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PopWrapped | Books

Harry Potter And The Chamber Of Scriptures? Boy Wizard Swaps His Wand For A Bible In New Christian Re-Write

Margie Patton | PopWrapped Author

Margie Patton

Updated 09/25/2014 10:42am
Harry Potter And The Chamber Of Scriptures? Boy Wizard Swaps His Wand For A Bible In New Christian Re-Write | harry potter
Media Courtesy of geektyrant.com
A fundamentalist Christian re-working of Harry Potter would probably be the last thing most people would ever want or need, but that didn't stop an amateur writer known as Grace Ann from unleashing exactly that upon the world via the fanfiction.com website. "Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles" is Grace Ann's attempt to make the mega-popular book series suitable for her God-fearing family. Grace Ann fully explains the concept in her author's note.
Hello, friends! My name is Grace Ann. I'm new to this whole fanfiction thing; but recently, I've encountered a problem that I believe this is the solution to. My little ones have been asking to read the Harry Potter books; and of course I'm happy for them to be reading; but I don't want them turning into witches! So I thought…why not make some slight changes so these books are family friendly? And then I thought, why not share this with all the other mommies who are facing the same problem? So-Ta da! Here it is! I am SO excited to share this with all of you! So, without further ado-
The first chapter alone of Grace Ann's "creation" is utterly insane; Hagrid  transformed into a traveling Bible-thumper who shows up Jehovah's Witness style on the doorstep of Harry and his wicked aunt and uncle to show Harry the ways of Jesus. Of course, Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon are wicked because they are Evolution-believing atheists, and Petunia tells Hagrid that Harry doesn't need religion because he "has science and socialism and birthdays." While many Harry Potter fans are livid over the ridiculous revision of their beloved novels, others are suspecting that "Grace Ann" the religious zealot may be a clever disguise for one of those not-so-fantastic beasts known as an internet troll. Lots of clues point to the story being the type of played-as-straight satire popularized by websites such as The Onion and Christwire. Just one example is the story's description of Hagrid as "a huge, muscular man with a big, manly beard; and he was dressed in a plaid, red shirt, blue jeans, and sturdy, leather boots. His chest was covered in a thick, unruly carpet of coarse, brown hair." It's difficult to believe any true uptight Evangelical mom would describe one of her story's heroes as looking like a gay daddy bear lumberjack. Regardless of the author's true intentions, "Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles" is thoroughly entertaining in its absurdity and absolutely freaking hilarious. Avoid God's wrath and read the first eight chapters now at fanfiction.com!

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