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PopWrapped | Recaps

Pirates, Eunuchs, And Jokes Abound In This Week's Galavant

Shannon Beaty | PopWrapped Author

Shannon Beaty

Updated 03/20/2015 7:27pm
Pirates, Eunuchs, And Jokes Abound In This Week's Galavant | Galavant
Media Courtesy of tv.com
Shine up that armor, fans! Sunday thankfully rolled around quickly so that we could once again bask in the harmonious glow that is Galavant. The show starts off with a recap from the Jester, explaining Gal is on his journey to win back Madalena. And what’s the first thing I notice? The lyrics speak of Mag and say that “Sweet Madalena though… has lost her saintly glow… in fact she’s tilting pretty sharply bitchward.” Have you ever had one of those laughs that happens so loudly and so fast that it hurts? Cue that laugh. ‘Tilting bitchward’ is now my new favorite phrase. Gal, Sid and Princess LongName show up to a town… called “Sidneyland”. Apparently our little squire is the epicenter of this little town, thanks to his great exaggerations. Princess says she’ll absolutely play along with the gag, posing as Sid’s fiancee. Gal on the other hand straps on his sarcasm belt, only to find out that Sid has told everyone that Gal is HIS squire. A healthy dose of humility is in order, Galavant. King and Madalena are trying to figure out what to do in Valencia, as they are utterly bored. They ask a eunuch what they used to do for fun, and he explains that ‘we used to have balls’. Oh my goodness, here it comes. King has Gareth go kick the eunuch in his non-existent nether regions. The peasants line up to go all whack-a-mole on him as Madalena runs off with the Jester again to “work on some jokes.” Poor eunuch. Sid’s parents are overly doting and take great pleasure in torturing Gal. Princess informs them that they are indeed engaged, which encourages the entire town to break out in song. For some weird reason, this number reminded me of the market scene in Aladdin crossed with the market scene in Beauty and the Beast with a dash of Fiddler on the Roof. If you haven’t seen this and are relying solely on my review, click your way to ABC.com and watch it! King, Gareth and the Chef are trying to put their little ball together. There’s no food, as it was destroyed, except for the little bit the King saved for himself, so the buffet isn’t happening. There are also no musicians, as they were executed. However, the executioner himself is quite the musician… having the death march on his drum down to a science. Never thought I’d find death jokes that comical. Galavant is not taking his squiredom well and is forced to help put a party together for Sid. The other squires are there, complaining about how their knights are just “a fancy jackass in a metal can”. This is quite literally the title of the next song. Jackass In A Can. I don’t know what it took to get this on ABC, but I want to kiss whoever made this magic happen. As the song goes along, Gal totally gets into it, realizing that he is exactly what they’re singing about. Is a revelation about to pop into our hero’s noggin? The king puts on the ball, which is an utter failure. He burns the only remaining crops and the band of executioners encourages the poor people of Valencia to “dance until you die.” The pesants dance, looking ever so dreary and unhappy. The King finally notices something and asks for the opinion of the ball. He then asks to be roasted, which turns the party into a lively event… until the eunuch blurts out that Madalena is borking the Jester. The party for Sid and Princess however, goes wonderfully. Sid and Gal have a wonderful moment together, showing a bit more of Gal’s humane side. Sid confesses to his parents that he is not the man he paints himself to be. I need more of this! The start of the 4th episode has Gal, Sid and Princess back on the road. They tell us through another cheesy little song that they work together so well, even though they’re constantly in each other’s way. A group of men with some pretty shiny swords surround the 3 songbirds… oh no! King still has his royal panties in a twist over the fact Madalena doesn’t find him appealing. She likes the Jester because he’s funny, and the King knows he’s not. Gareth however reassures him that funny is easy! Gareth tells a knock knock joke that was pretty much a tirade of censored words for about 10 seconds, causing me to laugh so hard I had trouble breathing while wiping away a stream of tears. There’s something about the look that King gives Gareth with the combination of hearing so many words being censored out that makes it (in my humble opinion) the funniest thing I’ve seen on television in quite some time. KUDOS! If you can’t stand musicals, just watch Galavant for this scene alone. You’ll thank me for it. The King goes off and visits the Jester, psyching him out with a fake sword. The King’s dark humor fails, and he begs the Jester to teach him to be funny. Sid, Gal and Princess are being taken to the Pirate King… who is on land. The clan of pirates break out in a shanty, explaining how they’re so incredibly vicious, even though they’re not on the sea. Yarr. Their ship was washed up on this giant hill, so they’re kind-of, sort-of the lords of the river they’re next to. They’re a sad little clan of wannabes, but are redeemed through their love of gardening and sustainability. The pirates find the jewel of Valencia, hid among Princess’ lady things. Apparently medieval tampons don’t phase land pirates at all. The King and Jester go over how to dole out some comedy gold, and as expected, the King takes it to his usual dark, peasant-insulting, humorless place. The Jester survives the song, with the King being happy on his  new-found comedic talent. The pirates are pretty stupid, which unites the trio for about 15 seconds. The Pirate King takes Gal on a little journey, to his captain’s quarters (another little plot of land next to the river) and explains that they’ve met. Gal does recognize him as Peter Pillager the Pirate King. Peter explains that they’re in the state their in because people covet the booty. The booty gets in the way, as we all know. He gives Galavant a choice: you three die and he keeps the jewel (and the girl supplies) or Gal joins the pirates and he lets Sid and Princess go. Gal gets extremely defensive as Peter keeps calling Princess a mouth breather. Gal loves Princess! Gal and Princess sitting in a tree… The King puts on a comedy show for the people, under threat of death of course. Madalena asks him “What on God’s flat Earth is going on?” I love the writing! The little bits like this that melt so easily into the dialogue but stick out just far enough to put a smile on your face are what make Galavant so likable. The little details always count. The King tells a joke, to which Madalena knows the punch line and beats him to it. Since that fails, the King whips out a couple “You Might Be A Peasant” jokes, which I find absolutely hysterical. The skit was failing so Chef hands King a pie, which promptly lands on Gareth’s face. An angry Gareth is not a man to mess with. Gal and Peter come back to the pirate camp to see Sid and Princess in charge. Gal counter proposes Peter – we can take all of your stuff, or we can work together to get your ship back in the water and head off to Valencia. Teamwork! The Jester turns down Madalena, fearing for his life since the King is kind of a gentle psychopath, and she puts him in the dungeon for it. The King rushes up looking for Steve MacKenzie (the Jester, apparently) and the look of regret sweeps across Madalena’s face as the King bursts out another joke. With a deadpan voice, she asks him to “Please stop talking” and the bubbly King replies “No! I love talking with you!” The sheer ignorance of the King makes him so damn lovable. Peter and his pirates are down by the water, putting their plan into place. A lovely sea shanty comes along as the boat lands once again in the water. They all take off, together, singing happily into the sunset. Onward to Valencia! Princess calls Gal over, to confess. He however has something to confess – he stole some food for her. That’s so… noble? Princess goes on though, explaining that she’s leading him into a trap. Gal of course didn’t hear a damn word she said. The very end has Gal on the front of the boat, standing ever so majestically and staring longingly into the distance. He mutters, “I’m coming, my love.” Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go unlock my door. Gal will be arriving any moment. What did you guys think of the two episodes this week? I was once again highly pleased and look forward to seeing how they carry on with this insane medieval musical. See you next week!

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