Media Courtesy of NY Daily News
It is that time of year where the power house of Lena Dunham dons her Hannah suit and takes us into the world of Girls.
Going into the fourth season of this show must be an incredible experience for Dunham, I know as a viewer I’m constantly amazed by what I see before me. Every moment seems crazy, outlandish, and completely grounded in reality. The girls all seem completely fantastical and in the same breath so real I feel like I know all of them. Without further ado, here are the first three episodes of Girls:
Episode 1: “Iowa”
Hannah got accepted to a writing program in Iowa so, why wouldn’t it be proper for a send off dinner with her parents? It wouldn’t be a Hannah moment if she didn’t somehow remind the people around her that she was right. Adam arrives late and as always speaks right to the heart of everything without any fluff. Lots of random steps, Hannah. I’m glad that we are all just as curious how the long distance relationship is going to work out as Hannah is. Talking to Adam didn’t really help, which can only mean he is just as oblivious as the rest of us.
Marni and Desi are getting it on. I have actually never seen anyone eat anyone’s ass like that. I have never experienced it, either. Was he maybe eating her vagina? I don’t think they are that far back, but she does seem kind of pitched forward. Anyways, we get a quick recap of exactly where the relationship stands as Desi says he loves doing that and Marni says, “I love you, too.” I liked you better as Peter Pan.
As Shoshanna gets her diploma from college I am very pleased to find out that she didn’t randomly fall from the crazy tree, but got it directly from her parents. Her fighting divorced parents who know how to ruin any moment. Shoshanna does what any child of divorce does and downplays whatever is going on so the two of them can just stop. Is it just me or has Shoshanna grown on you? She is quickly becoming one of my favorites in this series. She is by far the most awkward person on television, but she’s so cute with her big heart space.
Do you remember that time when Jessa helped an old lady commit suicide but then the lady changed her mind? Natasha Lyonne (Orange is the New Black, But I’m a cheerleasder)
gives an impressive monologue as the lady’s daughter that has me rethinking any time anyone has called me special. It is just unconscionable. She basically steals the entire episode in 40 seconds. I always feel better when we get to see Jessa getting out of the weird situations she gets herself into. She generally makes me laugh, I just…sometimes. She exhausts me.
Ok, so here it is. Brunch. Marni graciously accepts Clementine’s (read: Desi’s girlfriend who laid the smack down on the season 3 finale) apology for Clementine being jealous. Marni apologizes for coming off like she might have wanted to have sex with Desi. It must be the rim job that gave her balls. Those are some big balls coming off gracious like that. That’ll get you punched if she ever finds out. Marni is so strange. I used to wonder why she was friends with the other three when she seemed so put together. No, she’s very strange.
I love when Jessa calls Hannah out on her shit. I am disturbed that Hannah does the same thing I do in the mirror. We just need to calm ourselves down. It isn’t voodoo, Jessa! Jeez. Why is that nerd fromBuffy
in this show again? I vaguely recall him from last season, but he needs to lay off my gay, Elijah. You know the one that had sex with Marni. Marni’s mom has brass knuckles on her phone. I never want to read her facebook.
I love Shoshanna. I can’t believe coffee shop guy slept with Marni, either. I would leave brunch as well rather then sit there with the guy who took your virginity watching the girl who is supposed to be your friend. Ha! Shoshanna likes Marni just as much as I do. That nerd from Buffy
and small children make Marni cry because they know she is terrible. No one is paying attention to her. Cry, Marni! Let it all out. No one should pay attention to you. I’m still bitter from her first boyfriend. I loved him. He was super cute. He built things.
There have been some strange sex experiences in this show. Like life. Marni, however, really has the strangest hook ups. AH! The little nerd used to date Elijah. I must’ve forgotten that because it was terrible. Tiny gays outside of New York do quite well. Thank you.
I don’t really know why Hannah is surprised she isn’t going to know how their relationship will work. She has never understood how Adam and her’s relationship works. No one knows how Adam and Hannah’s relationship has ever worked. She can’t expect to find out now. Conversation #2 and no one knows how this’ll work.
Marni why are you coming and showing up? Starbucks at god awful o’clock in the morning doesn’t make you a good friend. They’re driving to Iowa? Oh wow.
Episode 2: “Triggering”
Who knew real estate was so inexpensive in Iowa? Hannah just got a huge house and now rides her bike places where it is super scenic. I do love the silly stuff in the show. Just falling over on a bike. Oh Hannah.
Hannah makes a new friend, who looks super cool. She looks super cool. Have I mentioned how cool I think she is? You don’t lock up bikes in Iowa? What is Iowa, the Denmark of the United States?
Why is Hannah Skyping with Marni? Why is Hannah eating grapes? Why is Marni being such a bitch about Adam? It is like they aren’t even dating. This is all while Marni is knitting a scarf for a guy she is having an affair with. Way to keep it creepy Marni. Obviously the obsessive one is not the one eating grapes.
There is always a stand out scene in every episode. Hannah interacting with a store clerk who is having none of her and she is having none of him is my favorite from this episode. Just call AMEX.
We then have a 3-minute montage, guest starring a bat, about Hannah being lonely and out of place. I have trouble sleeping in the bathroom, too.
Here it comes, the scene I have been waiting for since I saw the trailer for the series. Hannah in writing class! They start off complimenting another writer, which Hannah will have no part of. Which means they get to critique her work. Hannah starts off saying they can emotionally deal in their own way. That self-assurance that gives me joy and makes me cringe. Then, they just tear her apart. Her new best friend is not her new best friend. She hates Hannah’s writing. They just read her for filth and it is the most delightful thing to watch. I really like Hannah, too. Go out to drink with all your new writer people. Don’t mope, Hannah. I enjoy that she tries to just call the nice blonde lady a victim of abuse. I figured it out! That’s why she doesn’t like my work. Am I the only one who is going to point out that the excerpt she read made me cringe? That’s the reason I don’t like to call myself a writer because I don’t want people to think that’s what I do.
Shoshanna doesn’t know how to answer a collect call. Luckily, Hannah’s parents can vaguely recall. That way she can chatter on about, why did she make the phone call in the first place? Hannah hates Iowa.
She might leave until she comes home and finds Elijah half naked and coming out of the shower. After a delightful conversation involving his pubic hair it is time to hit a party! Hannah/Lena Dunham dancing is probably the greatest thing I’ve ever seen. Followed immediately by Elijah giving someone a hand job in the bathroom. It’s not gay, bro. Drunk Hannah giving advice about mutual long distance cheating seems like a set up for things to come, whether she knows it or not, but more immediately we need some paint wrestling.
They go home in the morning as unstressed out as I feel now that they got their hi-jinx on.
Episode 3: “Female Author”
I’m glad to see that Jessa and Hannah are still talking. AA might be good for Jessa. Her butt does look really good.
Why is Marni still talking to coffee shop dude? Desi isn’t leaving his girlfriend for you. No matter what reason you come up with. Oh that’s why she’s still talking to coffee shop guy, because he says nicer things to her than he ever said to Shoshanna and then they sleep together. What assholes.
Shoshanna interviewing for a job at Anne Taylor Loft and then turning it down the only way Shoshanna ever could. Best scene in the episode. Sorry, she’s just waiting for her dream job. Keep the resume, though, you can look at it later and cry because you’re not friends with Shoshanna.
Marni and Desi are getting a record deal? Listen, you are with someone who isn’t going to tell everyone he is breaking your headboard on the regular. He needs to let you smoke. I hate when people who I’m not having sex with tell me when I can and can’t smoke. I’m sure that’s doubled by the fact that he’s crunching up her goodies. Desi just seems terrible. Don’t control her! Stop it with your face! Marni you put yourself in this situation. You guys are in front of record executives, too. How embarrassing.
Jessa and Adam are volunteering together? This can only end badly and hopefully it is not with Jessa and him naked. I want to say that it is outside of the bounds of what Jessa would do, but is anything really?
Desi explains that Marni is never going to get him to leave his girlfriend for her. She is unsatisfied. Shocking. If she ever wanted a guy she could have it’d be the end of her entire storyline. She’d just get married and have babies. She is exploring Desi. She is exploring.
Jessa has been sober for four months. It is important to celebrate your sober birthday. Damnit Jessa, why would you pee in the street like that? Of course the cops are going to show up. Of course she’s going to make a big deal out of it. Of course Adam is going to defend her honor. Then, they go to jail. Exhausting Jessa. Exhausting.
I love how Elijah just manages to ingratiate himself wherever he is. Like getting a random at an Iowa party to show him her boobs. The problem is not the people, Hannah, it is you. She goes to hang out with her writing pals and comes off like a raging insecure monster. A huge monster. Reading all the people for filth does not make you friend unless they are laughing. The skinny blonde on drugs. I like her. The one formerly accused of being a victim of abuse.
Jessa and Adam get out of jail thanks to coffee shop dude. Who explains to them exactly why they are crazy. Adam, Jessa is a mess. You knew this. Jessa, thank you for having a real moment admitting that you actually need a friend.
The episode ends with Hannah getting a ride home in a horse and buggie with a Mennanite. Not Amish. There’s a difference.
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