There are those who are excited about the fall season because of the fashion. Then there’s me who knows that the fall season means one thing: TV season premieres. NBC premiered its new show, The Mysteries of Laura, on Wednesday night (Sept. 17).

Debra Messing (Will & Grace) stars as Laura Diamond, an NYPD homicide detective who somehow is able to balance her day job with her crazy family life of having two trouble making twin boys and soon-to-be ex-husband (played by Josh Lucas). An ex-husband who is also a cop and just can’t seem to sign the divorce papers.

Tonight’s episode of the new dramedy, titled “Pilot,” begins how any cop show would…a police chase.  Laura chases a criminal through a park full of people. The criminal grabs a hostage and holds a gun to his head.  Now if this was Law & Order, we would see the detective try to reason with the criminal and get them to put down the gun.

But this ain’t Law & Order.

Laura gives him 3 seconds to drop his gun and when he doesn’t do that, she shoots him in the ear.  I already like this show. Straight to the point. Why reason with a criminal?

Laura arrives back at the station to cheers from her colleagues.  Meredith (True Blood‘s Janina Gavankar) comes to her desk and instead of congratulating Laura decides to be a hater and is all like, “Oh glad you caught your perp and all, but did you discharge your weapon? Cause you’re not supposed to do that.” Then Laura was like, “Hell yeah I did cause I’m a boss and following the rules is for suckas.”

Captain Dan Hauser (Veronica Mars‘ Enrico Colantoni) calls Laura into his office to inform her that Eric Woldon, a computer programmer, is receiving death threats and promised his wife that he would have a detective come by the house because she’s worried. As Laura is complaining about how she doesn’t want to go, Max (Max Jenkins) informs her that there is a “911 at Newhall.”

What’s the 911? A room covered from the floor to the ceilings in red paint. Who did it? Laura’s two twin boys also covered from head to toe in paint. She rushes them home to clean them off when her ex-husband comes to gift them with dart guns. He obviously does not pay attention to their mischievous ways because I don’t think dart guns are a good gift for those two.

Later that night, Captain Hauser and Laura arrive at Woldon’s mansion where they find Woldon and his wife plus a couple of friends having dinner. The detective duo go off to inspect the house (after Laura has to be taken away from her cheesecake and glass of wine) and corners Woldon in his bedroom. While they are asking him about why he thinks people are threatening him, he begins to act a little weird and kicks them both out. In the driveway, Laura and Dan discuss their divorces and Dan tells Laura that even though his wife has been dead for months he still wears his wedding ring. They hear a scream from inside and run to find Woldon dead with a syringe in his neck. DeeDee believes that people wanted Woldon dead because he had new cellphone technology he wouldn’t share.

Laura and her partner Jake head to Newhall and meet with their sons’ principal.  He informs them that the boys have been expelled and are no longer welcomed at the preschool. Yikes!

While Laura panics about where they’re going to send the kids, Jake is very nonchalant about the whole situation. Which frustrates Laura to the point where she tells Jake that if he isn’t going help her, then he needs to sign the divorce papers and get out of her life.  Meanwhile, while the parents argue, the kids are busy having a pee pee war. She is forced to take her sons to the police station where she finds out that Eric’s brother, Brad, has been arrested for fraud and assault multiple times. Turns out Eric’s cellphone technology offers smartphones “unprecedented cell phone service,” and they believe Brad killed his brother to sell the design to another company.

Sooo…this unprecedented cell phone service? Can we get this in real life?

Laura and her partner Billy head to a club where they spot Brad exchanging a smartphone with a guy and receiving an envelope. Brad sold the design for $2500 so he could cover a football debt, but says he would never hurt his brother. Brad reveals that Eric was actually cheating on his wife and she caught him in bed with another woman. Gasp! Scandal!

While Laura tries to solve the murder case, she is also trying to find a preschool that would be willing to take her kids. This leads to her blackmailing a cheerleading coach and tells her if she gets her kid into the school she won’t arrest her for marijuana possession and unpaid parking tickets. Back at the station, a medical examiner lets the detectives know that mercury was found in Eric’s body and whoever handled the mercury would still have it in their system. So Laura asks DeeDee to come to the station and she cries and confesses that she and Eric planned on renewing their prenup and calling off their divorce. Thinking that DeeDee is telling the truth, Laura no longer thinks she’s a suspect, but saves the tissue DeeDee cried in to test for mercury.

The Diamond clan get good news when Laura gets a call for a preschool interview. To make sure the boys are on their best behavior, she drugs her children with cough syrup to calm them down. Maybe a little bit too much cough syrup because the boys are asleep on the couch when Jake finally shows up. They finally wake up, but one of the boys shoots a dart at the principle and the other vomits on Laura and Jake. Maybe they should try the homeschool/tutoring route.

The next day, Laura heads to the station where she learns more about Eric’s affair. They discover what hotel he took the mistress to. The mercury results are also in, and DeeDee tested positive, so she must be arrested after the funeral.  Laura and Billy find a maid, at the hotel, who is wearing the mistresses’ ring and says that it was left behind, but doesn’t know who the mistress is. As the detectives are leaving, Laura tells Billy she knows who killed Eric and it wasn’t DeeDee.

Dan interrupts the funeral to arrest DeeDee, but Laura and Billy arrive to tell Dan that DeeDee isn’t the one who killed Eric. It was actually Dan!!!!!

Just another cop killing a citizen. Oh is it not that kind of story?

Turns out the mistress was Dan’s wife and Laura knew this because the couple got matching wedding rings. Awww…so cute. Dan stabbed Eric with the syringe right before leaving the house and faked the test results to frame DeeDee. Laura arrests Dan and heads back to the station, finding her future ex-husband waiting for her.  She is gifted with a bag full of school uniforms and surprises her with news that he got the kids into preschool. Oh and he will also be her new boss.

AWKWARD.

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