Hello my fangbangers! I realize that I did not gift you all with a recap from last week’s episode. I beg your forgiveness, and please don’t bleed me dry. I will give you two back to back recaps to make up for it as the season is drawing to a close. As always, spoilers lie ahead so keep it moving if you haven’t caught up.
Although last Sunday’s episode of True Blood is titled “Dead Meat,” none of our regulars bite the big one. Sookie does make a decision that at first makes her pulse race and eventually will stop her heartbeat altogether.
This episode’s major plot lines:
- At Sookie’s request, Warlow agrees to help Billith save all our fave vamps from the Sun Parlor of Doom, provided that a) Billith doesn’t kill him afterward, and b) she consents to become his vampire bitch, I mean, bride. And, while the half fairy is fine with the first demand, the second one, she struggles with — mightily. She reaches out to Jason (via a tearful voice-mail message), tells Sam that she imagined a future for them (seriously, bitch?!) and finally visits her parents’ gravesite (those jerks), having decided that she’d “rather walk the earth as a corpse” than be laid to rest next to them. (PREACH.) But, when the bride-to-be gets beautified and takes Billith to fairy land, Warlow appears to be dead!(WTF?!)
- Meanwhile, Eric, still reeling from Nora’s gory demise, lashes out at Billith, then sets in motion his own plan to save Pam and Co., and bring down Vamp Camp. Eric starts his plan by interrupting Adilyn’s topless make-out session with Holly’s son, Wade, to drink her fae blood and become a daywalker (guess he remembered that works). The rest of Eric’s plan is unclear but we all know he’s not going to stop there!
- After smacking down would-be packmistress Rikki (hell yeah!) and her gang, Alcide returns Nicole and her mother to Sam. The good news is that now the fellas are pals again. The bad news: The guys have (literally) sniffed out that, unbeknownst to Nicole, she’s preggers. So, when Sookie comes by Merlotte’s to throw a Hail Mary pass Sam’s way (remember that from earlier), he’s in the middle of telling the clueless mom-to-be that he loves her, she can’t leave Bon Temps, etc., etc. This cannot end well.
- Arlene is all out of sorts when Lafayette reveals to her that, days before his passing, Terry took out a $2 million life insurance policy (HOLY MOSES). She’s even more upset when her husband’s family tries to include a 21-gun salute in the shooting victim’s funeral proceedings. (way to go, folks.) By the end of the episode though, she’s convinced to keep the money and let Terry’s killer go.
- Back in Vamp Camp, Violet (that’s the mean vamp chick’s name) makes Jason her bitch. “Please don’t rape me,” he whimpers (of course our village idiot assumes she wants to bang). James (Jessica’s FIB) saves Steve from drinking the tainted Tru Blood, so of course, in return, the total chicken shit ex-reverend thanks him by spilling his guts to Sarah (dick move). And, after brutally murdering the Tru Blood boss lady armed with only religious fervor and an impractical stiletto (heels are dangerous things, folks), Sarah has Steve, James, et al ushered into the Sun Parlor of Doom…dun, dun, dun!
There you have it, my Truebies! Will our favorite Vamps be saved? And what is Eric up to?
Go drink another blood bag and check back here later for this week’s episode!