On last week’s The Walking Dead, Carl got shot in the eye and lived. No really, he’s alive. At least he was the last time we saw him. I feel it is prudent to point out, again, that this is the second time he’s survived a bullet wound in the zombie apocalypse. Marinate on that for a minute.

The “previously on” segment shows Deanna and her plans, so I imagine we’ll be revisiting that whole thing again this week.

Okay I’m already on board with this episode. The opening scene includes one of the greatest songs of all-time: “More Than a Feeling” by Boston. You can try and argue with me on that, but I have a feeling you’ll lose.

Rick is hanging out with Judith and adding some notches on his utility belt/holster thing. There is a very domestic scene happening right now with Rick and family plus Michonne. I kind of wish she and Rick would just hook up already. I know this is probably an uncommon sentiment, but I really wish there was more sex on this show. I find the utter lack of it unrealistic. You cannot tell me that all of the adrenaline that accompanies the zombie-freaking-apocalypse would not induce at least a little bit of freaky passion. Shane and Andrea boned in the front seat of a Hyundai after a particularly gruesome battle scene, for Christs’s sake! I’m just sayin’, there should be at least a little sex, that’s all.

Anyway, Carl is fine and is rocking a Governor-style eyepatch right now. 

Denise heads Daryl off in the street and gives him a list of requested supplies. Daryl doesn’t know what pop is, and Denise explains that she’s originally from Ohio and I feel her struggle. Their exchange is awkward and I’m glad it’s over.

Eugene also gives Daryl and Rick a list of supplies, but his list has big picture stuff on it. Things that could possibly give them some sustainability. 

I’m sure I’ve mentioned this before, but I HATE it when the group separates, in any way. Though, I suppose if there had to be two to  venture off alone, Rick and Daryl are the ideal pairing. 

Daryl begs Rick not to turn the radio on. They must not have the same musical tastes. 

Michonne is on guard duty on top of a perch when she spots someone walking outside of the gates. My bet is on Spencer, but now I’m trying to remember if he’s actually still alive? I *think* he is, but honestly, it’s kind of hard to keep track. She goes off to investigate. 

Gene Page/AMC

Maggie finds Enid writing on a bench. Maggie asks her where she’s been, and Enid tells her “nowhere.” Maggie tells her that, after she helped Glenn get back and Maggie get down from that guard post, there are better places for her to be than “nowhere.”

Rick and Daryl are still on the search for some supplies and they come upon an abandoned general store. Chances are this place has been cleared out long before now, but they have to try. 

They open up a garage to find an old box van stocked to the gills with supplies. They’re going to start the van and just take the whole thing back with them and return for the car later. Then they decide to press their luck and stop off at another abandoned shop to pillage some more. 

They spot a busted up vending machine and use the van to turn it on its side to see what might remain. Rick asks why he’s going to the trouble to get soda and candy, and we know that Daryl is looking for the supplies that Denise requested. She wanted some pop to give to Tarra as a gift because she used to love it.

Just as Daryl was going to explain this, a bedraggled stranger takes them by surprise and comes up on them from behind. Daryl pulls his gun on him and he simply says, “Hi,” before we shoot to commercial.

He’s got a face mask on and says that he was just running from the dead. He tells Rick and Daryl that they probably have about 11 minutes before the dead reach them. He seems calm enough, but I can’t say I’d trust anyone at this point either. He tells them that he doesn’t have a camp and they don’t plan on telling them where theirs is either. We also discover that his name is Paul, but that his friends used to call him Jesus. Daryl is not okay with anyone that calls himself that and will not agree to inviting him back.

They hear what sounds like gunshots and go to inspect. Instead they find a trashcan filled with firecrackers. Jesus is smart. He distracted them and pick-pocketed Rick’s keys. He’s off in their van with all of their supplies. 

Michonne comes upon Spencer (yes, he is still alive). She kills a walker for him and finds out that he walks after his shifts every day and that she is the first person to notice. He continues his walk, with his shovel strapped to his back, and she insists on following him. 

Carl and Enid are also walking through the woods, and wherever they are, it is beautiful. On their walk they find what looks like a mylar balloon that has a note in it, but the weather has destroyed the words beyond readability. 

Enid wants to know why they’re in the woods, and Carl tells her it’s because they’re kids. Alrighty then.

Rick and Daryl are literally running after their truck and come upon the vending machine that had still been attached to it. Daryl busts through the glass and grabs the pop.

There’s still a trail, though, and Daryl can track anything; including a box van.

Enid and Carl are chilling companionably against a tree when they hear a rustling in the forest. Turns out it’s just Michonne and Spencer, though. So is this where Enid has been hiding out every day? She and Carl have been cozying up in the woods? 

She tells Carl that she doesn’t want to go into the woods anymore, and he throws his comic pissily and stands up. They’re heading back to Alexandria, but he’s basically just left her in the dust. He’s such a cheese dick, honestly. 

They come up behind a walker on their way back and Enid wants him to leave it, but he refuses to do that with Michonne walking around the woods. Enid and Carl recognize this walker, that much is clear. Carl stops her before she can kill it and when she asks why, he tells her that she wouldn’t understand. Is it because Carl is the one that killed this person and turned them into a walker? We don’t know, because we’re now back with Rick and Daryl. 

Who are stiiiiiiiill running through the street. 

They come over a crest in the road, though, and find that Jesus is broken down in the street with what appears to be a flat tire. Rick comes up behind him but Jesus kicks his ass real quick. He ends up getting the best of Daryl, too, but Rick is able to get him on his back. They both have him at gun point, and continue to ask him for the keys. They finally get what they’re asking for, and tie him up in the middle of the street so that they can get away. 

Rick assures him that the knots aren’t that tight and that he’ll be able to escape soon enough to safety. I have a sneaking suspicion this will not be the last we hear from Jesus. 

Gene Page/AMC

Rick and Daryl are munching on some of their pilfered supplies and Rick is still feeling super optimistic so they decide to pull off at a farm. They hear all kinds of ruckus and discover that Jesus actually hitched a ride on the roof of the van. This dude is a Michonne-level ninja, apparently. Rick forces him off the van and Daryl jumps out in pursuit.

A trap opens up and walkers come stalking out of a car. Jesus hops in the van but Daryl is hot on his tail. Their struggle loosens the break and the van starts rolling. They jump out of the van but Jesus gets knocked out by the open door. They decide to put him somewhere that the walkers can’t get him but not to bring him back to Alexandria. They’re going to check out the cars and try and tuck tail and run back home, sans any supplies. Oh, right, because their van is at the bottom of a lake right now. I think I forgot to mention that earlier.

The walker that Carl recognized was Deanna, and that’s the whole reason Spencer is out there with a shovel. He had to find his mother, put her down and bury her. It’s the only way he’ll ever find peace. Michonne holds her back so that he can properly mourn before he finally knifes her in the brain. 

Spencer finally gets the opportunity to bury his mother. He tells Michonne that she left him a note and they have a tender little moment. She also tells him that, she’s been out here chasing him all over the woods. He’s still got family, and he’s still got a home… maybe Michonne will hook up with Spencer, instead! He’s a hottie, and quite a bit more stable than Rick, I’d say.

Oop, I was wrong. Rick and Daryl brought Jesus back with them. Rick keeps jostling the unconscious Jesus into Daryl’s shoulder and they’re conversation has been decidedly deep today. Rick is still all about this life change. 

Michonne confronts Carl, who is porch-sitting with Judith, and tells him that she saw what he did with Deanna. She tells him that he should have left her or killed her. Carl tells her that he couldn’t just leave her out there like that, and that he couldn’t just kill her, because it should have been someone who loved her, her family, and that he would do it for her (Michonne). That’s how you prove your love in zombie apocalypse. 

Rick and Daryl finally pull up to the Alexandria gates after their long and and eventful day. Daryl tells Rick that he was right, they shouldn’t be out looking for people anymore. But Rick tells him that, no actually, he was wrong. 

They carry Jesus to Denise’s place to get some treatment and she directs them to the abandoned garage. They leave him in there, tied up and with some water and a note. 

Rick lays down on the couch and Michonne comes in and tells him to move so they can chat on the couch. Rick tells her that he doesn’t want to talk about his day right now, and she doesn’t want to talk about hers either. 

I kind a, maybe feel like someone is about to make a move here? Like, maybe? They’re all spread out on the couch in the firelight laughing and touching… 

YAAAAASSSSSSSSSSS. 

Oh my god, I never say that, but there was no other word sufficiently appropriate for this monumental occasion. Rick and Michonne are finally making out! Look at me, I’m seriously clairvoyant or something. It is so far beyond time for this I cannot even stand it. Though, still, all I can think about is, “Rick ran the hot, sweaty streets of Georgia all day, he must be disgusting.”

We find them later, naked and entwined in bed, when all of a sudden, from the darkness comes, “Rick! Rick wake up!” Rick and Michonne both jump out of bed with weapons drawn, and we see Jesus who simply says, “We need to talk.” 

Holy mother. That episode was killer. I know we’re only two episodes in from the break, but I am thoroughly impressed thus far. Michonne finally heeded Deanna’s advice and went for what she wanted. Richonne is really, truly here. 

Stick with me, Deadheads! I’ll be here for the duration of the sixth season.

Until next week!