Jeremy and Lauren, Peter's girlfriend, are holding a meeting about an upcoming fundraising event to benefit Doctors Without Molars, a charity that brings orthodontists to struggling countries. Tamra makes her episode debut when she speaks up to ask why they're going to struggling countries when she herself needs help because her insurance won't pay for the colorful braces she wants. Cue the Mindy sexism rant claiming that men control health care and that's why Tamra can't get her cute braces. "If there were braces for your penis, we would not be in this situation," Mindy says. "How about a charity that helps girls who want to look bang-able at work?"
After the meeting, Danny pulls Mindy into her office where Lou, played by It's Always Sunny's Rob McElhenney, is there and is not shy about his attraction to Mindy. He suggestively licks a Popsicle while looking into Mindy's eyes and Danny, who's been standing right there the entire time, looks on disapprovingly: "We don't eat Popsicles like that here." Jealous Danny is so cute.
The lovebirds eventually have a conversation about secrets, and Mindy agrees she'll try to keep her sex life on the down low around the office. Of course, if you are a gossiper then you know that keeping really juicy secrets is a very hard thing to do. What counts as really juicy? Oh I don't know maybe finding a pink thong in your boyfriend's drawer with the name Diamond on it and finding out he was a male stripper named Diamond Dan. Technically Mindy didn't tell the secret, but rather was caught googling strip clubs when Morgan comes into the office and sees the pictures reflecting off of her eyes and informs her that the thong is a male thong.
Danny finds out that Mindy actually revealed that Lauren may be cheating on Peter, even though he asked her not to. Later at the charity benefit, he tries to confront her about lack of secrecy and she confronts Danny about keeping so many secrets from her. "Why do you have so many secrets?" Mindy asks, outraged. "You're an OBGYN, you're not Batman!"
In another room of the party, Cousin Lou tells Peter that Lauren is cheating on him. Peter confronts Lauren, and she reveals that she and Jeremy kissed, so Peter does what any frat bro would do: He finds Jeremy and punches him in the face. After the one-sided fight, Peter and Jeremy talk it out, but he says he'll probably try to be with Lauren anyway. Does Jeremy not understand the Bro Code?
In a moment that certified them as my new favorite tv couple, Danny joins Mindy on a fire escape and starts telling her all his secrets, including one about how he wore a purse for two years in elementary school because his mom couldn't afford a backpack. So his secrets are out, and she confesses why she can't stop spilling them: "I want it to be real and the more real it seems, the less likely it is that it could all get taken away from me."
The episode ends the way it should if you find out your boyfriend was once a stripper. With a lap dance to "American Woman."
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