Staff Writer
Tonight’s the night, the infamous first words we ever head from Dexter, words that won’t soon be forgotten. This episode began with fans receiving many video thanks from all the stars of Dexter, past and present, set to Robbie Nevil’s song “Fifteen Minutes” and actually brought me to tears.
The episode opens with Dexter and Harrison at the airport, getting ready to board their flight. Hannah is hiding out in the ladies room because fucking Elway is in the boarding area waiting for her. Dexter takes Harrison to the gift shop to buy some items, and it looks like he is taking a page out of Hannah’s book and plans to try and poison Elway. About fucking time someone did something to that asshole!
Debra is found almost bleeding to death, as Quinn comes to the rescue and calls 911. Quinn & Batista rush to Debra’s side as her fate remains uncertain. Dexter receives a call from Matthews, against Debra’s wishes, informing him of what happened. It’s at this moment in the episode where a feeling of complete panic washes over me and I feel like there’s a giant weight on my chest and I find myself unable to breathe. Oliver Saxon, who’s officially on my shit list now, is running around Miami bleeding from the gunshot wound in his arm, thank Deb for that one!
Dexter and Hannah plan to meet up in Jacksonville and fly out to Argentina from there, since they missed the flight from Miami because of that douche bag Elway. Hannah will take Harrison and head out, while Dexter stays behind to deal with Saxon once and for all, while tending to Debra. Deb and Dex have an extremely emotional goodbye scene, in which she asks him why he’s not in Argentina and he explains that they missed the flight. It’s really hard to describe this scene. Dexter blames himself for everything, and Deb tells him not to. It’s a lot of back and forth until Deb tells him to leave. We see flashbacks of Deb and Dex together in the hospital after Harrison was born, talking about whether or not Dex would be a good dad and how Deb has faith in him. As Dexter prepares to leave, the doctor lets him know that the bullet in Deb bounced all over, but missed anything important. THANK GOD FOR THAT! For a minute there, I thought Deb was done for! Cut to Saxon walking through a parking lot at a store resembling Big Lots and steals a pick up truck, and decides to drive to a pet hospital. He then demands at gun point to be sewn up by the Vet Tech. This poor bastard doesn’t realize this is the first and last mistake he’ll make in his life. A news report comes on the T.V talking about Debra’s shooting and Oliver Saxon being a wanted man, the Tech swears he’ll never say a word to anyone if Oliver just leaves, and Oliver agrees with him.
Back at the hospital, that poor little Vet Tech is dropped off by Saxon, who makes a pretty fucking poor ass attempt to sneak in and finish off Deb, because she hasn’t been through enough?! The Vet Tech is seen coughing up blood and chunks because Saxon cut out his tongue. Lucky for us fans, Saxon gets busted by Quinn, Dexter and Batista!
Back at Miami Metro, Saxon is in interrogation as Quinn, Dexter and Batista look at him through the one way mirror. You can clearly see that they all want this fucker dead as much as I do. He keeps asking for his lawyer, which almost gets him killed by Quinn, until Batista stops him. That lasts a few minutes as each of the officers does their very best not to kill him. It’s a shame, too. If it had been me in that room with Saxon, there are no words to describe the horror I would inflict on him. Saxon is taken to a different cell, as Dexter ponders about what to do next, since Quinn and Batista have enough evidence to ensure that Saxon doesn’t take another breath. Dex figures he can let the state of Florida kill Saxon, while he leaves to meet up with Hannah and Harrison.
If you know ANYTHING about Dexter, and you, like me, have been watching him pretty closely for the last eight fucking years, then you know FULL AND WELL that Dexter isn’t just gonna walk away from this! Dexter decides to get a kit used for taking a sample of GSR (Gun Shot Residue) from Oliver, making sure that everything gets done perfectly in regards to the case, completely by the book. Dexter heads down to Oliver’s cell and begins to set everything up to take the sample. He lays everything out so carefully, as Oliver sits across from Dex with this look like he’s about to shit himself, as he clearly can’t figure out what Dexter is up to. Dexter and Oliver have the shortest conversation I’ve ever seen, as Dexter tells him that he’s trying to figure out how to kill him with a pen. It’s quite clear what Dex is doing, provoking Oliver, smart move Dex! Oliver freaks out and stabs Dex in the shoulder, until Dex grabs the pen and shoves it into Oliver’s neck, killing him instantly.
Once again, I’m panic stricken as I begin to realize that Dexter did that in front of the cameras! I get up from my chair and start saying EVERY swear word I have EVER heard, and even some new ones I’ve just made up. This mood I’m in starts to improve as Quinn and Batista explain that it was self defense, as they finish watching the video. Batista starts to wonder how they will explain everything, which is easily explained by Dex informing them that he still works for them until the end of the week. Now, I take a deep breath and try to calm the fuck down, because I realize that this episode isn’t even close to being over.
Cut to Hannah and Harrison on the bus to Jacksonville, with Harrison falling asleep as Hannah tells him what it’s like in Argentina. Just then, Elway is shown sitting next to Hannah and grabs her arm, explains that the plan is for her to turn herself in as Harrison goes with CPS. FUCK YOU ELWAY! I HOPE YOU DIE! Sadly, I don’t get my wish, but at least something happens. Hannah reaches for her thermos for some tea, and offers some to Elway. He laughs and says no. Hannah is seen drinking the tea, but wastes no time in stabbing that fucktard in the leg with a horse tranquilizer! Hannah explains her plan to Elway as he falls asleep, allowing her and Harrison to escape unharmed!
Back at the hospital, Dex shows up as Quinn is crying his eyes out. It seems that something happened and Deb couldn’t breathe, so she was rushed to surgery. The doctor comes out and explains to Dexter that a blood clot must have formed from the first operation, resulting in a minor stroke. Deb’s body temp has been lowered to preserve as much brain function as possible. Looks like Deb will have to use a feeding tube, and will be unable to reason, speak or understand anyone. Now, I’m completely in tears! W….T….F!!!!!! Dexter looks as thought he’s lost everything that mattered.
Dexter puts on his kill uniform one last time, and takes the Slice Of Life to the hospital. He heads to Deb’s room, where the siblings share a truly beautiful moment, as he grabs her arm ever so softly and tells her how sorry he is, over and over again. Just as my tears start to stop, they begin again as I see Dexter reach to turn off the power button for Deb’s life support machine. She breathes on her own for a moment, and her heart finally gives out as Dexter tells her “I love you, Deb.”
At this point, I’m fucking sobbing worse than my 1-year-old son when he doesn’t feel good. The tears keep flowing as I watch Dexter carry Deb’s body out of the hospital, and down to the Slice Of Life. Dexter drives the boat straight out to sea and finds a spot to let Deb go. He takes a moment to admire her face, before he surrenders her body to the sea. Dexter is more upset at this moment than I have ever seen him, as he drives the Slice Of Life boat straight into the hurricane as he talks about hurting those he loves the most and how he needs to keep them away from him, never to be seen again. It’s at this moment, that I had to stop writing this recap, because I needed to be picked up off my bedroom floor. I couldn’t speak, I couldn’t move, I was completely fucking stiff, like Deb’s body going into the ocean. ::Sobs uncontrollably for several minutes::
As I lay on my floor, a scene is shown of Batista getting a phone call from the Coast Guard, saying that they had found Dexter’s boat and that there are no survivors. Hannah and Harrison are in Argentina at a café. Harrison is playing with a toy truck as Hannah sees an article about Dexter’s death on her tablet. She tries to hide the tears she is shedding for Dexter and takes Harrison to get some ice cream. Cut to a bunch of trucks loading and unloading a bunch of wood. My first thought when I saw this was “Okay, what the fuck does this have to do with the last 57 minutes of this show? Is this meant to not make sense in a ruse to confuse me and everyone else?”
I was wrong….dead fucking wrong. We see a man unloading a truck filled with wood, and upon finishing his work, heads inside some building that could easily pass for a shack. He takes off his coat and hangs it up, takes a sigh of relief and sits down at the table. We see that it’s Dexter! Motherfucker faked his own death! I didn’t see that coming AT ALL, I REALLY didn’t. I can’t even believe he did that to keep Harrison and Hannah safe. Dexter was more than capable of making the ultimate sacrifice, although faking your death is kind of a cop-out. At least he did what was best for everyone in the end. This was a perfect ending for the series and I can’t wait to watch it again!
My dearest readers, I hope you’ve enjoyed my recaps for Dexter, as I have truly enjoyed writing each and every one of them. If you like my recaps, and are a fan of Devious Maids and Supernatural, then stick around! I’ve got many more things to share with you!
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