After last week’s game-changing introduction of new Everlasting showrunner Coleman Wasserman, Guerilla opens with ATVs and explosions. Yes, this is Chet’s new version of EverBlasting Everlasting.
Quinn decides she will go produce some of the Everlasting girls herself, “I’m going balls deep in this bitch,” she says, and if the network doesn’t appreciate it then she’s done with the show. So she goes to look for the ones most likely to break. She picks Chantal and Brandi. When Jay protests and asks if maybe they should ask Coleman, Quinn responds, “Say his name again and I will staple your dick to your anus.” Yikes.
Quinn goes to meet Brandi and tries to let Brandi feel connected to her and earn her trust by telling her that she grew up poor and with an alcoholic father. Quinn also tells her the same old lie they use with every girl, that Darius has told her that he likes Brandi. Quinn then goes to Chantal and tells her Brandi has been saying that she has been using her fiancé’s death to get ahead and that she doesn’t believe Darius would want be with someone as fragile as Chantal.
Coleman and Rachel are looking at Quinn through the monitors in the control room and Rachel is explaining to him what they do and how they do the show (read: manipulate everyone). She asks why he chose Chet’s version of the show and he says Chet is friends with the network president and that he’s just giving him rope so that Chet hangs himself.
They start talking about Coleman’s ex girlfriend. Rachel certainly seems to touch a nerve and Coleman gets more upset talking about why they broke up. Rachel interrupts him and says “Hey Coleman, just so you know, that’s how we make the show.”
Afterwards, the girls are going to try to win a one-on-one date via obstacle course, because why not… Brandi and Chantal are part of the same group obviously. They are head-to-head climbing a wall and Chantal, who want to prove everyone she’s not “fragile” is winning, so Brandi pulls her down from the leg and Chantal falls to the ground. Everyone freaks out, except for Quinn who is as giddy as a child in a candy store. Chantal is hurt and as a result, and certainly in order to play more mind games with her, Brandi is put in “the hole,” a dark room similar to a solitary cell from Orange is the New Black. Why do they have this in the first place?
Coleman, after watching all of this, asks Quinn if she has an endgame, she says she does and he asks her what she needs. Quinn says to sideline Chet and give her the whole day to run the show. Coleman agrees. Chet is not happy with Coleman’s decision, and things seem to get worse for him after he calls his lawyer about his child custody hearing and finds out his ex wife got full custody of their baby.
Darius goes to see Chantal in the medical room they have set up for her at the Everlasting mansion. Rachel gives him some flowers and a teddy bear to give to her and some pointers on what to say. She asks him how is his pain, he acts like he doesn’t understand but she says she’s been watching him and that he doesn’t even work out. He responds telling her that he’s okay and she’s just imagining things. But we all know that’s not true and this is part of a storyline we’ll see in the future. He then goes to talk to Chantal who appears to be more than smitten with him. They kiss and he looks straight at the camera showing us that there is absolutely nothing sincere about that kiss, at least from his part. Quinn and the others look on from the control room and they are ecstatic as to what they are creating.
After Darius leaves Chantal he goes to a cocktail party in the mansion and we get a glimpse of Ruby in another awesome t-shirt looking over at all the girls who are donning their most beautiful dresses. Jay, who previously talked to Ruby about trying harder to win the season, sees her and rolls her eyes. Ruby then asks Yael to lend her a dress. Ruby looks beautiful and Darius notices.
Darius goes straight to Ruby but Beth Ann, who earlier made my skin crawl by uttering a certain Republican nominee’s catchphrase, intercepts them. Ruby and Beth Ann get into a fight but are separated. Jay then figures out that Ruby is developing real feelings for Darius.
We then see Quinn entering “the hole” to talk to Brandi. She tells her that they know about what happened to her when she was in the system, but Brandi doesn’t want to talk about it. Quinn tells her she seems crazy and that the other girls don’t feel safe around her. Rachel then “goes for the kill” and convinces Brandi to tell Darius about her past abuse. At her date she tells Darius about her life in the system and the horrible abuse she went through with one of her foster fathers. Darius is, evidently, sympathetic and the couple even kisses. But after the date, he is taken to Quinn’s office where he is introduced to Brandi’s mother. What is going on? Apparently Brandi is a pathological liar who was never in foster homes and was, therefore, never abused. But, knowing Quinn, I bet this is all made up.
Darius is distraught and, at the elimination ceremony, sends home a completely shocked Brandi. He tells her she was not truthful and that honesty is something he values. (Didn’t Darius just lie about why he’s on this show in the first place? Ok then…) She starts to tell him that she was honest and that she has never seen the woman who claims is her mother. As Darius starts to walk away Brandi goes after him and jumps on his back while screaming that she’s not crazy. Brandi, that’s not the way to convince someone you’re not crazy, girl. We then learn that Quinn hired an actress to play Brandi’s “mom” and that, as we thought, everything was a set up to break Brandi and make “good” TV. Poor Brandi.
Rachel and Romeo see that Darius is hurt after Brandi climbed on top of him like that, which ties in neatly with the conversation Rachel previously had with Darius. Chet’s day only gets worse when Darius tells him he’s following Quinn’s advice and moving back to the Everlasting mansion and out of his house.
Coleman finds Rachel in the control room and asks her why is she still on Everlasting. She says she pushed for a black suitor and thinks it’s going to have a huge cultural ripple effect and that she won’t walk away from that. I like this pair. He seems to get her better than others and is not as cynical as other people who surround Rachel. Coleman appears to understand that Rachel ultimately wants to do something that matters.
The following morning Gary arrives on set with a sports car he’s going to apparently gift one of the Everlasting employees as a thank you for a great episode. After Quinn sent him as sizzle reel and left him a message telling him how she made the whole craziness on the episode happen – “You asked for suicide ratings without the suicide and I got it.” – she’s sure Gary will be bowing down to her and giving her the show back. Gary, instead, thanks Coleman and tells Quinn about Rachel going behind her back on the first episode of the show. He tells Quinn to keep her people in line. She chillingly says she will.
Rachel sees Gary and Quinn talking and knows what’s going on. She freaks out and goes to pack her things so she can escape Quinn’s revenge. Coleman finds her and tells her she could do so much more than what she’s doing right now. That Chet and Quinn can do Everlasting but him and Rachel can do better things. I’m already shipping these two. I think Rachel needs a push to step away from under Quinn and Coleman might be the one who can do it. He kisses her and then apologizes for doing it, asking if it was too soon.
She kisses him back in response and they are on full make-out mode when she gets called on the radio. Darius wants to see her. We then cut to Chet, who is in his baby’s nursery; he picks the baby from the crib and walks away with him. Uh oh. Rachel knocks the door to Darius’ room and he tells her to come in and close the door behind her. She sees him in bed, apparently not able to move. Double uh oh.
UnREAL keeps delivering excellent episodes and gif-worthy quotes. What did you guys think of Guerilla? Are you shipping Coleman and Rachel? Let us know!