Well, it's that time of year again: it's Thanksgiving! That means eating all the food at the table, drowning in potato, being thankful for your family for about two seconds, and watching football. In fact, it can all be defined by this picture.
Yes, that is me right now, seriously, but, actually, there is something else that truly shows us how our traditional Thanksgiving really goes. Without further ado, here is everyone's traditional Thanksgiving, as told by our favorite TV shows and movies.
You wake up and remember that it's Thanksgiving. Food, food, FOOD! It's going to be a hell of a day!
This is your time to shine, champ: turkey legs, gravy, sweet potatoes, stuffing, and macaroni and cheese. There's also dessert, appreciating your family for 2.5 seconds before you hate them again, AND FOOTBALL.
But then you remember that you have to see your family. All of them. Yep, annoying cousins and critical siblings included.
It's as if you're already planning your imminent death. A Thanksgiving dinner means that, after a long day of saving your stomach to eat as much food as you can, you have to gather 'round the table with your grandparents, parents, in-laws, cousins and even siblings.
"What have you done with your life?"
The questions will NEVER END.
You drive to the house and see A MILLION CARS. You walk in and who's there? All your family members just sitting right there.
That's right. Aunt Crystal is here, and she never forgets to eat ALL the stuffing. Grandpa Joe already called "dibs" on BOTH turkey legs. As you sit there and realize that your plan to eat everything has been foiled, you decide that the human race needs to be narrowed down by some new plague. However, it's not all over yet. Dinner's not ready.
The oven dings. This is the time to run. The turkey is cooked, the potatoes are all ready for the taking, and the stuffing's never smelt better. "Dinner is served," Grandpa yells. You run like it's The Hunger Games.
You have the turkey leg; now run before Uncle Mike sees you carrying it, and it becomes all-out warfare in Grandma's house.
All right, you have your food, and all is safe now. You run to the bathroom before dinner starts, and you know that is the perfect amount of time for all of them to talk about you.
"She's gained a bit of weight, hasn't she?"
"I heard she got a C on her midterm?"
Yeah, Thanksgiving is every college student's nightmare, and you know it and there's no way around it.
You get back from the bathroom, and the family is ecstatic. They pile on the questions.
"Did you decide what you want to do with your life?"
"Stop with those goddamn guitar lessons; aren't you going to be a doctor?!"
You keep that smile on your face but know it won't last much longer.
And to make it worse, Grandpa Joe took your spot. So you have to sit next to your competitive cousin who always tries to one-up you. And, knowing you, you aren't so great, so you stuff your face with jealousy, as she talks on and on about how perfect her life is.
You get back up to go enjoy the rest of your food, knowing that is the only thing that will get you through this god-awful night. However, it's gone. All of it. Gone. You are left empty.
As you fall deeper into your New Moon depression, you realize that you're full anyway. You return to the table and have one phrase that answers every question.
Finally, you're just about done with everyone's shit, including your next of kin.
But thankfully, something happens that puts an end to all the questions. Dessert is ready, but you're too full to finish it.
Finally, you go home and plop down on the couch and fall asleep. You then realize the same cycle starts again... 365 days later. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!