Online dating app Bumble has issued an open letter in defense of Ashley, one of their female users. The letter is aimed at another user, Conner, who threw a right fit when Ashley asked him what he did for a living.
How rude! How bold! How utterly 21st century!
The dating app messages originally appeared on a blog hello lover... belonging to celebrity David Cruz. In his post on the matter, wonderfully titled "How to FIGHT BACK to Digital Dicks" Cruz notes how this Conner fellow "went from Prince Charming to Digital Dick in zero seconds."
"Pretty slow at work," Ashley wrote to Conner. "What do you do?"
Seems innocent enough, right? Not to Conner! In the messages to follow this single question, Conner accuses her of being an "entitled gold-digging whore." All because she made a comment about work. He then claimed she was "prying" into his work life and career, pegging her as a "neo-liberal, Beyonce, feminist cancer which plagues society."
After being alerted to the exchange via Cruz's blog, Bumble administrators blocked Conner from further use of the app and proceeded to write an open letter condemning his tantrum.
“Knowing that Ashley simply mentioned work in the conversation,” Bumble wrote, “we can gather that she wasn’t hoping to figure out if your wallet was sizeable[sic] enough for her to move into your house and start cooking dinner for you after vacuuming your living room while you clock in a 9 to 5 work day. Instead, Ashley was (wait for it, Connor, because this is where things really get interesting), viewing herself as an equal.”
Whitney Wolfe, Bumble's CEO and founder, told the Huffington Post how upsetting the whole ordeal is for the team. Part of the appeal of Bumble, she claims, is that it gives their female users the freedom to choose who they communicate with and hopefully "avoid the Conners of the online dating world."
“It upset all of us personally, and as a group,” Wolfe said. “We’re all so passionate about what we’re doing. Nothing is more important than changing the way people treat each other.”
Alex Williamson, Bumble's Director of Creative Marketing, is the mastermind behind the open letter. While Wolfe initially wanted to aim the letter directly at the offensive user, Williamson suggested an open format, making it a perfect post for the company's new blog.https://www.instagram.com/p/BGKNAcRvj7V/
Bumble's response to this incident is a breath of fresh air in the world of online dating. Users should still be aware of these situations and feel free to use the "Block" button whenever possible, but it is still nice to know that there are companies like Bumble who are against "harassment or abuse in the form of unwanted sexual comments, body-shaming insults, and general misogyny."
Check out Bumble's full letter below, courtesy of Huffington Post.
It has been brought to our attention that you lost your cool on one of our female users named Ashley. She made small talk, you felt personally attacked. She mentioned her work day and asked about yours; you assumed that she was prying into your financial status.
We are going to venture a guess into the state of mind of Ashley here, given that we are all working women ourselves. Take a seat, because this concept may blow your mind. Women nowadays work. It’s happened over time, we know, but a vast majority of women from our generation have jobs.
With that in mind — and knowing that Ashley simply mentioned work in the conversation — we can gather that she wasn’t hoping to figure out if your wallet was sizeable enough for her to move into your house and start cooking dinner for you after vacuuming your living room while you clock in a 9 to 5 work day. Instead, Ashley was (wait for it, Connor, because this is where things really get interesting), viewing herself as an equal. It might sound crazy, but people connect over the basic routines of life. You know… the weather, working out, grabbing a drink, eating, and working.
And while you may view this as “neo-liberal, Beyonce, feminist-cancer,” and rant about the personal wounds you are trying to heal from classic “entitled gold digging whores,” we are going to keep working. We are going to expand our reach and make sure that women everywhere receive the message that they are just as empowered in their personal lives as they are in the workplace. We are going to continue to build a world that makes small-minded, misogynist boys like you feel outdated.
We are going to hope that one day, you come around. We hope that the hate and resentment welling up inside of you will subside and you’ll be able to engage in everyday conversations with women without being cowardice to their power. But until that day comes, Connor, consider yourself blocked from Bumble.
The Bumble Hive