Media Courtesy of thatgrapejuice.net
This is what we all needed today:
A reminder of the hilarious tongue that the legend Joan Rivers truly had!
Back in 2012, Joan released her newest memoir titled I Hate Everyone.....Starting With Me
and she detailed what she would want to happen at her own funeral one day.
And the result?
Check out this excerpt:
"When I die (and yes, Melissa, that day will come; and yes, Melissa, everything's in your name), I want my funeral to be a huge showbiz affair with lights, cameras, action....I want Craft services, I want paparazzi and I want publicists making a scene!
"I want it to be Hollywood all the way."
"I don't want some rabbi rambling on; I want Meryl Streep crying, in 5 different accents."
"I don't want a eulogy; I want Bobby Vinton to pick up my head and sing "Mr. Lonely."
"I want to look gorgeous, better dead than I do alive."
"I want to be buried in a Valentino gown, and I want Harry Winston to make me a toe tag."
"And I want a wind machine, so that even in the casket my hair is blowing just like Beyonce's."
We'll never forget you, Joan.
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