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There's a "Monkey in a Box" on This Week's Dexter

PopWrapped | PopWrapped Author

PopWrapped

09/17/2013 3:57 am
There's a

image

Susan Booth

Staff Writer

The end of Dexter is very near! So far, we’ve got one major death and one possibly fatal wound for another major character. For a major episode this season, I found that the first half lacked some tension and some pretty noticeable plot holes that weren’t hard to miss.

We begin with Dexter at Vogel’s house, cleaning up after Saxon’s sorry ass killed his own mom last week, while destroying all sessions of Harry and Vogel at the same time, to make it as though he had no connection to her at all. Dexter says, “I never imagined that the last homicide I’d work would be one that I’m a part of.” He adds that he needs to call in the crime but can’t be seen leaving the scene, WTF?! The man kidnaps people during the day and now he’s all scared of leaving the house in the middle of the fucking night?!

We see a scene where Batista and Quinn are interviewing Dexter while he’s in his kill uniform, asking him about finding the body. Batista wastes no time in rejecting the notion of Dexter working this case – the defense attorney would have a field day with the forensic tech that found and knew the victim on the case. Mind you, everyone pointed this out last time when he worked on Cassie’s case.

Sometime later, Dexter goes home and reiterates his plan of telling everyone close to him that he needs to kill Saxon and then run off to Argentina with Hannah and Harrison. Part of this plan involves Dexter selling his condo and boat within the next 24 hours. At this point, we learn that the Slice Of Life has a fish finder, which is funny considering that the fish always find Dexter and not the other way around. Astor gets the SUV, and Cody gets jack shit. Harrison comes home from the hospital and tells Dexter, “Hey, you put Monkey in a box!” Followed by, “I combed my hair!” I love you Harrison, but how hard did you hit your head last week?

Back at Miami Metro, Deb is back on the force! Hooray! Dexter does a DNA swab for Oliver Saxon, who has come in to try and get his name cleared in Cassie’s murder. Dexter insists that he isn’t trying to kill Saxon himself, that he just wants him taken care of once and for all. Don’t we all?! Dexter then goes to a creepy abandoned mental hospital and finds Oliver’s kill room, which is how we learn that Zach didn’t just die here; Zach was kidnapped at the photo studio, taken to the mental hospital, killed, and left at Dexter’s place. Oliver, all of that shit was above and beyond – completely unwarranted and unneeded! Why the fuck did you go through all that fucking trouble just to make a point. You have problems! Dexter finds Oliver’s laptop in the kill room, which he wasn’t even smart enough to password protect a device that has video of EVERY crime he’s committed! Oliver is a fucking dumbass in this case.

The Deputy U.S Marshal is getting pretty fucking close to catching Hannah, because god fucking forbid this woman spend some serious dough on a fucking makeover this season – throw some plastic surgery in there for good measure.

 Deb lies and tells him that she took Harrison to the hospital, and not Hannah. I guess the hospital had no security cameras or else shit would be hitting the fan. Dexter’s going away party takes place at Papa’s, and the gathering remains fairly low key minus a talk between Masuka and his pothead daughter Nikki. Batista STILL hasn’t gone through all those boxes of evidence that LaGuerta left for him and it appears as though he may never get the chance. He tells Dexter that the door is always open for him to return, and Dexter says that he will miss them too.

Oliver Saxon shows up at Dexter’s condo with the real estate agent pretending to be interested in buying it. He offers Dexter a truce and says, “Choose poorly like Mom, and you will lose.” Dexter speaks to himself saying, “He wants me to walk away, but he just reminded me why I can’t.” The U.S Marshal somehow manages to convince Elway to go over to Deb’s house in search of Hannah, because he’s clearly too fucking lazy to go himself. Dexter moves Hannah to a hotel as it’s no longer safe for her at Deb’s house.

Dexter decides to send Oliver’s dirty little videos to a local TV station, now everyone thinks that Ryan Gosling is killing people. Deb comes by to visit Dexter and insists on having one last dinner together, despite impending danger from Oliver. The police go over to Deb’s apartment and tear it to shreds looking for Hannah. Hey dumb asses, ever think to go over to Dexter’s house too? Oliver shows up, but not before Debra and Dexter get the drop on his ass. Dexter takes him to the hospital kill room, but begins to have second thoughts about it and realizes he doesn’t even want to be there. Now, this may be a big moment for Dexter because he doesn’t want to kill Saxon, but that in no way means that he shouldn’t kill him! He deserves to die! Instead of killing him, Dexter calls Debra to come over and arrest Saxon. He hugs Debra as he says, “It’s just for now, it’s not forever.” As soon as he says that, you can tell that something is going to happen.

Harry shows up one last time and tells Dexter he doesn’t need him anymore. Awww, that’s really sweet…minus the fact that Dexter hasn’t needed Harry for the past four fucking seasons! Because that’s what we all want, some hologram of Obi-wan following us around all the fucking time.

Out of nowhere, the stupid Marshall shows up and bursts into the kill room! Seriously, FUCK ME…this can’t get much worse. Saxon’s image is all over the place, and yet the ONLY fucking cop who seems to have any idea what he’s doing can’t seem to recognize him? Are you fucking kidding me?!  The Marshall stupidly lets Saxon go, who kills him in return. Deb comes in the room and BANG, Saxon shoots Debra! She is wounded pretty badly as Saxon escapes and a bolt of thunder crashes down, letting us know that the perfect storm is coming.

Allow me to state the obvious; the Marshall could have been played by Quinn or Batista. Fuck, even Elway would have been tolerable, and the guy bores the hell out of me every time I see him. Why would a series that already has a large amount of cops feel the need to add one more for the last few episodes in the series? Is there an actual point to this guy? Also, did anyone else see that huge spoiler for next week’s finale compliments of Reddit from a few weeks back? With the current turn of events, it looks like they may actually be correct, and it meshes up nicely with what happened last week.

Lastly, are you REALLY trying to tell me that all Dexter needed to control his never ending urge to kill was the love of a semi-decent woman?! Or in this case, some hot blond who likes to poison everyone and leave them on the side of the road. ROTFL!

This season of Dexter is really easy to enjoy, as long as you do nothing but sit there, watch, and don’t think about it if you can help it. People have been a tad critical when I or other recappers tend to speak negatively about Dexter or continue to point out those things that make no sense. When you write about a show like Dexter, you have to think it through. And, when trying to explain what’s happening to your readers, you suddenly realize that the puzzle pieces don’t fit together at all. I was sitting here writing this thinking “So, Dexter did that because…ah, son of a bitch, none of these fucking words work!”

Let me know what you think - until the finale!

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