Hello, my Gleeks!
After a really rough, painful, and cleansing episode with “The Quarterback”; it’s time for Glee
to find its “glee” again.
So what better way than to do an episode with costumes, giant sets, glitter, and Adam Lambert? If that doesn’t help cheer you up, then I have no clue what will.
Seriously, I’m here for the Adam Lambert in a sparkly top hat swinging from a chandelier singing Gaga. It’s going to be freaking magical, folks. It will be like riding a unicorn on a double rainbow to a land of leprechauns who hand out gold and grant wishes.
If it’s not, then I will weep bitter, bitter tears.
So I guess the main question for everyone is who are you? Are you a Katy or a Gaga?
Embracing The Katy And The Gaga
: New Directions has just learned of their competition for Nationals. One of them is the super intense, super artsy show choir called Throat Explosion. Apparently you need ten thousand hours of show choir long in time to even be considered for it. They don't even go to class. They're the Gagas of the show choir world and are considered the outcasts. New Directions are feeling threatened because they were the outcasts and they are on top. Tina says that they can't be "safe" or "wholesome" but "daring." They need to be Lady Gagas and not Katy Perrys. Will takes the reigns saying that they need to balance both. He has the Gagas (Kitty, Unique, Jake, and Tina) perform a Katy Perry number and the Katys (Marley, Ryder, Artie, Sam, and Blaine) perform a Gaga number in order to find the balance.
A Gaga By Any Other Name (Would Be Adam Lambert):
Kurt has decided to start a nameless band especially after Adam kicked him out of the Apples. He places an ad in The Village Voice
to get singers. He does hope, however, his ladies can join. Rachel tells Kurt that she can’t join his band because she is still hurting over Finn and wants to focus on her role as Fanny. Santana and Dani agree to it though. They want their own input in the band. So they show up and wait for the lone auditionee: “Starchild.” Starchild comes in apologetic for his lateness wearing a fantastic suit with matching top hat. People stopped him in the street to take pictures with him. He then proceeds to rock the house out and make everyone cry tears of joy. Except Kurt who doesn’t think his look is correct for the band. Rachel, seeing the audition tape Santana took of Starchild, confronts Kurt. Kurt admits that for once he doesn’t want to push the envelope that he wants to be someone who could just be universally liked for once. He is also feeling a little jealous because Rachel already has a lead on Broadway and Santana has done a national television commercial. He’s just honestly feeling like he doesn’t measure up. Rachel tells him that he needs to be true to himself and build his brand on what he likes rather than other people. Kurt admits that he needs Starchild to do it but he doesn’t even know his name or number. Starchild tracks him down at the diner, though. He reveals his name is Elliot Gilbert (while wearing adorkable glasses) and that he wants to live his life. He also was rejected from NYADA but goes to NYU. He lived in New Jersey and wanted to dominate New York and thinks that Kurt and the band are his chance to branch out and have fun. Later, Rachel joins the band after gentle prodding from Kurt and giving them the band name: Pamela Lansbury.
Katy Perry Is A Part Of Marley (And No One Will Bring Her Down):
Marley is having some issues this week. She can’t break with her wholesome image. Why? Because that’s not who she is and she doesn’t want to be disingenuous to herself. Jake does not really dig it. He wants to shake up their coupledom routine because they are doing the same things. Marley tries but it’s clear that she just cannot do the edgy, exciting things Jake asks. So she decides to embrace herself; instead of wearing the Gaga sea-shell bra costume for the number, she comes out in a Katy Perry outfit. The boys are pissed because they dressed up in their outfits and she welched. Marley, however, says that a) she didn’t feel comfortable with wearing a seashell bra and b) she wasn’t going to betray her own values for anyone, not even a boy. Mr. Schue, in a stupid douche move, suspends Marley for the week. Jake goes to see her later, while Marley is still in a Katy outfit and asks her to come over while his mom works late. They start making out. Jake wants to go farther but Marley can’t do that, so they stop and fight. Jake says that he has been patient but he has needs. Marley says that she is not that kind of girl and he can’t make her do anything that she isn’t ready for. She is not going to compromise the person she is so Jake can satisfy a baser urge. She then tells her that if he wants to sleep with a girl who will have sex with him then he can go ahead. Jake taking the “we’re on a break” excuse sleeps with Bree.
Just Dance (Because Sam Is Losing His Mind Over Nurse Penny):
Sam really, really likes incompetent, but attractive, Nurse Penny. So when he finds out that she is seemingly into Skrillex with a musical dark side, he is resolved to show that he can be edgy. Especially since he sees himself as losing major cool points by having a fanboy moment about Nickelodeon show True Jackson, VP
. So he gets really intense about it by having a stage/catwalk being built, getting a huge crowd, and wearing outrageous costumes. He loses it when Marley wears her Katy Perry costume. He goes to see Nurse Penny to ask her what she thought of the number. Nurse Penny admits that Gaga is too “dark” for her and that she goes to those shows like Skrillex because she keeps falling for bad boys. They keep inviting her to the shows. She actually likes sweet wholesome things. Sam invites her to the Katy Perry performance. Then they make out.
Dear God Why Are Doing This Again?
No. Seriously, I want to know. Why are we doing this same old tired ass plot of Sue destroying the glee club? Sorry. Right, so Bree informs Sue of Katy and Gaga week while she is wearing a crime scene tape outfit that leaves little to the imagination. She also tells Sue her plans to mess with Jake and Marley’s relationship. Sue is delirious from prep for a colonoscopy. Becky, meanwhile, interrupts her morning/afternoon announcements to have everyone watch the New Directions announcement that Sam taped. Sue decides to ramp up her efforts to bring the feud with the glee club back. She invades the rehearsal and suspends them all for dress code violations. Will gets angry and says that she told them to win Nationals and the suspension will cut in to rehearsal. Sue said that she doesn’t care about them winning and hopes they lose so she can cut Glee club. Will asks her if she is really bringing up this feud again because the glee club always seems to win. Sue says that yes, she is bringing up the feud again. So now it’s Sue versus Schue take 1 billion.
Random Thoughts/Favorite Moments
Throat Explosion sounds really weird and intense.
Tina continues to be a bitch.
I love Ryder. “Is there a third option?”
Wait. Katy Perry is wholesome?
Dani continues to be adorable. I love that she calls Santana “babe.” Also, Adam what the hell?
Wow. Penny goes to Skrillex concerts?
Oh Sam. Stop talking. Please. You’re losing cool points.
Becky is back. Hi Becky.
I love the Apocalipsticks as a band.
ADAM LAMBERT!!!!!! EEEEEEEE!!!!!! OHMYGOD OHMYGOD OHMYGOD OHMYGOD! I’m hyperventilating. Holy crap. I am hyperventilating. THIS IS LITERALLY THE BEST THING EVER! IN THE HISTORY OF EVER! OhmyGod those hips. AND THE CHANDELIER HOLY FUCK!!!! I think that I just my ears just had an orgasm.
I am with Santana that was damn awesome!
No I’m pretty sure the twerking is going to be more annoying next week.
Can Bree go far away? Just far away. Please? She really is just a bad imitation of Santana.
Becky’s Gaga outfit is perfection.
What the hell? WHAT THE HELL, SAM?! Sam clearly has snapped. (Can someone post that clip online though? Because it’s hilarious.) Stoner Brett’s reaction is perfection.
Kitty continues to be amazing. “She is the most vile human being on this planet. And yes, I am aware that is saying something coming from me.”
Unique and Marley are amazing together. Represent.
WHAT?! I’m sorry but isn’t the message of Katy AND Gaga is being yourself? Embracing yourself utterly and being self assured enough to own it? That’s what Marley was doing! THAT’S WHAT BOTH OF THEM ARE ABOUT! Someone smack Will. Call his wife! Emma should smack sense into him dammit.
Okay that was a really funny line Jake about the Thundercats. Also of course Unique would go break into a zoo. You go, girl.
I ship Elliot and Kurt now. I so hardcore ship them. Also Adam Lambert looking so utterly adorkable in his thick glasses.
Jarley fight. And it’s actually a legitimate fight!
Jake is going to use the “we were on a break” excuse, isn’t he? Yes, he is. No, don’t have sex with Bree. You can do better than Bree.
Pamela Lansbury. Weird band name. A band with lead five singers? Only one of which can play the guitar? Um…
WHY?! LET THE SUE/SCHUE FEUD GO AWAY! GO AWAY! THIS IS SO OLD AND DONE WITH!
Is the suspension sticking? NO! LET THE FEUD DIE! DON’T PUT IT BACK ON!!!
Now everyone is swinging. Kurt’s being awesome swinging upside down. Okay, seriously, is it safe for the kid in the wheelchair to be swinging on a vine? That just doesn’t seem safe.
“Marry The Night”
sung by Starchild/Elliot Gilbert: Adam Lambert singing Lady Gaga is one of my life’s dreams. I am so glad that this happened. This whole performance was utter amazingness from the vocals to the look to the movement to the shooting. It was just perfection. Adam Lambert is such a dynamic and visual performer but he can still blow it out of the water with those wails. It was one of the best introduction numbers to a new character period. It was definitely one of the best solos that I have ever heard on Glee.
There is literally nothing wrong with. NOTHING. A++++++++
sung by Sam Evans, Artie Abrams, Blaine Anderson, Ryder Lynn, and Marley Rose: The costumes were really amazing. Seriously can I say A+ to the costume department this week guys? I am anyway. The vocals were solid but I wish the song had a more even division of the lyrics. Plus the way it was shot left me feeling dizzy. The vocals were solid though. Plus it was a fun homage to Gaga’s video for “Applause.” Then there was Blaine in drag and Sam’s abs. That brings it up. Plus Marley looked super cute in her Katy dress. B+
sung by Unique Adams, Kitty Wilde, Tina Cohen-Chang, and Jake Puckerman: I have a weakness for stripped down versions of songs. So I loved this because it was so bare bones. It was quiet and lovely. Plus it provided a nice bit of reprieve after all the crazy costumes and the like from the first half of the show. Everyone had a moment for their voices to shine and everyone one of them was definitely on point. It had a nice, ethereal dreamy quality to it. A
sung by New Directions (minus Marley) and Pamela Lansbury (might as well get used to it): Special shout out to Adam Lambert and Demi Lovato. Seriously, can we just keep them? They are such great additions to the cast! There was a lot of power to the song along with some gorgeous sets on the New Directions side. It was fun and powerful. Plus I liked that everyone seemed to have their moment in the spotlight. The choreography on the Lima side was great especially at the big “Roar” when they got in the group. Then everyone was swinging on vines/random ropes. It definitely was a great number and a great production. My only complaint is that there were too many individual singers at once so it got confusing. A-
First episode back from “The Quarterback”. Overall, I think that Glee
found some joy again. It was a fun episode annoyances about people mistreating Marley aside. Look I wouldn’t wear a seashell bra either. Plus this is a high school. Sorry. Adam Lambert makes for a great addition to the cast. He’s very charismatic and charming. Elliot seems like a really great character, so I can’t wait to see more to come.
Join us next week when Glee
twerks. Sue tries to stop the insanity, and Rachel and Kurt get drunk and make questionable tattoo decisions (at least Kurt does).