Whatever, Jane and Michael are back together. Nothing even matters anymore.
This is a telanovela. Perhaps that means there might be hope for Raf and Jane yet? Sigh. Probably not. They've pretty much quashed any real hope for that scenario to play out. Oh, and Xo and Rogelio broke up, too. So much heartache.
Michael and Jane are catching up on the porch and hashing everything out. They're going over the past 200+ days that they spent apart while intermittently making out. They do seem deliriously happy and yeah, whatever.
Jane tells him that he needs to apologize to Rafael and she needs to tell him what's going on before anything else happens.
Xo and Abuela are trying to probe about the night she just spent on the porch with Michael, but Jane refuses to spill until she speaks to Raf and is certain he and Michael can coexist for Mateo's sake.
Oh, Rogelio is there for breakfast. He and Xo have decided to be mature about their breakup. They're putting on a good show, but it seems as though they're forcing things.
We shoot to Petra and Raf, and we find that she is deep in the throes of nesting, but she does not appreciate Raf pointing that out.
Jane is back at the Marbella and she walks right into a crisis with Lina and their new boss, "Vests," or actually "Scott," or maybe... Mr. Archuletta, or something? Whatever, he's a douche. He accuses Lina of stealing alcohol, but she swears she's not guilty.
Jane has finally arrived to talk to Raf about Michael, and he doesn't take it well at all. They get into a screaming match and they somehow reach the conclusion that the only way to fix this is for Raf, Michael and Jane to all have lunch together. I am prepared for violent discomfort.
Jane and Michael are being all gooshy on the phone, when Lady Partner (I've forgotten her name again :/) comes in wanting to figure out how to get the jump on Mutter. She understands now how Rose was able to manipulate Michael into doing the wrong thing.
We get to meet Paola, Rogelio's new assistant, who used to work for JLo and is the picture of discretion. Paola might also be a stalker, but we'll revisit that later.
Jane wants to make sure that Xo is okay with seeing Rogelio this much, and she assures them that she is.
Jane goes to help Lina find the liquor thief, and we discover that it's actually Luisa that's been pilfering bottles from the bar. She thanks Jane for stopping her from binging again, and promises to save Lina's job.
Michael, Raf and Jane are lunching, and Raf has his "nope" face on. He isn't looking too willing to bend. He hears Michael's apology but he does not accept. They get into a ridiculous little spat and Raf runs off. Okay, I DO love Raf, I really do, but he is a huge fucking baby. I'm sorry, I hate to say it aloud, but it must be stated.
Losing gracefully is hard for everyone, but sometimes you just need to pull your big girls pants up and move the fuck on.
Jane tells Rogelio that she and Michael are getting back together, and he is doing the happiest of "inside" dances, having promised Jane that he would remain calm no matter how excited he is on the outside.
She tells him that she doesn't think it's going to work out, that she can't allow the animosity between Michael and Raf to poison anything surrounding Mateo. He urges her not to discount true love, and to really think about this decision.
Yep, Paola is definitely Rogelio's stalker. Whoops.
Raf and Jane are at swim lessons with Mateo and they're having it out in the middle of the pool when Mateo starts being adorable and they forget what they were fighting about in the first place. Jane starts playing with Mateo and Rafael looks on with such anguish and love in his eyes. Ugh of course he can't just move on, he's madly in love with her!
He tells her that it's not just because he's jealous, but because he legitimately believes Michael is dangerous, and Jane KNOWS that he has to make those types of decisions because of his job. It certainly makes her pause.
Rogelio and Xo are running lines, and the steamy scene ends with them in each other's arms in a passionate embrace. Who didn't see that coming, though? Those two are meant for each other.
Xo and Ro are naked in bed after their rendezvous when Jane comes home. She catches Rogelio trying to dart out of the house and goes to confront Xo. Rogelio is still holding out hope, and Xo needs to know that before she goes confusing everything.
Petra needs to know from Raf whether she and their babies are going to be second always to Jane and Mateo, but he assures her that he will be there for them.
Somehow Luisa has gotten someone else fired in place of Lina, and she's off the wagon, wasted in the lounge. Jane gets her safely to her room and Lady Partner comes over to take care of her.
Michael is texting Jane, asking about the swim lesson and she explains Raf's reasoning, his concern about Michael's job. He texts her that he'll just quit, and when she calls him to tell him that he can't do that, he explains that she is always the most important thing in his life. Nothing matters more to him than her. Sounds codependent to me.
Jane doesn't think she can let Michael quit his job, but Xo tells her that it's his choice, and that she thinks it's sweet that he's willing to do something so drastic.
Jane leaves to go to Rogelio's premiere and Xo sits down to order some Chinese and watch Downton Abbey, and has a flashback to a happier time with Rogelio and she loses it. Jane had to rush home to grab something she forgot and sees her mom crying. She tells Rogelio she'll be late, and leaves him to his own devices on the lavender carpet with his stalker, whom he reveals all of his secrets and passwords to. Not good.
Lady Partner and Luisa are having a sweet moment together, and she is able to talk Luisa into going back to rehab, promising that she'll be there waiting to take care of her when she gets out.
Jane finally finds Rogelio after the awards show walking the lavender carpet alone in the dark. He is very upset that she wasn't there for him earlier, and that she decided that her mother was more important. Jane tries to contest this, but Rogelio points out that they're both upset about the breakup, and tonight was a huge night for him; but Jane chose to stay with Xo. He tells her he needs some space and walks off.
He's not wrong, when you look at it that way, it does seem pretty cut and dry.
Jane confronts Rafael and explains clearly that she is choosing Michael, whether he likes it or not. She tells him that he is willing to quit his job for her, and that she knows that wasn't really what this was about to start with. He tells her that he doesn't want to be replaced, and she assures him that he is Mateo's dad, and he'll always be in his life. He promises her that he'll try.
He runs to Petra to try and find comfort, but she shuts him down and tells him that she is no one's second choice.
Jane and Michael lock eyes from across the pool at the Marbella and just, puke. He's smarmy and has weird, greasy Will Schuester hair. No bueno, Jane.
Rogelio comes home to find Paola waiting for him on his couch in the dark. She's changed all the locks and installed a new security system and put bars on all of the windows, so no one can ever get out. When he asks if she meant, "So no one can ever get in?", she insists that she meant what she said the first time. Rogelio is officially on lock down with his stalker.
Oh man, what an episode. The second half of this season has been impeccable, DESPITE the fact that Jane and Michael are back together. Hopefully I'll find a way to live with it.
Stick with me, Jane the Virgin fans; I'm here for the rest of the season.
Until next week!