Oswald reveals he lied, and that he just needed her help because he only  had one shell left and shoots her with the shotgun.

Fish proved her worth and thus received a promotion to upper management. Doctor Whatnow reveals that he’s not worried about her betraying him by a look at the scenery: they’re in the middle of a massive body of water, on an island covered in snow.

Oh, Fish: however will you get yourself out of this one?

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