Well, not hard, but if it’s not mutual, at least one of you may have a difficult time letting go. Just look at Alex and Piper from Orange is the New Black, they clearly love each other, but every time Piper goes off on some mission, Alex is left to pick up the peices of her broken heart.

Speaking from experience, there is no glue strong enough to fix that.

Falling in love can be absolutely wonderful, but falling out of love and breaking up is hard to do. While there aren’t any cure-alls for a broken heart or a shattered spirit, there is plenty of friendly advice I can pass along (and promptly not act on myself).

Get Back into Your Hobbies

Hobbies are absolutely essential. Get out of the habit of thinking about someone else and think about you. Do what makes you happy. Write, go on walks, watch YouTube videos or Netflix, go to weekly karaoke sessions. Even if you don’t leave your house, you can do plenty of things that divert your attention and make you smile. Don’t let your breaking up with someone keep you from being true to yourself.

Text Your Friends

Seriously, do this. Even if you have nothing profound to say. They are your friends for a reason. They will understand and want to help. Text them, call them, set up outtings. Get in touch with the people who love you no matter what. Some of them have experience with breaking up, too, and can be a good shoulder to cry on.

Start a Journal

While this may seem contradictory to what I’ve said so far, hear me out. Journal everything. Everything you’re feeling about the break up (or break ups), everything you feel about your ex. You can even make them into letters that they will never ever read. Pour out every piece of frustration, every piece of anger, every piece of longing; all the what-ifs and hopeful reunions and tearful goodbyes. Bottling things up isn’t healthy, so write them down instead!

Turn Date Night Into Friend Night

All those Fridays you spent in a fancy restaurant or cuddling in front of a Netflix movie? Flip them! Don’t let breaking up with someone put barriers between you and good food/activities! Call up those friends you’ve been texting all week and invite them over. Throw a dinner and Netflix party, go out to dinner, turn that date-night-only restaurant into a new friend favorite. It will sting for a while, but the more happy memories you make with your friends, the fewer times you will spend remembering those old date nights.

Breathe

Super simple but super important. Whether it’s just a few deep breathes in the line at the bank or a full meditation session (I love these, by the way) do not forget to breathe. With every inhale, remind yourself that you have to live for you, and anyone else comes second. You are what is most important. Please do not forget to love yourself. 

While Disney movies and romantic comedies are great to watch, they do not always give the best advice about love. How often does a street rat charm a princess? When would a poor country girl think to throw apples at a rider wearing a purple velvet cape? Don’t get me wrong, I love these movies. They make me smile when the real world doesn’t feel too amazing. But we have to watch these movies with a grain of salt.

Don’t forget how they make you feel, but don’t forget to take care of yourself. Be your own glue. Be your own anchor.

You are important.