The last couple of episodes. Ever. It's getting a lot more real that this is the ending. So let's ignore that impending end by just talking about the second half of this EPIC third act of the final chapter.
The End. ❤️❤️❤️ pic.twitter.com/ytVx3DA1CG— Elise Bauman (@Elise3aum) October 14, 2016
Mattie explains to our heroes that the Dean was technically the life source for all these vampires, who were meant to be dead. If the power that brought that them back to life is gone, so goes every single vampire created by that power. Of course, Mattie never mentioned this before because the Death Goddess wants to make another deal with Laura where, if Laura wins, Carmilla will live even if the Dean dies. Carmilla, effectively, ends that conversation because she accepts that her death will finally mean being free of the Dean. Mattie doesn't seem too deterred by this development and soon disappears, leaving Laura upset with their latest situation.
Laura begins yelling because she's just so upset. She just wanted a big college adventure. Before she can keep going in her usual Laura Hollis fashion, in comes Danny with an exhausted Kirsch. Carmilla is ready to fight, but the new vampire is back on legitimately peaceful terms (if you listen to the podcasts, she had a very strong reaction to watching JP get killed, so this isn't completely out of nowhere). Danny wants them to take care of Kirsch because she doesn't want him to die at her hands. After being reborn, she only wanted revenge, but Kirsch was always there, believing that she was still good no matter how messed up she was acting. She knows she's not the hero she always hoped, but the least she could do is get away from the big fight and keep Kirsch safe. (She's also taking care of other business, whatever that may mean.)
Danny says her goodbyes to everyone, breaking our hearts when she says goodbye to Kirsch. Soon, she leaves but not before even making peace with Carmilla and departing on pretty decent terms. Kirsch just passes out on the chair Danny left him in, and the couple is just trying to take everything in. Laura points out that "we've all suffered enough." Since we've still got five episodes left, and the tagline for the show is that "love will have its sacrifices", I don't think we're in the clear yet.
Mel pops back in to tell them to hurry up with their plan because the Dean has been working the students nonstop for three days and has finally reached the 7th gate. They only have 'til the next morning before the Dean tries to unleash hell, and, since the students are barely surviving, there won't be any uprising to help them out -- they're on their own.
Laura brings everyone back up to speed about how their situation isn't looking any good since they're severely outmatched. The tiny hero gets fed up and storms up the stairs since LaF still hasn't talked to them. The tiny fury results in nothing more than an explosion, goo and a missing LaFontaine (who took bits of the talismans for whatever reason). Carmilla tries to convince her girlfriend that the vampire should go on her own, but Laura refuses to let her do anything on her own.
Neither wants to see the other die, but they do have a better chance together because they care so much about each other. Oh look, it's raining on my face because they so badly don't want to lose each other, but Laura doesn't want them to end up empty shells like in the alternate universe. She doesn't want everything they've been through and all the growth they've made individually and together to go to waste because they lost each other. The fact that they've had all their moments together makes everything worth it, so that means they'll take on whatever comes next together.
So, for their last night together, they don't argue or have another "technical difficulty" with the camera. Instead, they share a cute kiss and have an intimate moment by just waltzing together, just like they did back in Season 1. If you were ready to stop crying, that won't happen here, because after they just hold each other, Laura starts to film a goodbye video to her dad. She talks about how much she's grown. She mentions how she wanted to be safe, but avoiding disappointment and loss is inevitable. She might be scared, but she's willing to risk everything for the one she loves. Our tiny journalist has a (horrible) idea, and, soon, Mattie reappears because Laura is ready to make a deal with the Death Goddess.
After 32 long episodes, we're finally out of the library and heading to the pit. One can't really appreciate the new angles and change in venue when you hear that it's only Mel, Kirsch, Carmilla and Laura. (Surprising no one, Laura probably didn't tell Carmilla about the deal.) Kirsch is recording what's happening for whatever reason, and, before he and Mel could bicker too much, we see from where they're hiding that the Dean is already starting the ritual.
After a mild scare that she knows they're there, the Dean is soon joined by Mattie. Mattie is there to seemingly try to talk sense into her mother because her boss doesn't want the Underworld messed with. The Dean isn't even phased; she's pretty confident her plan will work, and she'll be reunited with her love when the world goes to hell. Soon, the Dean's immortality is given up, and she's mortal once more, bringing Laura and Carmilla out of hiding.
Although we might be shouting "JUST STAB HER ALREADY, LAURA!", the Dean doesn't get stabbed; instead, she gets an offer to live if she lets Perry go. The Dean laughs at their offer and apparently prepared for this situation. Carmilla gets a hold of the Dean, but Laura can't do it, and, soon, matters get worse when the Dean reveals the tiny hero's deal. In her deal with the Death Goddess, LaFontaine, Perry, Danny and Carmilla would live if Laura takes the three talismans and "followed her heart." Unfortunately for our heroes, this prophecy was all expected by the Dean, but, before things can get too bad, a flash bang goes off, and we're blinded by epic return of LaFontaine back to save the day with science.
Kirsch tries to add unnecessary sports commentary, but this reminds us that Laura and Carmilla aren't alone in the pit -- as well as the fact that Kirsch is the most adorable human in the world. Carmilla is worried because she's convinced the Bio Major just ruined their last chance to defeat the Dean. LaF isn't having any of this dramatic talk and painfully injects nanobots directly into Dean!Perry's body. Through the combined efforts of nanobots and parts of each of the talismans (including a stolen bit of Vordie's heart), they try to science the Dean out of Perry.
This failed attempt would have worked if Vordenberg's heart was still the fourth talisman. The Dean explains, after gouging out LaFontaine's eye, that, when the old man died, the talisman became the heart of the closest worthy human heart -- Laura. (I-ALL-KNEW-IT-BUT-I-DIDN'T-WANT-TO-BE-RIGHT-DANG-IT.) To make things hurt even worse -- or dramatic -- the ancient word for "liar" is interchangeable with "storyteller," meaning Laura was always meant to end up in this position. So, out goes Laura's heart, and my own heart broke because our hero is dying while the Dean opens the last gate to hell.
Carmilla openly crying over her girlfriend is a sight I never wanted to see. The Dean is happy with herself because she's ready to see the love that she gave up everything just to be reunited with -- but he doesn't show up. All the work and effort results in the Dean screaming in anger because everything she did was wasted. Mattie points out that maybe the problem was in the fact that the spell was done wrong. The fourth talisman was supposed to be given freely, so that meant the Dean opened the gates but would not see her love. The Dean is rightfully angry and is prepared to bring hell on Earth, with or without him.
Laura, of course, makes a slight joke while she's dying, but she's genuinely happy that, at least, when the world ends, she'll be with Carmilla. She hasn't died yet, and the tiny journalist uses the last bit of her strength when she realizes there's one last thing she can try. Although the Dean points out it's too late, Laura keeps doing what she does best, and she talks. She points out that the Dean has just been so broken for so long and that everything the former god's been through just had her hurt beyond belief and without hope. Laura can't stop hell from opening up, but she tries to at least fix what the gods did to the Dean.
LAURA EILEEN HOLLIS SAVES THE WORLD WITH A HUG. AFTER ALL THESE EPISODES, THE WORLD IS ACTUALLY SAVED BY A HUG.
Laura followed her heart and just believed that the Dean was more like them than they realized. The couple tries their best to keep things light, but Laura is actually dying. Carmilla just wanted Laura to be safe, but they both know that a safe Laura isn't the tiny journalist we know and love. The vampire doesn't want to lose the love of her life, and Laura doesn't want to die because she had things she wanted to do. Before we can hear all the things she wanted to do, we're met with silence from Laura Hollis.
Our hero is dead, and watching Carmilla's intense grief for her is just heartbreaking.
The vampire just wants the gods to kill her. She doesn't want to be alive like this. The Dean's voice makes a reappearance and points out that Laura wouldn't want her dead. The love of her life did the impossible and saved the world when it seemed beyond the point of saving. All Carmilla wants is Laura back, but, if the Dean did that, her sacrifice would be undone. Since nothing can be done, the vampire just wants to be left alone. To save Carmilla from an eternity of misery, the Dean leaves her with a gift: her mortality. Carmilla is human again, but this just seems cruel.
Perry soon wakes up as herself again, and LaFontaine is finally reunited with their best friend. Perry has no recollection of how she got there but is startled that LaF is missing an eye, which the scientist doesn't actually seem to mind all that much. In an odd move, the best friends don't really react to Laura and Carmilla's situation, but they do leave to probably get help. (In hindsight, I know that someone said that trauma is intense, and that, on top of shock, can make people act out of character, but this just felt wrong to watch after everything.)
Mattie returns to apologize to her little sister for her loss. Carmilla doesn't accept it because she knows that Mattie and her boss knew exactly what would happen. Mattie won't even stick around because she might have earned her peace, meaning Carmilla would truly be alone in her new life. The former vampire quickly realizes that, now that she's a human, she's got a life to gamble with the Death Goddess. To try to win Laura's life back (not completely negating the sacrifices, just offsetting them somehow), Carmilla will play any game. It's a win-win for the distraught girl: if she wins, Laura is alive; if she loses, she doesn't have to live without Laura anymore.
Carmilla seems to take a page out of Laura's book. She refuses to accept this as the end of Laura Hollis because her girlfriend deserved better. She's willing to do anything to try to get her back, even if it means killing a god.
In a surprising turn, Mattie gives Carmilla a pretty straightforward riddle about the dark that the younger sibling easily solves. Turns out the Death Goddess (or Mattie, no one really knows) had mercy on Carmilla. The siblings actually get to say goodbye to each other this time, and we hear the cough of Laura Hollis coming back to life. Like the champ that she is, Laura literally picks up mid-sentence from where she left off. Just like at the end of Season 1, Carmilla is just so happy to have Laura back in her arms that she kisses her to cut off her rant.
After the reunion kiss, we get our last bit of dialogue in the series. Laura is happy to be back but is confused as to why she isn't dead and the fact that her un-dead girlfriend is sporting a heartbeat. They smile and kiss, and everything fades to white because they get to live. (It's not a happily ever after, but knowing these two survived and can grow old together is everything.)
The credits play as we see Laura and Carmilla climb out of the pit and walk through Silas University. The last thing we see of them is the couple happily running along the path to wherever their lives take them between here and where the movie will pick up.
Of course there's something after the credits: it's just an extended look into the trailer. It's five years after the events of the third season, and we see Professor Laura Hollis grading some papers on some nice beach while her girlfriend returns from a motorcycle ride to get some expensive creampuffs. Before she can enjoy any delicious dessert, she finds a multiple choice card tucked inside.
The card points out in the options that there's a new mystery Laura will help solve because she's a good person, she loves mysteries, she's a hero and she would do anything to save her friends. After a shared look, the couple grabs their helmets and runs off towards wherever this mystery takes them.
And that marks the end of Carmilla, at least in webseries form. I don't even know how to process that, besides the fact the movie will come out at some point in 2017, I have no idea about what the future holds. I've pre-ordered the movie along with probably hundreds, if not thousands, of Creampuffs around the world. We don't know when; all we know is that the story hasn't ended just yet.
It's going to be weird to know that I won't be anxiously waiting on YouTube for the next batch of episodes to drop ever again. It's going to be weird to know that we can't really speculate on what happens because, with or without the movie, this series gave us something rare in the LGBTQ Community -- a happy ending for queer people. Other than JP, this webseries didn't permanently kill anyone. Laura and Carmilla will be happy together by the time the movie happens because five years will pass. They all lived.
It was the little webseries that could. It had an impact that helped so many people find themselves and even gave them a
community family they never knew they needed. It changed so many lives and brought together people in ways no one could have ever expected. As someone who had their life saved by this webseries, all I can say is thank you.
This webseries will always live on through the cast, crew and fans that care about it so much. It's been quite the challenge and honor to recap these episodes. Maybe I'll be back for a review of the movie in the future? Who knows? The future might be uncertain, but we will always have Carmilla.
Goodnight, Carmilla, and thank you for everything.