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PopWrapped | Movies

Loudinni Reviews: The Boy Next Door

loudinni | PopWrapped Author

loudinni

Updated 03/20/2015 12:21am
Loudinni Reviews: The Boy Next Door | The Boy Next Door
Media Courtesy of Entertainment Weekly
It is very exciting to know that JLo has finally found a fellow artist that can give her butt a run for its’ money in her The Boy Next Door co-star, Ryan Guzman. Ryan is a former star from the Step-Upmovies which provided him the the acrobatic prowess necessary to kiss and make-out with Ms Lopez without sliding off her considerable lip-gloss. This thing is exactly what it promises to be in the preview: Lurid, sexy and completely ridiculous. I can’t decide which of our stars is more beautiful and neither can the director as he films everyone (including an entire high school of overage Ambercrombie & Fitch models) as lovingly as dewy fruit in a Whole Foods commercial. As the story goes, Jenny from the block has to pay the price for a steamy tryst with an irresistibly hot student and neighbor. Don’t worry, he’s twenty so it’s all perfectly natural. And trust me, it looks natural between them. Very. In fact, the only thing that doesn’t look natural in this film is a scene where Kristen Chenowith (playing a wee vice-principal) tries eat an ice cream cone comfortably. She handles it like it’s a loaded weapon she’s not familiar with. Watching the Broadway star negotiate an ice cream novelty is like watching someone pretend to smoke that doesn’t know how. Now the thing is; Jennifer Lopez really CAN act. I’ve seen it. And she’s good in this movie. Too good. It’s like watching a seasoned professional in a high school play. Ryan Guzman is a dazzlingly handsome young man with a lot of screen charisma. I’m not sure this is going to help his quest to be taken seriously. But the whole thing is quite guilty titillation and I’d catch it at home with a glass of wine and a witty gay friend to mock it with if I were you. (Loudinni specializes in movie reviews you can read in under a minute.)

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