There's a saying that there are two kinds of people, no matter the subject matter. While I don't believe you can so simply categorize a human, many people take the liberty of doing so anyway, unwillingly boxing people in to a stereotype without their permission. However, for today, I'm going to slap myself into a category that sometimes draws eye rolls from fellow women and even on the rare occasion, men. After all, my little piece of the pie I like to call home goes against what many people believe is just how biology works; and there are no exceptions allowed.
One of the biggest decisions in life pertains to children: whether or not to have them. Some people undoubtedly want them, others not so much. As a person who very steadily sits in the grass on the “I don't want kids” side of the fence, the decision seems a pretty solid one. Feel free to judge me for it, I don't mind! You certainly won't be the first by any means. When someone asks me if I want children and I say no or that I'm really unsure, they usually get that 'look' on their face. You know the one – eyebrows shooting up into your hairline and mouth turning into a mass black hole of disbelief. Honestly sometimes it's quite comical. At that point, most people don't ask me why, and I assume it's either because they automatically assume I'm some crazy person who doesn't understand or want to understand the joys and love of children. Or they simply don't ask me why because they choose not to comprehend my view.
In the past month, look at the news. Look at the chaos in the Middle East, the Russian unrest and subsequent murder of innocent air traveling civilians. Hell, look at the past 10 years! Wars, droughts, famine, diseases, all of which completely make or break us as human beings. And we're doing it to ourselves so willingly, which scares me so damn much. While I give tremendous respect to those of you who have brought humans into this world and taken care of them and been amazing parents, I don't know if I can stand with you. Why bring a child into this world? Think of all the times you're disgusted with current events, wondering how on this good semi-green Earth something so dreadful could happen over and over again. I'll bet you that you've had a moment where you thought to yourself "what kind of future do we even have?"
I don't want to bring a child into the world to deal with our mistakes and the centuries' old mistakes of our ancestors. I'm not a doomsday person; the world isn't going to end tomorrow or in 50 years. But if you look at 50 years from now, what kind of world will it be? Sure seems like we aren't taking the proper efforts to care for both Mother Earth or our fellow denizens, so I literally struggle to imagine the world being a safer, happier, more survivable place in 2064. I can't bring myself to force future misery onto generations that don't deserve to pick up the pieces that past and current generations didn't give a shit enough to band together and fix.
Tomorrow is only a few hours away at any given time of the day. And tomorrow always brings a second chance, a new dawn and a perfectly acceptable time to begin anew if the previous day just plain sucked. But to see far ahead of tomorrow and wonder if the same thing will occur then? I just don't know. People lack unity, and that may be our ultimate downfall. With so much hatred and bickering, even about the smallest of things, how are we ever to actually rise up as a species to get what needs to get done to ensure the future is indeed brighter? I do my absolute best to stay positive; going through life with a constantly negative outlook is no life at all, as far as I'm concerned. But no matter how positive I am or attempt to be, reality has a way of making your heart skip a couple beats when you truly observe the sadness that humanity forces upon itself due to conflicting ideologies.
In the end, this may all be for nothing. Maybe one day my biological clock will brush the dust off itself and start to tick. Even if it does, though, will the ticks be loud enough to drown out my concerns for the future? Will I look past the darkness that envelops a good percent of the world and give into my uterus because it's telling me so, as it's told so many women for eons? If that even remotely starts to happen I can guarantee one thing: I will stick this world under the largest microscope possible and I will scrutinize every bit of it, even more so than I do now.
And if it doesn't seem like the clouds are starting to fade from view, then I do not at all see how it's fair to force potential misery, frustration and potentially despair onto a child who has no choice in the matter. And this is no insult to my parents, as they are undoubtedly two of the most amazing people I will ever know. They didn't know in 1986 the world would maintain it's terrors and then mere years later increase them as those terrors were brought to our front doors with 9/11. Nobody had any clue at all, the future is always a mystery. But I've seen the world change since then, and I really don't think it's for the better. Yes, we do make baby steps on certain things that should have been fixed a long time ago (LGBT rights, anyone?) but then something counteracts that and we have to take two baby steps back! Humans MUST progress to give humanity a chance, but we are our own worst enemies.
As for the children of the future, they may not be mine and maybe that's a good thing. I don't want to bring a child into this world if they're going to feel and think and worry about their own safety, sanity and most importantly, futures. I'm already here, I get to choose...but they don't.
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