Bonjourno. It is me, SAB, back from Pareé. Baba Yaga sent me there after I whooped her ass. Now I have some time for another edition of RWBY RECP!

Glynda Goodwitch, Professor Ozpin’s colleague, confidante, and right hand, studies a scroll (sort of like a futuristic tablet) and informs Ozpin the last of the pairs have been formed: Nora Valkyrie and Lie Ren. Unaware of their childhood history, she muses that it’s unfortunate for Ren because she can’t imagine those two getting along. Even more so, she notes that at least he’s better off than Pyrrha, who is paired up with Jaune. She espouses suspicions regarding his abilities, noting that she doesn’t care what his transcripts say and that he’s not ready for that level of combat.

She says she supposes they’ll find out and that, at the current rate, the students should reach the temple within a few minutes. Glynda questions what Ozpin used as relics this year.

Ozpin only seems to half-hear her during her entire monologue, opting not to reply because he’s too engrossed with studying his own scroll, which shows Ruby and Weiss. The girls seem to be lost, with Weiss refusing to acknowledge such. Ruby and Weiss get into another argument, with Ruby calling Weiss bossy, only for Weiss (much to the viewers’ amusement) exclaiming, “I’m not bossy! Don’t say things like that!”

Ruby tells her to stop treating her like a kid, only for Weiss to fire back at her with the demand she stop acting like one. Ruby tells Weiss to stop acting like she’s perfect, only for Weiss to hit back with one of the most iconic and badass lines ever:

“I’m not perfect….not yet. But I’m still leagues better than you.”

Ouch. Weiss burned Ruby so bad, and she didn’t even have to use dust t

o do it.

Weiss walks away, leaving a hurt Ruby to mutter, “You don’t even know me…”

Blake and Yang come across a dilapidated stone circle temple in a clearing, and Yang asks if Blake thinks that’s what they’re looking for. Blake looks at her but doesn’t respond, and they venture closer to the ruins. On raised pedestals all around them are chess pieces, gold and black in colour. Blake is curious, and Yang notes some are missing, denoting they’re not the first ones there. Blake guesses they should choose one.

Pyrrha and Jaune stumble across a cave entrance, with a doodle of a scorpion, stick figures, and birds drawn on the entrance like a cave drawing. They don’t seem to notice it, focused on the mouth of the cave. Jaune asks if Pyrrha thinks this is where they’re supposed to be, and as they venture into the cave with a torch Jaune made (good for you, Jaune, you did something competent! I’m so proud of you!), she espouses her doubts.

Jaune sighs, asks her to humour him for five more feet since he made the torch, but immediately trips and it falls into a puddle, leaving them in darkness. Pyrrha asks him if he feels something, and he replies, “Soul-crushing regret?” only for her to deny that and state “It’s…warm.”

Yes, Pyrrha. I do feel that. It’s my shipper heart for you and Jaune. Just kiss already god damn it. KISS. K-I-S-S.

And then have 3.5 babies and live the American Valean

 Dream.

Yang picks up a bishop after asking Blake if it’s fine if they pick a “Cute little pony!”, and Blake indulges her with a smile. Yang remarks that was e

asy, and Blake agrees, saying it’s not like that place was hard to find.

Seven episodes in and I’m already trash for these ships. WHY IS EVERYONE SO SHIPPABLE?! @RoosterTeeth: I’mma

 need a Bumbleby 

(that’s Blake x Yang) endgame pls and thanks.

However, it’s proving pretty hard to find for Pyrrha and Jaune, who are still in the cave. They come across a glowing yellow thing in the dark and Jaune is excited, claiming “That’s the relic!”

Something you should know about Jaune. His luck is shit. Shittier than mine. And my luck is pretty shit. So naturally, that is not the relic. In fact, it’s pretty much a way to end Jaune’s life. Forever. In a very, very excruciatingly painful way.

He tries to basically grab certain death but it evades him for a few tries before he latches onto it, and as Pyrrha watches and says his name worriedly,  it raises him into the air and lifts him close to a face. A very scary face. A very scary face with about nine glowing red eyes, give or take a billion. And pincers. Very sharp pincers.

The scene cuts to a general view of the forest and Jaune’s high-pitched screaming can be heard for a long, long way.

Yang turns around, noting, “Some girl’s in trouble! Blake, did you hear that?”

Jaune continues to scream in an amusing fashion for help as Pyrrha high-tails it the fuck out of the cave, only to have the gigantic abomination of a scorpion, a creature of Grimm known as a Deathstalker, literally stalk after her, breaking through the small cave entrance and Jaune is still dangling from its tail.

Jaune cries, telling Pyrrha it’s not the relic, 

and begs her to do something. Pyrrha tells him that “Whatever you do, don’t let–” only for Jaune “Bad Luck” Arc to be sent flying, courtesy of the Deathstalker. “–go,” Pyrrha finishes softly, watching him fly off into the forest. The Deathstalker steps closer towards her, and she grins awkwardly at it before taking off.

Yang asks Blake if she heard the scream, wondering what to do, but Blake is too busy staring up at the sky, where Ruby is currently falling towards them.

Well, that was a thing.

All in all, this episode was great for Arkos (Jaune Arc x Pyrrha Nikos) feels, as well as some adorable Bumbleby 

moments. Give. Me. More.

Make sure to watch the episodes on Rooster Teeth (website) or YouTube, and buy Rooster Teeth merchandise to help support the amazing company that brings you great shows like RWBY, Red vs Blue, and X-Ray and Vav amongst others! Become a sponsor! Sponsors get content before everyone else and it would be a great help to the Rooster  Teeth community! Sign up to get a 30-day free trial, and if you decide you like all the extra perks, it’s $4.99 for a month and $15.99 for 6. That’s half a year!

List of perks include:

– Live broadcasts

– Early screening

– Sponsor-only shows

– Discounts on ALL merchandise

– NO ADS!

– Extended-cut episodes

– Behind-the-scenes episodes

Ain’t that grand? I’m a huge fan of Rooster Teeth, even if I’m relatively new. I got into it for RWBY earlier this year (sadly after the great and true soul of Monty Oum, creator of RWBY and crew member of Red vs Blue for a few seasons and beloved Rooster Teeth employee), and then retroactively watched all of Red vs Blue and wish I grew up with it (because 10+ years of Texas? Yes please. My fave. Please give me more Texas (I never thought I’d say that in any context).), and then watched X-Ray and Vav recently.

Rooster Teeth is truly amazing, perhaps my favourite company in the world (barring PopWrapped, of course), and I think they deserve all the support and fans in the world. Make sure to buy the first two Volumes of RWBY at the Rooster Teeth store.

Anyways, now that I’m done gushing over RT (at least for this article), what did you think of The Emerald Forest, Pt. 2? And more importantly, this deliciously idiosyncratic RECP?

Tune in next time for another episode of RWBY RECP!