Last week’s The Walking Dead gave us a house party, Daryl bonding with Aaron and Carol threatening a young child in an incredibly disturbing manor. Will this week’s episode, “Spend,” answer any of our questions?

Oh hello, Father Gabriel. I thought you may have silently perished since we literally haven’t seen you since the group walked through the doors of Alexandria. He is exploring what I assume is his house, because there is a note on the table that reads, “Father, we are so blessed to have you! Please enjoy, Rosemary,” propped up against a bowl of delicious looking strawberries.

Father Gabe now starts ripping pages out of a bible and I’m thinking maybe this is a church and not a house. Or at least some sort of makeshift chapel. Really though, this guy has given me the willies from the start, and his sudden bible annihilation has not helped his cause.

Noah and Reg are having a breakfast. Noah wants to learn how to build things so that he can help to reinforce their boundaries. Noah makes it pretty clear that he has no plans of leaving and Reg gets out a notebook and starts scribbling. He tells Noah that he writes everything of note down. Reg tells him to start writing it all down, as well. This is the beginning of a new life, and it deserves to be recorded.

They’re going on a run to get some sort of something that Eugene needs to get the grid back up. Eugene isn’t going because, well, he’s Eugene. But he gives them a prototype so they can get the right equipment. They make him go anyway. Maggie and Glenn have a little exchange that reeks of foreshadowing and I don’t like it one goddamn bit. Not a bit. Glenn looks, I don’t know, resolved or something. It’s weird and I have a bad feeling.

Rick finds Jessie in a garage or something where an owl massacre has taken place. Rick asks if she’s got any enemies or if she knows anyone that hate owls and she tells him that stuff like this never happens here. She seems to think that he’s taking it a bit far and doesn’t want him to pursue the attacker. He doesn’t listen.

Now we’re back to the group on the run and Congresswoman’s offspring and his douche bag friend are, once again, not going to heed Glenn’s instructions.

Noah and Glenn are canvassing the building and find an entire fenced-off parking lot filled with walkers. I gotta imagine this enormous building has a few stragglers, as well. It’s dark and shit’s about to go down. We’ve all watched this show long enough to know that by now.

I seriously have so much anxiety right now. They can hear walkers in the background and find a fuck-ton behind a fenced-in a room. They need to grab this shit and GTFO.

Eugene is charged with finding what they need. He points it out to Tara and they find the required equipment. Now there are storm trooper walkers marching on and yeah, it’s about to get real bad, real quick.

The storm trooper has a grenade on him, and Aiden, being the dumb fuck that he is, shoots the grenade and blows the storm-walker up. The walker just-so-happens to be right next to Glenn and he’s all discombobulated and now Aiden is dead, so, great job dude. I know, kind of insensitive, but he’s been a douche from the start.

Now there are a whole slew of walkers approaching so they’re trying to find Tara and Eugene so they can flee. Tara is knocked out on the floor from the explosion and everything is going wrong now. They expect Eugene to actually shoot a walker and instead he gets tackled by one. It looks like he was maybe bitten but I honestly can’t tell in the dark. (We later find out he’s still alive)

Carol finds the cookie kid in her closet. I guess he’s not scared of the lady that threatened to turn him into walker bait. He wants more cookies and Carol tells him she’ll teach him how to make them if he steals the chocolate himself, and if he gets caught or tells anyone then he won’t like what will happen.

They’re trying to figure out how to get Tara out and Eugene tells them to go clear their way and he will keep her safe.

Now we flash to Abe and some dudes gathering supplies to expand the wall. Abe sees some birds flying and I guess feels threatened or lightheaded or something. He’s having an episode of some sort. But then there are gunshots and he snaps out of it. But there is an enormous herd and they’re quickly going to be overrun. Francine falls out of her perch and Abe goes to save her and is quickly overtaken by walkers. Looks like he may escape, actually. Unstoppable Abe.

Now Jessie’s husband comes over to Rick and offers him a drink. Rick says no thank you, but he says something douchey about Deanna’s party. Then he says something douchey about Rick losing Lori. Whatever this dbag’s name doesn’t matter. He’s not gonna make it long. But he wants to be Rick’s friend. Creeeeeeepy.

I can already see Rick plotting out his death in his mind.

Eugene decides this is the right moment to prove he’s not a coward. He is going to carry Tara to safety. He actually does take out a few walkers and it looks like he may survive.

Turns out Aiden isn’t dead so the group goes to save him but he is impaled on something and they can’t get him down. Aiden’s friend tells him that he’s leaving him. They have to give him over to the dead because otherwise, they’ll all die. Poor Congresswoman. I do really feel bad for them. He may have been a douchebag, but he’s still their son.

So now the guy that wanted to leave Abraham and Francine behind is telling them that they have a system. Francine understands, right? Then Francine punches him in the face. And I mean, hard. She fucking decks him. Abraham barks orders and takes over what he should have been in charge of anyway.

Glenn, Noah and the douche bag friend get themselves in a ridiculous pickle. Like, laughably ridiculous. They are caught in a revolving door with the two open slots teeming with walkers. What are you going to do now, guys? It’s like watching all the idiot characters run down into the basement in a horror movie.

Deanna and Maggie have a tense moment and I’m thinking the Congresswoman is starting to resent Maggie and the group.

Sam and Carol are playing Susie Homemaker and making cookies. Carol does not want to indulge in this kid’s smalltalk and she maybe begrudgingly starts to like him.

Then we find out that Sam is the one that broke the owl statue and Carol asks why he’s there. He gives her a look that tells her that maybe he’s got good reason. He asks why she stole the guns and she tells him that, sometimes, people need to protect themselves. He asks if he can have a gun and she asks why, and he say it’s not for him. When she asks who it’s for, he runs away.

Now we’re back to Glenn, Noah and other dude still stuck in that door when Eugene pulls up in the van, clearing the walkers on the outside of the door. However, this still presents a problem because when they open the door either way, one chamber will be exposed. Dbag friend starts to open it so he can get out and Noah gets grabbed by the walkers. Glenn is forced to watch him get eaten alive and it’s one of the more disturbing deaths this show has ever had. And for fuck’s sake is that saying something.

Holy fuck. Holy fucking fuck. Shit. That was gross and intense and just a lot to handle.

Douchebag guy catches up with Eugene and tells him that they are leaving now. Eugene says he is not going anywhere until Dbag tells him where Noah and Glenn are. Dbag gets Eugene out of the van and tries to hop in, but Glenn runs up and knocks him out. Eugene asks where Noah is, and Glenn’s face alone is all the answer needed.

Carol is knocking on Sam’s door and Creepy Pete answers. She asks to see Sam to see if he’s okay, and Pete asks why he wouldn’t be? Then Carol asks if she can see Jessie and he shuts the door and says, “Not a good time.” Carol knows what’s up.

Father Gabe goes to Deanna and tells him that the devil shines through others as light, basically that he masks himself in what appears to be goodness. He tells her that Rick and his people are not good people, and that they’ve done unspeakable things. Deanna tells Gabe that she knows they must have done things to stay alive, and that Rick told her as much. He tells her that she’s wrong, that they’re dangerous and that the day will come that they’ll put their own lives above hers and everyone else’s. Deanna wants to know why he’s just now coming. And he tells her that Satan disguises himself as the Angel of Light, and that this group of people does not deserve paradise. Oh, and Maggie was creeping the whole time and heard absolutely everything. Deanna seems to be a bit skeptical of the good father. Like maybe is this a preemptive strike, or something?

Carol tells Rick that, “Pete’s hitting Jessie, maybe Sam too. Carol tells him that she knows how it’s going to go with Pete. Rick’s going to have to kill him. Annnnnnd, end scene.

Whoa. I mean whoa. This was very possibly the best episode of the season. Next week looks to be just as intense, if not more so.

Stick with me, Deadheads, for the last two episodes of the season (can you believe it?!)!

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