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Everybody Hates ‘Gary Blauman’ In This Week’s ‘How I Met Your Mother’

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DJ SoundBite

Staff Writer

@DJSoundBite

Have I mentioned how the show is trying desperately to connect past characters we have seen through the 9 seasons to make them relevant to the story? No? I could have sworn I did!

Look I am all for closure, but some of these characters I never cared about, and the way they tell us what happened is such lazy writing I am starting to feel 5th graders could come up with more convincing storylines.

So the recap for the THIRD LAST EPISODE called “Gary Blauman”…

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It’s Wednesday 8pm- 3 days after the wedding- the mother and Ted meet up for an awkward first date (in the cute way that all first dates are like). He is taking her to a weird restaurant but instead decides to try somewhere else. As they start talking he launches into the tale of Gary Blauman…

The running joke (which gets old REALLY fast) is every character reminisces on why they love or hate Gary. They beat this dead horse so much it becomes fertilizer by the end of the episode.

Anyway, Garry is congratulating Robin just before she is about to walk down the aisle, as soon as he leaves she freaks out to Marshal that Gary’s RSVP must have been lost and he needs to be seated. Marshal says it’s not a problem and the moment she leaves Marshal freaks out to Ted. They look over the seating chart to find a spot and Ted says how he hates Gary because he cock blocked him at a party. Ted thinks they should just kick him out but then Lily comes in and says she loves Gary. He helped stopped her getting a full tattoo when her and Marshal broke up. Since they are at an impasse they decide to take it to the groom.

The Mother interrupts the story by dragging Ted behind a car because she sees her ex-boyfriend. Because it is so recent, she says she likes Ted but is in a weird place, and not ready to date. He says he will walk her home and continues the story…

Barney hates Garry (and after an over the top build up), and explains it is because he took 4 fries from him at the bar and the forth was an accidently curly. All guys agree that this is terrible thing with Lily not getting it. Just then Billy Zabka comes in and says he likes Gary because he recognises him for his poetry (not his Karate Kid movie), then James comes in and says he once hated that he loved Gary Bluman. Gary was the one who he had the affair with (and James blames him for his divorce situation).

photo courtesy of CBS photo courtesy of CBS

…how is that horse flogging going?

They all start arguing and Marshal says he will make the decision (doing the judge thing). After a brief recess Marshal says that Gary can stay because when the bride asks for something she gets it.  Except Barney already told him to bugger off when he just saw him in the hallway.

…Ted and the Mother have walked to her apartment just when he was about to say what happened next. He says goodnight but just as he walks away she calls him back to finish the story….

Everyone runs to the parking lot to apologise to Gary, who says he won’t stay and that they won’t be seeing him again. Barney says he is sure that’s not true and Marshal says that they might lose touch like some of the people from his wedding.

And here is where I stop for a moment to point out how an exposition dump is coming up. Ted’s voiceover says he managed to keep track of a few people and through a panning camera with sets, we see what happened to everyone. To save time I will just put it in point form:

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  • Karl is still behind the bar at McClerans (with his son),
  • Jeannette was arrested and received mandatory psychological counselling- who turns out to be Kevin (Robins ex) and they live together now.
  • Ranjit made some good stock picks and owns his own limo service now.
  • Patrice has her own drive time radio show.
  • Billy Zabka won a poets award for literature.
  • Zoe pops up on the news supporting various causes.
  • Scooter works at a cafeteria and married the Lily doppelganger stripper.
  • Blitz went and got help for his gambling problem.
  • Ted remembers Carol was “Blab la”.
  • Sandy Rivers lost his news job in America for his inappropriate office behaviour; he is now in Moscow reporting the news.
  • James and Tom got back together (sits on the couch with his grown kids and asks them if he told them the story how he met their father).
  • And in the end, Bluman comes back to the wedding.

The episode ends with the Mother kissing Ted and he asks, “do you want to walk around some more?” They go off holding hands.

Now the million dollar question…did anyone care? At least from my end, no! No they did not. This episode was not needed. The running joke got old really fast and for an episode focusing on what happened to all the past characters, why in the world would you introduce a new one? I can’t remember ever having met Gary Blauman before, so I have no investment. It was nice to see some of these characters again (if only for a few seconds) but it was not needed and the story suffered for it.

If you are a die-hard HIMYM fan, you will want to see this episode, but for me it was another one you could miss, as it did not progress the story at all.

A rating of 2/5.

Please for the love of God tell me that they have an ace up their sleeves for the last 3 episodes!

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