I would have loved to have been in the writer's meeting where someone approved the "gag" of simulating the sexual violation of a two year-old as a zany comedy bit of mistaken circumstance by Zac Efron in Dirty Grandpa. Perhaps that would provide insight as to how this bauble of bad taste got made in the first place. An awful lot of people should have known an awful lot better than to participate in what will probably be regarded as the low point in a dozen careers. It would be hard to select the most disgusting moment of this opus but the audience I was a part of seemed to take particular exception to Robert De Niro's penis (a double I'm sure) being slapped along Efron's head while he attempts to sleep as a grandfatherly prank.
The aforementioned is one of at least forty different vomit-inducing attempts of desperate comedy. Wanna see De Niro jack-off in front of the television for a laugh? Here's your chance. Semen jokes? We've got plenty. Homophobia? Look no further. This thing is just jaw-droppingly terrible, a veritable zenith of poor taste.
De Niro (Grandpa) apparently has accepted the advice of his recently deceased wife to "get back out there" in earnest. To that end he cons his grandson (Efron, who is often referred to here as an attractive lesbian) into taking him on Spring-break where he can commit gross acts of old-on-young-horniness while repeatedly getting arrested. Along the way Bob and Zac manage to mock and marginalize virtually every modern minority in ways the Rat-Pack may have considered funny in 1964.
I accompanied my mother to this travesty (her idea, she was expecting something along the lines of MEET THE FOCKERS) and, like many others of her age who attended the first day screenings, she was astonished that De Niro would appear in this film at all. Maybe the company I was keeping made me more aware, however, it is safe to say that Bob utters the F-word more often than he did in GOODFELLAS for no good reason but shock. And we're not a family of prudes, trust me.
Aubrey Plaza does provide some genuine belly-laughs and the generous servings of Efron's Greek Godlike physique help to dull the pain of this cinematic root-canal but overall Dirty Grandpa is just not worth it. I mean it, you'll feel sticky.
(Loudinni provides movie reviews without spoilers in 500 words or less.)