Media Courtesy of Comedy Central
“Could you keep your voice down? You’re scaring the thinner customers.”
Continuing to terrify me in how astute she is in cataloguing the anxieties and challenges of the modern woman, Amy Schumer addresses one of retail’s subtle jabs at body image in a recent sketch from her show’s fourth season where she looks for a size-12 shirt in a clothing store. I think every woman over a size-6 is familiar with the arrangement of clothing sizes on the racks and tables in a typical shop, with the larger sizes either hidden away under the main displays or stashed in the back storage room unless a special request is made for an employee to search for them.
Here, the salesgirl suggests that Amy “check under the table,” where the larger sizes typically are shelved, but to her frustration there are only tinier shirts that would give a Cabbage Patch Kid a muffin top. Perhaps Amy meant a UK or Japanese size-12 (the latter of which is an American toddler 3, according to the clerk)? Nope, a request for a US size-12 relegates Amy to a special section for women in her “situation”: a pasture beyond the dressing room where cows (and Lena Dunham) roam free. Fortunately, the clerk finds a bright blue tarp atop a wood pile that would be perfect for “covering your pool or your problem areas!”
When Amy went to pay for her tarp-blouse, I felt bad that she left Lena behind wearing a set of longjohns and a see-through raincoat in that field, but when a woman finds something that fits, it’s best to grab it quickly and in multiple colors.