Every Halloween, it’s always a little entertaining and a LOT disheartening to see more and more “sexy” costumes hit the market to encourage women to show as much skin (and as little creativity) as humanly possible. This season certainly doesn’t disappoint with a plethora of “sexy” costumes ranging from the bizarre to the ridiculous to the “WTF.” We’ve combed the internet to find the cream of the crop for this year’s absolute worst selection.
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To start things off, “sexy” costumes hit a new low this year with this “Cecil The Lion” costume. Yeah, you read that correctly; this is a sexed-up costume based on that poor lion who was shot to death by the idiot dentist from Minnesota. On the upside, it’s proudly “Made In The USA.” *eye-roll*
Courtesy Yandy.com
2. Why not get political with it? Here’s one called “Donna T. Rumpshaker.” But if you’re going for authenticity this Halloween, make sure you spring for the orange body paint and a cologne that gives you the stench of silver-spooned entitlement with a hefty tone of racist asshole and ignorance.
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3. How about a little sexy cultural appropriation this Halloween? The Native American people may be a stoic culture, steeped in a rich history deserving of respect and dignity, but that doesn’t mean you can’t skank it up a little for Halloween, AMIRIGHT? The only thing that might be more offensive is “Sexy Blackface.”
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4. Want to really confuse the kiddos this year? How about a Sexy Bert or Sexy Ernie costume? Seriously, I’m not even sure where to go with this…
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5. Really?! Is nothing sacred? That is NOT Hogwarts regulation!
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6. How does this even happen? Do these people think “Infinity” is a strip club or something? Are we even watching the same movies? What are you doing to my youth???
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7. I’m losing this argument…and losing badly.
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8. Jessica Rabbit is already the most sexy cartoon character in the history of the animated arts. But apparently, she’s not sexy enough!
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9. “Hey, let’s destroy Star Wars!” Said the people who designed this monstrosity.
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10. “Oh, but wait…we can do better than just turning Yoda into a weird bedroom fetish. Why not Chewy, too?” Said another guy in that same meeting.
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11. He added, “But why stop there? I always got really aroused when Darth Vader was onscreen. In fact, I still think of him when I’m having sex with my wife.”
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12. Did anyone ever, in the history of the world, think Gizmo from Gremlins was sexy? Apparently, someone did:
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13. I don’t think this one is Marvel-approved.
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14. Or this one…poor Cap. Pretty sure this one should be just be called, “‘Murica!”
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15. Why do those disc things make me think of urinal cakes? Thor would not have urinal cakes stuck to her chest. Maybe try a re-design on this one.
Courtesy Ebay
16. Sexy Ted? I mean…yeah, there are people with stuffed animal fetishes out there. They are actually called “Plushies.” So…I…okay, sure. Whatever floats your boat.
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17. NO! NEVER! This will never be sexy! I don’t care how tight you make the costume, you can never make this happen! This is the stuff of actual nightmares!
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18. I’m…why? Just…why?
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19. Uhhh…this one manages to be layered with elements of confusing, disturbing and horrific.
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20. What the actual hell is this supposed to be? I think this one might work for Halloween because she looks like she’s coming kill you, slice you up with her hat and make a meal of your flesh.
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