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Abraham, Rosita, Eugene, Glenn, Maggie and Tara are on a bus. Rosita is somewhat sexually stroking Abe's hair, then he tells her that he'll let her shave him all over and I'm sufficiently creeped out. Tara and Eugene are talking and I honestly don't understand a word that he says. I do catch that he's bummed out about the preacher, but that's all.
Maggie and Glenn are holding onto optimism, and then ask Eugene some questions about what he's going to do once they're in DC, how long everything wil take. He gives a nebulous response and kind of turns into a smarmy douche talking down to everyone. Then Glenn asks, "Why the hair?" To which Eugene replies, "Because I like it." I mean, rock on brother.
Now they've wrecked the bus. But not like a fender bender; a full-on, flipping the entire thing over after blowing out a tire with a hungry herd approaching the noisy feast quickly.
We start with a flashback that shows Abraham beating a dude to death with some canned goods. We flash to the present and everyone in the bus is pretty banged up. They've all been thrown and now there is a zombie mob upon them. They're working out their escape plan and quickly dip to get things moving. Eugene may end up getting his hands bloody for the first time, and I have a feeling Abe is not going to appreciate Tara bringing him out into the melee.
He gets his hands on a walker, but Tara ends up doing the dirty work; thus keeping Eugene's hands nice and clean.
Abe treats Eugene like he's a porcelain doll to be coddled and sheltered always. Now the bus is on fire and Abraham militantly declares that they will find another vehicle, while Eugene suggests that they should go back to the church and Abe freaks out.He talks about war and not going back and everyone just kind of blindly follows him. Just like they all blindly trust Eugene, despite the fact that he evades their questions at every turn.
Anyway, they're walking. And I am already 100% certain that it's going to be another episode focusing on one group only, with them separated and hoping to find each other and I am so angry I could scream. I really don't understand why they insist on following this seasonal format. I understand it can't all be glitter and rainbows in the goddamn zombie apocalypse, but Jesus Christ. We watch this show BECAUSE of the characters, and, more specifically, what these characters mean to each other. And yet, Kirkman and the showrunnners insist on forcing them to ramble through the southern backwoods constantly looking for each other; despite the fact that we all love the episodes in which they're a united front the most. Okay, rant over.
Okay, looks like Abe had a family. We go to another flashback with him looking for his family and finding them looking less than healthy in a kitchen. But now it's current time and this convoy is in a dark basement looking for supplies, while Abe hums a creepy song in the background. They're setting up fires and looking around and he's just humming. Like, why? And why is humming in general a creepy thing?
Rosita is now stitching Abe's hand back up and their sexual tension weirds me out. I don't know why. Now they're all...oh wait, no I don't know what they're doing because the shot is pitch fucking black. I know it's Abe and Glenn and they're having another obnoxious heart-to-heart. Everyone is always just constantly monologuing in this show. We don't CARE about your sappy backstory, Abe. I mean, okay, the backstory is fine, but I am uninterested in his baggage and the clearing of his chest.
They could very well be talking about important things in this scene, but I honestly just do not care less. Now Rosita and Abraham are boning in the library and she stops Abe telling him that "he's watching again," only to see that Eugene is peeking his mulleted head over a bookshelf checking them out. Oh, and he's in the self-help section which is apparently hilarious.
Now Tara and Eugene are monologuing. Eugene confesses that he added lightbulb glass into the fuel line to sabotage the bus. When Tara asks why he did that, he says that he has some sort of complex about the fact that they only protect him because he can save the world. If he didn't have that knowledge, they wouldn't save him and share their resources. But Tara tells him they do that because they're all friends, and I'm kind of waiting for Eugene to be like, "Oh, now that you mention it; I CAN'T actually save the world, but thanks for telling me you'll still have my back!"
It's Maggie and Glenn's turn to monologue now. Maggie feels guilty that they've left the group behind, and Glenn tells her that they deserve a vacation. I decided as soon as he said that to stop listening; because now this shit is just getting ridiculous.
So they shoot away to a black window with a person or a walker or something walking past. But, like I said, the last 10 minutes were all completely in the dark, so it's kind of hard to tell.
We come back to a flashback with Abe and his family. They are clearly terrified of him, and he's covered in blood, so I don't blame them. Oh and back to current day. Rosita is tending to Abe's hand and she tells him that she thinks they should chill for the day. You can imagine how much he likes that idea.
He's being a dick and she decides to stick up for him anyway and now he's turned on. They decide to jack a fire truck, which, honestly, is brilliant. It's huge, it's steady, and it comes equipped with 500 gallons of water. It also turns on on the second try, which is always a bonus because that shit never happens in zombie apocalypse.
They make it a point to show the door that opens after they moved the truck, so I'm now waiting for a building's worth of dead people to come stalkin out. Whoop, there it is. A tire rolls and out they stumble.Eugene is up on the roof of the firetruck and starts squirting them all with the high pressure fire hose. They aren't dead obviously, but they're on the ground and the group is safe.
Oh wait, I guess they are dead? Like, I guess the hose quite literally blew their brains out? Anyway, they're all laying on the ground not moving, so I suppose dead it is.
Now Maggie and Eugene are monologuing. Seriously, this episode has consisted almost entirely of two people just waxing philosophical back and forth at each other. I'm over it, and I'm bored. Oh and now they're waxing theological and I'm officially done listening.
They catch a foul sent and go to investigate. Now they're looking at a farm (maybe?) and they're all really freaked out and start to flee but I honestly have no idea what they're looking at. Looks like Abe is going to go investigate a bit more closely. Abe wants to just go through it, and Glenn is saying no. So is it like an army base? I don't know, for real.
Abe is not budging, despite the fact that every single person is against him. Abe grabs Eugene and starts dragging him down the street. Everyone tries to stop him and Eugene finally spills his fucking beans. "I'M NOT A SCIENTIST." I don't want to say "I told you so," but...
Abe looks like he's going to hurl, and the rest of the group looks like they're going to kill him. Let's see what happens first.
Eugene starts to explain himself and says that he DOES still believe that DC holds the key to survival and that he is the smartest dude they know still. Eugene is letting it all out now, naming all of the people that have lost their lives protecting him. He tells everyone that he is the one that busted the bus, and confessed all of his sins. Abe finally loses it and sucker punches him, several times, before Eugene falls to the ground and Rosita steps in front of Abe making it very clear that she would use her gun to stop him if need be.
I think maybe Abe killed Eugene. He looked awfully still and didn't appear to be breathing. Now we hop to a flashback and I think Abe is looking at his dead family? Then we see that in this flashback, he actually meets Eugene. This is also the scene where Eugene's lies are first fueled. He hooks the military man with the "I have a very important mission" line, and the rest is history.
The preview shows that next week it's going to be a Daryl/Carol episode. Which is the best case scenario if they're going to insist on doing these infuriating sub-episodes every fecking week.
That's it for me this week, Deadheads! Stick with me as I continue to recap The Walking Dead
. And don't forget: only three episodes left in 2014! The winter hiatus is nearly upon us.
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