Hi my Gleeks.
We put up with a lot of shit don’t we?
I mean if there is a trend in pop culture, then it will inevitably end up on the show.
No matter if it’s stupid or not. We’ve had “Friday” and “Gangnam Style” performed on the show. Then there was the whole Harlem Shake craze. The whole mini-tribute to Justin Bieber when that hysteria hit a fevered pitch.
These are all things I can just name off the top of my head. I’m fairly certain there is more.
So when twerking became a thing (and how did it become a thing?) I knew this was going to happen. I really knew this was going to happen after this incident of the VMAs.
Photo courtesy of OK! Magazine
Sure I prayed that Glee
would let this go quietly into the ether but alas, as with the majority of my prayers regarding plot and character development for this show, it went into the ether.
I also know that years from now the future generation will look back and at us and wonder as we do today “what the hell were you on?”
To which we will show them this picture of Miley Cyrus.
Photo courtesy of E! Online
Then we tell them that it was a very strange time.
It will happen. Make no doubt about this. And we will all be horrifically embarrassed.
This is going to hurt in my thinking place.
Alright let’s do this.
Rebel Yell (Just Don’t Be The Wind Beneath My Wings):
Rachel tells her hairstylist that she wants to do something new, shed away something bad. So when she shows up to rehearsal in a bob, Carlisle Cullen freaks out. Why? He is crafting a certain vision here dammit. She needs permission before she does something so radical. Rachel tells him that she is a) not a prop and b) to give it a chance. So they let her do the number. Carlisle Cullen ends up loving the obvious wig. (It is so obviously a wig.) Rachel comes back and gives Kurt a heart attack. She reveals that it was a wig. Rachel tells Kurt that she wants to feel those big emotions she felt in high school all over again. Kurt asks her if this is part of her grieving process. Rachel says that she doesn’t know but right now she wants to embrace life and be rebellious. So the two of them go to a tattoo parlor. They sneak drinks of lemon liquor. We see Kurt’s tattoo (and after five seasons, him shirtless) which the tattoo guy messes up. It was supposed to be “It Gets Better” but it reads “It’s Get Better.” Kurt does not have money to shell out to get it removed. Then he gets pissed when Rachel says she didn’t go through with it. Kurt goes back to the tattoo parlor and starts tearing the tattoo artist a new one. The tattoo artist, however, reveals the mistake was Kurt’s because the paper he gave him had a spelling error. He also shows him one of his mistake tattoos that he got in Hong Kong and offers to fix it. So now it says: “It’s Bette Midler” or something. It makes no sense either way. Kurt also, for reasons that escape common sense, gets a tongue piercing. He says that the rebellion helped wake him up as well. That he was living his life after Finn died but not really living it. So doing something so out of the ordinary for him helped bring him back to his senses. When he goes to show Blaine, Rachel gets out of bed. She goes to the mirror and pulls up her shirt. She did get a tattoo of Finn’s name because she loved him so much she wanted his name on her body forever.
We Can’t Stop (But I Will Wreck You):
Bree continues to be the worst she-devil the show has ever created. She continues her quest to break up Jarley and thus messes with the glee club. What she does is show Marley a Vine of her trying to twerk and starts to make fun of her. Then she starts asking Marley intimate details about her and Jake’s relationship. Mainly she asks about a mole on his right hip. Then she fake laughs it off and says that Marley couldn’t give Jake what he needed. So he came to her to get what he needed and she gave it to him. Then she acts all offended when Marley snaps at her by saying that Marley “slut-shamed” her and that she could get her expelled but she won’t. Marley, upset, goes to Jake and demands to see his hip. She confronts him outright about it. Jake reluctantly admits it. Marley pushes him away and runs away crying.
The Booty Don’t Lie (Twerkin’ Around):
Tina continues to be a huge creeper for Blaine. She tapes him in the choir room while he’s stacking chairs, listening to music, and practicing his twerking. Blaine is, of course, horrifically embarrassed and pouts as everyone laughs at the video. The video, however, inspires Mister Schue. He wants to shake the New Directions American Sweetheart image at Nationals with a little twerking. So it’s a literal booty camp this week. Except Sue thinks that the dance is too sexualized for high school. So she sets to work banning it. Will, however, decides to stage a protest by using “Blurred Lines” and not getting the meaning of the song. Also having a thirty something teacher surrounded by twerking minors? Not the best career move. Sue tries to fire him but Will is like “Yeah no.” He tells Sue that it is ultimately about freedom of expression. He then speaks at a school board hearing to defend the student’s right to twerk. He does it by doing a history of “forbidden” dances such as the waltz, the Charleston, Elvis hip thursts, every dance in the 1960s, and the lambada. He says that in twenty years twerking is just going to be a nostalgic fad that people will just laugh off. And he wins. Sue’s ban against twerking is overturned. That is until she offers him a deal too good to refuse. (He does give Sue a taste of her medicine by throwing a Sylvester tantrum of his own.)
Walk A Mile In My Heels:
Unique uses the girls bathroom at school because she is too uncomfortable to use the boys. Unfortunately, things get out of hand when everyone starts swapping bathroom. So she is stuck using the boys. Before glee rehearsal one day, several asshole jocks accost her. They push her around, say derogatory things, and throw her wig down the toilet. Unique is clearly shaken by it. The New Directions guys offer to beat up the guys who did it to her. Unique, however, says no that it will make it worse. She goes to Sue and asks for permission to use a more private bathroom. Sue gives it to her by installing a Port-o-John in the choir room painted purple with question marks all over it. Tina gets more use out of it then Unqiue. Will escorts her to the bathroom one day. Walking back, the two of them have a rather touching heart to heart, and Will acts like a real teacher. He tells her that being herself will never be easy but she needs to be herself. She has to surround herself with people who love and accept her. The people who hate her will always be there. She just needs to be a vehicle for change and lead by example even when it’s hard. He takes her to the single stall co-ed faculty bathroom. He tells her that if she needs to go then she can find him and he will let her in. Sue sees it. She makes Will a deal. He stops the twerking, and she’ll give Unique her own key. Will takes her offer because there are more important things. Everyone cheers up Unique, who is blaming herself for the twerking ban. They rally around her because there are some things more important than twerking.
Random Thoughts/Favorite Moments
Well at least it had a viewer discretion warning.
No. Will. Stop! STOP! AGH!
I can’t believe this is something I am voluntarily watching.
Oh look Sue is clearly having it out for glee club again.
Rachel yeah I’m with the director here. You still need to run it by him first.
Also that is a wig. It’s a really bad wig.
It’s 2013. Why are people saying 2008?
As always. Bree go away. Far away. OhmyGod Jake really? Her?
Hey don’t look at me. I’m not judging. People should grieve in whatever way they feel is necessary as long as it doesn’t result in self-harm or harm to others.
She still has Sue’s Corner? Oh. She’s mocking twerking. Now I start applauding.
Will what the hell? ARTIE YES! PREACH! YOU ARE RIGHT! DO NOT DO IT! NO! NO! LISTEN TO ARTIE!
Okay seriously did Matthew Morrison run over someone’s dog or something? Because the slow and total character assassination of Will Schuester marches on.
No Sue’s right. I’m not judging because I like “Blurred Lines.” It’s one of those songs that I like and hate myself a little bit for liking. You need to think things through Will. Don’t twerk with minors!
SHIRTLESS KURT SCENE!!!! GO TEAM!
Photo courtesy of Tumblr
Unique. Baby. This is breaking my heart.
The boys offering to go beat up people for her! Not the best move but their hearts are in the right place.
Well the history of forbidden dancing was cool. I liked the applications of the dances. I even understand his argument and actually kind of agree with it. In twenty years who knows? Right now though? No. No twerking. It’s still stupid. It really is.
MARLEY GO AFTER HER I WILL NOT BLAME YOU! Bree is the worst!
YAY! WILL BEING A GOOD TEACHER TO UNIQUE! I KNEW YOU COULD BE THERE!
And Kurt has a tongue piercing because of reasons. I do not understand them. But okay.
Now my heart breaks again for Rachel with her Finn tattoo.
Will gives up twerking so Unique can have her own private bathroom. Then everyone making her feel better!
“You Are Woman, I Am Man”
sung by Rachel Berry and Paolo San Pablo: The guy has no personality except that he is famous and there. He’s basically furniture right now. So it brings down the song. Lea Michele though shines. She sounds really good here. It’s very light and teasing. There’s a touch of innocence and sexuality. And she doesn’t sound like Babs! It’s always a plus. Sometimes she can veer into that direction. Here she sounded like herself. So good job. I just wish your partner had slightly more personality than furniture. B+
sung by Will Schuester, Artie Abrams, Jake Puckerman and New Directions: Uh…It was creepy. Really, really, really creepy and weird. Will has this thing of taking songs out of context. He thought it was about blurring a line in more philosophical way. Rather than it being a song about date rape like how the world interprets it. Not judging because I like the song. It’s one of those special cases of songs that I like and hate myself for liking it a little bit (another good example “Love The Way You Lie”). So yeah. Some of the dancing stuff was cool. Matthew Morrison sounded…good. So did Kevin McHale. I couldn’t hear Jacob Artist’s voice. Honestly people should have listened to Artie when he started to object. C
“If I Were A Boy”
sung by Unique Adams: This was heartbreaking. I really have to give mad props to Alex Newell. He did such an amazing job with this song. It was stripped down. The emotional response of Unique singing this immediately after what happened in the bathroom. The tears, the quaver of the voice, the strings playing in the background, it was so amazing. This number was full of perfect of choices. Plus Alex Newell acted it out beautifully. The little hitches in his voice were just little stabs to my heart. It was very beautiful. A+
sung by Marley Rose: This didn’t have the emotional impact of Unique’s. It was, however, cathartic. Marley was laying all of her emotions on the table and slamming them. She was berating herself for being so stupid. She was angry. Someone just took a wrecking ball to her relationship. Also, unlike Miley, she was wearing some clothes. So it immediately goes up several notches. Seriously Melissa Benoist does have a good voice. It can surprise you at times when she lets it loose. Still coming on the heels of Unique’s number along with it being a recreation of the music video in parts…Honestly it wasn't the best number that I've seen from Marley. B-
“On Our Way”
sung by New Directions: I really like how some of these ending numbers are shot. This one was really dizzying with the use of that roundabout. They wanted something a little more innocent? They definitely got it. I like group numbers that feel like everyone is having a good time. For the most part, it felt like a good time. Minus the parts where Marley and Jake were awkward with each other because you know Jake slept with Bree. It was full of energy and for the most part everyone got their chance in the spotlight. It was a solid closing number. B+
Overall, this was probably not the best episode for plot. I do, however, feel like it was a good episode in terms of some character development. At the very least for Unique I thought this was good episode. It’s probably not going to be one that will be remembered. For what it was, which was filler, I’ve seen worse from this show.
Come back next week where we ask the piano man to sing us a song. It’s time to pay tribute to Billy Joel.