Welcome back, Truebies! It’s time for our weekly dose of True Blood. Last week’s season premiere started off with a bang, and gave us many amazing moments full of heartbreak, shock and hilarity. Let’s see if this season continues its promising start with this episode. What’s going with Bilith? Will Eric keep his distance from Sookie? Let’s get to it!
True to form, the episode begins with Sookie sleeping peacefully. Unfortunately for Sookie, the piece of paper left behind proclaiming her to be property of Warlow starts to glow. Meanwhile on the bridge, a creature appears to breaking through some shield of sorts. The creature stumbles a bit but then it shows itself to be a man with fangs! Maybe it’s Warlow for real!
Jason is right where we left him, about to crash into a tree, when the creepy old man who said he was Warlow does some fairy juju and stops the car! Turns out the creepy old guy isn’t Warlow, but Sookie and Jason’s “fucking fairy grandfather” (oh Rutger, your face when you said this!). He proves himself to Jason by telling him that he had been watching him all his life and shares some interesting anecdotes about Jason’s life (juicy porn underneath the bed, broken middle finger: classic). Gramps doesn’t look to please with Jason and tells him that if he hopes to fight Warlow, he needs to straighten up
Tara, in the meantime, is apparently dying of her wounds when Eric and Nora show up. Eric tries to take the bullet out but it burns him. He does eventually get it out but notices that it is a silver bullet laced with UV lights. Looks like the blood bags have developed new weapons. Pam is terrified and starts to argue with Mary Poppins (Nora) when Eric lays into them both (Angry Eric = hot!). Eric orders Nora to find out what they can do about Bill and declares war on the humans at the same time (I guess he’s had enough).
Bill, where we left him last, is having a freak out session of sorts because of the spirit of Lilith. He can see past events, and they are causing him pain. Jessica doesn’t know how to help him keep control. It looks like our precious Bill may be lost forever….
Back at Merlotte’s the next day, Sookie is late to work (Arlene flips out on her via phone), and Patrick’s wife (remember Terry’s old war buddy?) shows up. Arlene and Terry end up lying to her about Patrick’s whereabouts (this can’t be good).
Sookie is on her way to work when she sees a guy who looks like he’s in pain. She tries to ignore him (which would be the smart thing to do). The guy turns out to be a half-ling like Sookie and was attacked by a vamp. She ends up taking him home to fix him up when he conks out on her (guess she won’t be making it in to work).
Sam, on the other hand, is visited by a new girl (played by Jurnee Smollett), who claims to know what he is and says she wants to help. Nicole Wright (that’s her name) wants Sam to come out as a shifter. She knows that the government will be targeting his kind next, but Sam doesn’t give a damn. She tells him to man up before leaving him with a business card (I love her already).
Jessica is still trying to help Bill and even orders him a meal in the shape of a blonde bimbo. Bill is in a trance of sorts with Lilith and just as his meal is about to leave, she begins to contort. Guess Bill is supernatural now as the poor bimbo’s bones get broken by Bill and all her blood gets sucked out without Bill even needing to bite her! Death by Poplocking, it’s totally a thing now!
Back at Chez Fairy, Sookie and her new friend bond over being fairies while she fixes him up. She seems to take a liking to him and tells him about the fairy haven. He seems intrigued by it and her. I smell a hookup!
Speaking of fairies, Andy seeks out his fairy baby mama as his fairy babies are growing too fast for his liking. Poor guy; he just want to be a good daddy to his babies. Jason and his Gramps, at the same time, arrive at Sookie’s house to check on her and to see where Warlow tried to get through. Gramps checks the portal and disappears. Jason tries to go after him but hilariously runs into the wall (I love my idiot). Gramps returns and tells Jason it’s worse than he thought (damn).
Sookie and her new friend apparently just missed them as they take a friendly walk towards the fairy club. The hottie asks her out but she rejects him as it is still too soon for her. He looks downcast as she walks away from him.
Nora is still working on the vamp bible when Pam walks into Fangtasia. Neither one of them know where Eric is, and they exchange words about how they feel about Eric and his secrets. Nora reassures Pam that Eric loves her with Pam retorting that he has a funny way of showing. Nora stumbles onto something in the bible and takes off. Wonder what she found out…
Eric’s plan, as it turns out, is to try to glamour the governor to repeal all his anti-vampire acts. He disguises himself as a nerdy conservatist and attempts to do his vampire jedi tricks on the guvnah. Too bad the guvnah has studied vamps for so long that he developed anti-vamp lenses, which means the glamouring doesn’t work and has Eric arrested (score another one for the humans).
Sookie returns home to finally meet her Fairy Gramps Niall, catching her completely off guard. Jason explains to Sookie what Niall has been up to (basically a fairy Boba Fett). Niall tells Sookie she’s a fairy princess and that Warlow has been after the family for centuries. He teaches Sookie how to harvest her power so she can go all supernova to kill Warlow, however, when she does, she will be fae no more (guess that will make her happy).
Eric, in the meantime, is about to be locked up when he one ups his captors by showing them a neat vampire trick that they hadn’t seen before: flight!
Sam has problems as well; Alcide and company show up to take Emma from him. He and Alcide exchange blows while Nicole and her group film the whole thing. Emma cries out for Sam as Alcide and Martha snatch her and take off.
Eric doesn’t look like he is done with the guvnah. He comes back later on and glamours the guvnah’s daughter into inviting him in (bow chicka wow wow). Wonder what he’s up to!
Jessica, poor Jessica; she’s left clean up Bill’s mess and wonders if he’s a god or something. She sadly says prayers for all her friends (including love Jason). Cue the sad montage of the citizens of Bon Temps and all their troubles (it’s so heartbreaking…).
Bill snaps out of his trance to catch the late night news. It turns out that his visions were ones of the future, which doesn’t bode well for vampire kind. Bill has another vision as the episode ends: one that show all our fave vamps burning to death!
Well, there you have it, fangbangers. Looks like our vamps are all in danger! Who will make it out alive this season? Guess we’ll have to keep watching to find out! Until next time, laissez bon temps rouler!
Eric channeling an uber nerdy Jim Carrey ( I died).
“I don’t know shit about baby fairies!” – Andy looking for his baby mama.
“Eric told me to fuck off so that’s what I’ m doing.”- Pam oh so seriously to Nora.
Lafayette and Emma’s girl time! LOVE IT!