On this week's episode of The Walking Dead, "Sing Me a Song," we get a deeper look at the Saviors and how they came to be ... the way they are. Is this something I really want to know? Not sure yet, I'll let you know once all the dirty laundry has been aired.
We kick off this week with Michonne lumbering down a seemingly deserted road. She's whistling, which is honestly creepy AF since that's Negan's signature sound effect.
Her macabre song attracts some walkers from the woods, and GOD I hope she makes more walker guardians! Also, I will never feel the same way about "Farmer in the Dell" again.
Michonne does not keep the walkers as guardians, and I'm super bummed about it. Since the day her guardians (which were actually her husband and dear friend that had been turned) bit it, it has felt like she's missing something.
So we're back with Rick now, who has been bunking with Aaron in the back of a tractor trailer. Aaron opens the door and points to something in the distance and says, "I didn't see that last night." Rick asks, "What?" but we shoot to some of the Saviors in a truck instead of seeing what Aaron has spotted.
This is the truck that Jesus and Carl have been hanging out in. They are hitching a ride so that they can discovered where the Saviors' camp is.
Honestly, none of them deserve Jesus. He's making a trail so that they can find their way back. He is brilliant and good and pure and the ally we all need.
Carl tells Jesus that he needs to see him jump out of the truck so he knows how to do it, urging him to go first. Instead of jumping after Jesus, though, Carl stays put and rides it all the way back to Negan.
Carl hides behind the supplies and grabs a machine gun. When one of the Saviors comes close to collect boxes, Carl shoots him and his comrade point blank. He exits the truck and tells the Saviors that he's only here for Negan, and no one else needs to die, but they are ALL Negan, right? They aren't about to let their Lord and Savior take a bullet.
Dwight tackles Carl out of nowhere and Negan tells him to back off of their new guest, but the skirmish catches the attention of Daryl. His interests are piqued.
Negan is intrigued by Carl. I imagine he intends to teach him quite a lesson.
The Saviors' camp appears to be some old abandoned factory -- which seems perfect for someone like Negan, to be honest.
Carl asks Negan what he's going to do to him, and Negan tells him that he better not shatter the illusion he's got of him. Carl is a badass, and Negan intends to continue to think of him that way, thank you very much.
Negan enters the hub of the factory, and all the people congregating on the main floor take a knee in deference to their leader. He is benevolent, so he tells them that they will all get fresh vegetables with their dinner.
We're back in Alexandria, and Rosita is still resisting the new role Negan and his Saviors have cast upon them. Spencer and Father Gabe are heading out to get the supplies Negan requires, but she will not be party to it.
Negan has taken Carl into his private wife quarters, where it's basically just all of the attractive females from the camp all gathered together and waiting to be called upon by Negan.
Dwight's wife who is now Negan's wife is summoned by her deranged husband so that he may interrogate her about one of his other wives that behaved badly. She finally gives him the information because, well, she has to, but she begs Negan to take it easy on Amber, the girl who had a tryst with her former husband.
He tells Amber that he doesn't want anyone there that doesn't want to be there, and she's welcome to go back to Mark, but he will not tolerate her cheating on him. She tells him she'll stay and she looks absolutely terrified because if she chooses anything else, something terrible will happen to either her or Mark.
Dwight's wife is clearly Negan's most trusted and adored because she has a spine and tells him he's an asshole. He trusts her with tasks that go outside of the realm of "hole."
Daryl and Dwight enter the room with Negan's food and see him making out with Dwight's wife. Dwight has murder in his eyes, but he'll never act on it. Or will he...?
Rick and Aaron hop a fence that says, "Keep Going. Only thing here 4 you is trouble."
They decide they have to risk it. There really are no other options when it comes to getting supplies to keep all of Alexandria alive and fulfilling the requirements of the Saviors.
Father Gabe and Spencer are chatting, and Spencer is talking about his unceasing hate-on for Rick. Father Gabe tells him that he's wrong about Rick, he brought out the good in him, a scared and corrupt priest.
Spencer has always been a whiny bitch, to be honest. A mama's boy that doesn't know how to live in this world. He hopes Rick never makes it back from his supply run.
Father Gabe is not here for this shit and tells Spencer to stop the car. Father Gabe tells Spencer that what he's saying doesn't make him a sinner, but it does make him a tremendous shit -- but no worries, he can fix it if he's so inclined.
Father Gabe then exits the car and begins walking back to Alexandria, leaving Spencer alone in the car. Not actually something he's prepared to handle, in my opinion. But, instead of driving off alone, he starts running into the woods.
He comes upon a walker perched upon a tree stand.
Negan brings Carl into his bedroom and explains that he decided he wanted to bang a whole bunch of women at once, so he changed the rules of marriage (at least for himself). Simple as that.
Negan sits Carl down and tells him that he actually really admires him and thinks he's really smart. He's not some mopey teenager bitching about missing his prom -- he hitched a ride in Negan's truck and infiltrated his camp. He's a man with a plan!
Then, he tells Carl that talking to him is like talking to a birthday present. Take off the bandage, so he can get the full picture. Carl is reluctant, but Negan reminds him that he killed two of his men and he'd best comply with his requests.
Negan starts going on and on about how damn ugly it is, and he actually makes Carl start to cry. He asks to touch it, and Carl really starts to lose it, and Negan apologizes to him. He tells him that it's easy to forget that Carl is still a kid since he's such a BAMF. His apology actually sounded sincere, too.
A knock at the door interrupts the moment, and Fat Joey enters bearing Lucille, as Negan left her out by the truck. A fact that shocks Negan, as he never leaves her behind. He then tells Carl that he should show off that eye because no one will fuck with him looking like that.
Now he asks Carl what he likes to do for fun and if he likes music. He tells Carl he wants him to sing him a song. Carl is taken aback by that, but Negan tells him it's recompense for killing two of his men. Seems like you're getting off easy if that's all he's looking for, Carl; take the deal.
Carl stars singing "You Are My Sunshine" because Negan asked what his mom used to sing to him. As Carl is trying to belt the tune out through his shaky voice, Negan is taking practice swings with Lucille.
Negan tells Carl that being sung to is the only thing in the world Lucille loves as much as bashing brains. Negan asks Carl if his mom used to sing that to him, and when Carl answers in the affirmative, he asks where Carl's mom is now. Carl's reaction is all Negan needs to understand that she is dead.
When he asks if Carl saw it happen, Carl tells him that he shot her. To which Negan replies, "Damn, no wonder you're a little serial killer in the making."
I still think this lunatic is, like, the sexiest character on television WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME OH MY GOD SOMEBODY PLEASE SEND HELP!
Negan tells Carl that it's ready, so it's time to go. Carl asks him what's ready, and he replies ominously, "The iron." Oh sure, a little casual branding for my Sunday night enjoyment. Looking forward to it.
Negan is nothing if not theatrical. He definitely knows how to put on a good show for his people. The worst part about it is that he enjoys it. Thoroughly. And he's GOOD at it.
I imagine that fella tied up in a chair in the middle of a cult-y congregation is Amber's secret lover Mark.
Negan is on some serious tirade about rules and how they're the only thing that keeps them alive and brings them back to civilization. Mark is about to pee his pants, no doubt about it. But I'm beginning to understand what the iron is, I think. Pretty sure this is what happened to Dwight's face.
Dwight pulls a piping hot, old school iron (like, one actually made from iron) from the coals of a raging fire, and Negan presses it to Mark's lovely face while Amber sobs in the background. When Negan pulls it away, it comes with a grotesquely melted layer of skin. Oh, and there it went. Mark did pee himself. Poor fella. Negan makes Daryl clean it up.
Negan calls a doctor to start working on Mark's face, because, as I said earlier, Negan is benevolent.
I do not understand why these people don't revolt against him. They outnumber him by the hundreds, it appears, but he is such an absolute psychopath that he's managed to scare them all into submission.
Spencer is trying to lasso the crossbow from the perched walker and ends up bringing down the entire stand. The walker dies on impact, though, and Spencer is able to get a couple of things out of his pockets.
Rosita and Eugene have reached their destination, which is the small factory in which they had planned to manufacture bullets. Eugene told Rosita he'd make her one for the gun she still has, but he's had a changed of heart and is refusing now.
Rosita rips him a new one, though, and tells him that he needs to make himself useful for once because the only reason he is still alive is because he lied and people feel sorry for him. It's time to stop being a coward and pull his weight.
He gets to work with tears in his eyes and his (mullet) tail between his legs.
Dwight finds his former wife smoking a cig in a stairwell, and I'm certain no good can come from this. She lights him up a smoke, and I hope for both their sakes that no funny business goes on here.
She asks him how he sleeps at night, and he tells her he doesn't. She tells him that the choice they made was only supposed to affect them, but he tells her that the fact that anyone is still standing means it's because they're standing on the backs of someone else.
Carl asks Negan if he can put his bandage back on yet, but Negan says no -- he likes to look at it.
Carl then asks why Negan hasn't killed him -- or Rick or Daryl. Negan tells him that Daryl will make a great soldier soon enough, and Rick gets him great stuff, but Carl ... well, we shall see.
Negan tells Carl he's a smart kid, and he knows he can't let him go, so what next? Iron to the face? Arm chopped off? Carl tells Negan he should jump out the window to save Carl the trouble of killing him. If Negan were smart, he would have killed them all, but he knows nothing.
Then Negan tells Carl they're going for a ride. Bye Carl, nice knowing you.
Oh hey, there's Jesus! Jesus is on top of Negan's truck -- oh wait, no he's not! Negan called Daryl over to tell him that he's taking Carl home, and, in that time, Jesus has (I assume) entered the truck. Daryl threatens Negan if he hurts Carl, so Negan tells Dwight to put Daryl back in his box for a timeout.
When he's in the box, he gets a note with a key attached to it that simply says, "Go now." I gotta assume this is from Dwight's former wife. What IS her name?!
Okay, so now some chick that I do not recognize comes to a road block of walkers that Michonne has set up in her honor. As the lady gets out of her car and approaches the blockade, Michonne creeps up on her and holds her katana to her cheek. Michonne then instructs Ginger to take her to Negan while Michonne rides shotty with Ginger at gunpoint. Ginger tries to throw Michonne off, but lol, c'mon. It's Michonne. Ginger never stood a chance.
Negan comes strolling into Olivia's house in Alexandria where the guns and supplies are stored with Carl. He asks to see Rick and Olivia tells him that Rick is out looking for supplies, and he may not be back for a while. When she tells him that they're practically starving, he laughs, because Olivia is a bit voluptuous, and he's dubious that she's actually starving.
She starts crying, and then he feels bad and, to make up for it, offers to screw her brains out. I guess he assumes nobody is banging her, so he's offering up his, ahem, services.
She slaps him, and he tells her that he's 50% more into her now. Then he sends her off and tells her to make him some of that good powdered lemonade.
Carl is tasked with taking Negan on the grand tour of Alexandria, but he tries to avoid showing him to Judith's room. Negan is tickled by the baby, though, so, of course, my first thought is that he's definitely going to take Judith and keep her. Oh god. That would kill Carl. But maybe it would actually push Rick into some sort of action?
I hate to sound callous, but he needs a really good slap across the face to bring him back to reality and make him woman up.
We're back with Aaron and Rick, and they come upon a sign with a ton of writing on it. The sign tells them that the only way they have possibly made it this far without being shot is that the owner is dead, which emboldens them to explore.
They come upon a little pond filled with walkers protecting his supplies. An actual walker moat. I dig it. And they are crossing it, no questions asked.
We're back with Rosita and Eugene, and she tries to apologize but Eugene knows that she meant it. As they're starting to make their way back home, Spencer drives up with a car full of supplies. The perched walker had a list of supply stashes in Latin in his pocket, and Spencer cleaned him out.
We shoot back to Carl and Negan with Judith sleeping peacefully on Negan's lap. Then he tells Carl that maybe he was right ... maybe he should just kill him and Rick and be done with them. Bury them together in the flower beds and move himself into the suburbs. And, that's it. End scene!
So, last week I straight up called that Negan was going to want to move into Alexandria. A factory is nice, or whatever, but it lacks that homey feel that the houses in Alexandria offer. Can't blame the dude for wanting to nest.
Until next week, Deadheads!