Basically I just need to know if Rafael is okay. Now. Like, I’m sure he is, but I need to see for myself. 

Oh, yeah. Something something, “on last week’s Jane the Virgin” intrigue and drama and yadda yadda; but seriously, is Raf okay? 

We start with a glimpse back in time to the moment that Jane receives her first laptop. It seems as though her whole life she’s been chasing her muse. She’s learned from experience that you never know when inspiration will strike, which accounts for her writing thousands of words while she should be sleeping. 

Xo is gloating just a bit about Rogelio finding out that his mom had been lying to him for his entire life about his parents’ marriage. Maybe now he won’t glorify her so much. 

Liliana, however, is not giving up on her son so easily. He isn’t able to forgive her so quickly this time, though. It’s hard not to sympathize for her, while also sympathizing with Rogelio’s dad. They were partners, yes, but he wasn’t living his authentic life. She’s lost that partner, but he’s gained freedom. 

The family is sitting around the table when they discover that Mateo has scampered off somewhere. They realize that he has crawled into the kitchen, and in their excitement about his crawling, they don’t notice when he scoots right over Jane’s laptop cord, effectively pulling it from the table while also dousing it in orange juice. Worst news ever. 

RAF IS OKAY! Okay, it’s all good now. Michael finds Raf and he’s still unconscious. We found out last week that Rafael’s mom is Mutter, the legendary drug lord. When he figured it out while she was in his sitting room, she stabbed him in the neck with a sedative and questioned him about the location of the flash drive that he traded to Nadine in exchange for Mateo. He told his mother that they gave it to Rose, but she informed him that Rose does not have it. 

Raf relays this all to Michael, and now he’s freaking out because he broke several laws getting Mateo back, and when he tells his partner about the snag, she is incredibly pissed. Rightfully so. 

This is the thing about Michael: he is so tangled and entrenched in this web of lies he’s created he can’t find his way out. And something shady he has done in his past ALWAYS comes back to bite him in the ass. The road to Hell is paved with good intentions. That saying was tailor made for Michael and his antics. 

Jane flees to a computer store with Lina to see how bad the damage is to her laptop. While she’s there, the tech is heavily flirting with her. Lina points it out and tells her she needs to get herself some action, even virgin action. 

The tech comes out and tells her that the diagnosis of her laptop is not favorable, and asks if she has a hard copy. Yeah… the one she was scribbling all over in the middle of the night and OH that’s right she threw it away. Poor Jane. Sometimes her life truly does seem like a comedy of errors. 

Raf brings Jane a loaner laptop and spills his guts to Jane about his mom, the flash drive, and you know, the whole sordid tale. He tells her he’s fine and that she should go write. When she does, a cute guy sits down and says he’s here for their date. Lina created a “Cynder” account for Jane and uploaded a ton of drunk, trashy pictures of her and I love Lina so much in this moment. 

Rogelio is having a heart-to-heart with his dad, and he finds he’s very glad that he’s finally going to be happy. He decides that his mother deserves to be happy, too, and tells Xo that he’s going to hire her to be his manager again. Xo doesn’t think that’s a great idea at all, but Rogelio kind of guilts her and she acquiesces. 

Raf is waiting for Jane when she gets back from writing and they have a really sweet little moment. He just can’t help himself and he longs to be with her and I just want her to freaking GET OVER HERSELF AND FALL INTO HIS ARMS ALREADY!!!!!!!!!

Jane’s back to writing, attempting to finish up her thesis when she gets an email about her Cynder account. She checks it out and finds that there are several messages and “winks” awaiting her. She decides to just check it out, for courtesy’s sake. The first few are your typical nightmare “bro” types; but when she swaps out the photo for one of her and Mateo, she gets a wink from a cute scientist. They chatter back and forth for a while and decide to grab coffee. Jane’s going on a date!

We’re on the date and Greg is SUPER cute and Jane is smitten. I can’t blame her, he is rather dreamy. We find out that he is digging on her, too, and it’s gross and adorable. 

Michael’s partner (why can I never remember her name!?) comes back and tells Michael she has written a report detailing all of his violations, and he better tell her the whole story and explain before she takes the report to the chief. 

Jane has gone to Professor Sexy Pants to ask for an extension. He tells her an adorable anecdote and I’m pretty sure it was important but who cares, really. I just like to look at him.

We find out that Jane’s cute date actually ended up blocking her. She was too clingy, talking about Mateo ended up just scaring him away. Which, yeah, whatever. There is some serious baggage there. 

Rogelio’s mom is already causing serious problems but Rogelio is trying to smooth things over as she goes. His new costar is not okay with Liliana’s antics and he runs the risk of losing her if his Momager sticks around. 

Rogelio comes home with a rash on his neck and Xo knows that something is going on. He spills the beans about his mother and Xo tells him he just needs to talk to her. 

Jane goes out to a bar and spots computer guy. He asks her to a skate park and she actually goes and ends up completely crashing and burning. 

Computer boy is cute and attentive and they have a pretty hot kiss. This could be an unexpected turn of events. 

They have a perfectly wonderful makeout session and she asks if they can continue their date this weekend, like on Saturday. His answer? Oh, I can’t I’m going out of town with my girlfriend. Mhmm. 

The best part of this show is Jane, Xo and Abuela sitting around the table or on the porch of tears and talking through everything. Xo suddenly gets a text from Rogelio during this particular therapy session and she dashes to the set to try and calm him down. 

He tells her that he can’t handle it anymore, he’s going to have fire his mother. Xo tries to talk him out of it, but he tells her that there are no other options. Liliana pretends to be fine with her termination, but we all know she isn’t. 

Abuela comes in to give Jane some words of wisdom. She tells Jane that she should make time to find love. Otherwise, other things will fill up in those voids and pretty soon she’ll stop missing them. I love them so much. So, so much.

Xo and Liliana have a really great moment together, too. Xo tries to take the blame for Rogelio, but Liliana heard their whole exchange. She knows that Xo tried to stick up for her, and Xo tells her that they’re all there for her. Maybe they’ll find peace after all. 

Jane gets a text that her computer is ready, and while she’s in transit to retrieve it, the spark of inspiration strikes her again. She ends up riding the bus all the way to its very last stop without even realizing it, writing the whole way. 

Michael is in a bad way, going over Nadine’s death again and again with nobody but Jim Beam for company. But while he’s brooding, something Nadine had said strikes him. “If you don’t trust me, and things go bad tonight, it’s on YOU.” He realizes what this means… when she “dropped the bottle” in that flashback, she actually intentionally cut him and inserted the flash drive into the wound. The flash drive is literally on him. He opens up his scar and finds the tiny disk embedded in his flesh. 

Michael turns the disk into his chief and tells him that Nadine left with him but he didn’t realize it until last night. 

Rogelio and Liliana have a sweet moment together, and she gives Rogelio her wedding ring to give to Xo. She thinks she’s a good woman and that he should marry her. 

Rafael and Petra are picking out baby names and they also have a sweet moment. I really, really, REALLY hope they don’t get back together. We think Jane is turning in her thesis to Professor Sexy Pants, but she’s really in the middle of a fantasy. And it is a hot one, my goodness. She wakes suddenly from her dream and is definitely inspired. I’m still 100% Team Rafael, but I can’t help but also maybe root for the prof too. 

Until next week!