What a week for Carmilla, and I’m not just referring to the fact that the show celebrated its one year anniversary.

“Wild Kingdom” was a nice change of pace and a return to the comedic side of the show, following the intensity from “Prisoner’s Dilemma” and “Compulsory Violence.” Since last time, it seems that the resident humans and vampires have effectively settled into a weird rhythm, which Laura humorously narrates Animal Planet documentary style.

Laura shows us that the vampires are stuck inside the secret passage for most of the day, with occasional chances of freedom to stretch, have some cookies while binge-watching Orange is the New Black, and return to their hideout after getting their regular meal of blood bags (compliments of LaFontaine, of course).

With the vampires away, naturally the vampire attacks on campus have gone down and (for those Silas students who are 100% human) Laura gets to enjoy the glories of university and deal with her second semester of classes. Apparently, Chair Vordernberg has revamped the school’s curriculum to something that seems to belong in a warring country during Medieval times (because, in my opinion, Siege Tactics do not equate to a Philosophy elective.)

During Laura’s explanation, we hear occasional knocking on the trap door from the vampires, who are probably not too pleased with being stuck there for hours on end or just want to find out what happens next in OITNB (both are very valid).

Before Laura can get any studying done to appease the Vordenberg-approved new faculty that are getting right to midterms, Danny surprises Laura by knocking and coming in with a box of fresh apples.

Turns out that Danny’s visit wasn’t under any Vordenberg suspicious henchperson business. Danny reveals that since the Summer Society has essentially kicked her out and there’s no way she’d peacefully last with the Zetas, she has nowhere else to go. Danny’s initial happiness and optimism at Vordenberg’s changes seems to have gone with her questioning the Board Chair’s new faculty members and recruitment of the same village mob that chased Laura, Carmilla, LaFontaine, and Perry during the Christmas special. Danny is also concerned that things are now awkward between her and the tiny journalist.

Laura explains that she appreciates that Danny was fighting for what she believed in and, before they could get too much into their moment, impatient vampire knocking occurs (probably Carmilla *cough cough*) and LaFontaine rushes in to explain that the Anglerfish Protesters are being taken away from the crater and are being hurt in the process…Which brings us to “Hunger Games.”

We pick up with Laura and the ginger squad of Perry, LaFontaine, and Danny all sitting around getting updated by the resident Mad Scientist of the current situation.

Turns out that the Zetas and the mob have been taking away the protesters because the creepy worship humming around the Lustig Crater is no longer acceptable. When the others note how the dispersion of the protesters makes things less creepy, LaFontaine immediately interjects with info about how the protesters are meditating to soothe Lophii’s suffering. (Creepy but probably residual mind control from almost getting sacrificed…which could be problematic in the future as well.)

Other than LaFontaine’s tidbit of info, it turns out the protesters who were taken away began seizing and those who were still by the crater started ranting and raving about Seven Gates, a Dead Man in the Shadows, and being crow food.

The group realizes that Mattie’s cooperation with Corvae Corporation was not the end of crater issues, but now they need answers as to what is so valuable about the trapped anglerfish demigod. Luckily for the gang, they can consult their own source of Zeta information, since the fraternity is in charge of patrolling the crater.

Unfortunately for Laura and Danny, Kirsch’s knowledge is severely limited due to his role of just keeping watch over the crater.

Before any other information can be deciphered, Theo bursts through the doors to stop Kirsch. Theo is well aware of their intentions to try to get information from Kirsch, which Danny defends is in her right as a leader of the student forces. Although Danny tries to defend herself on not trying to exploit Kirsch for information, Theo (rudely) interjects by pointing out to Kirsch that he’s being used for information and that Danny doesn’t even like him.

Kirsch is too sweet, but doesn’t even take offense to the constant reference to his intelligence (or lack thereof in Theo’s opinion) and admits that if Laura and Danny wanted information, they’d probably be better off asking someone smarter. Theo reaches his limit when Kirsch doesn’t seem to be too upset and just drags the human puppy incarnate away…leaving our heroes with only one last source of information.

We see that the vampires are back aboveground for what seems to be an exchange: They will provide some blood (compliments of B Positive blood bags) if they get some answers. Things seem slightly off with JP being extremely twitchy with displeased Mattie and Carmilla, while Laura, Danny, and LaFontaine try to maintain control in the situation. Although JP is innocent, they can’t take chances because all of the vampires are pretty hungry at this point.

Mattie (and seemingly the others) dismiss JP’s constant concerns for hunger, and the older vampire admits that she has no idea what Vordenberg is up to (then again, does he even know what century is truly is?) She doesn’t reveal what she was up to with Corvae and things are getting difficult with JP still complaining and Carmilla’s disinterest in participating in another round of being starved out for information (Which did not go well at all for her last time…)

Just as Danny and Carmilla were about to get into another debate about Carmilla’s ethics and choice to withhold information that could help a lot of people, JP actually roars and attacks LaFontaine so fast that the rest of the group doesn’t even have time to react.

Just wow at this week’s variety of emotions from these two episodes of Carmilla.

Just a couple things to consider while enjoying some cookies ’til next week:

What is Vordenberg really up to with all this nonsense about recruiting a formerly angry mob and a fraternity at the Anglerfish crater? More importantly, what in the world are those protesters talking about? (Because the only thing I could possibly interpret is the possible involvement of the Dean with being crow food)

Is Danny going to be okay in the future when everything inevitably hits the fan?

Why is everyone so mean to Kirsch and how is possible for him to be so sweet about it all?

What consequences will JP’s attack have on the group? (Just curious to see if anything affects LaF in particular with that random Lophi fact)

Even though I think Mattie is innocent, what is the actual purpose of her team up with Corvae?

And of course, WHERE ON EARTH WAS PERRY DURING THIS ENTIRE DEBACLE?!

‘Til next time, creampuffs, avoid withholding blood from hungry vampires.