Oh boy.

Those of us who follow the Dilbert comics in our local papers know just how vocal creator Scott Adams can get about the gender controversy and the great American Matriarchy.

Did anyone else know we’re now living in a matriarchy? It’s news to me, too.

Courtesy of AV Club

When I go to dinner, I expect the server to take my date’s order first. I expect the server to deliver her meal first. I expect to pay the check. I expect to be the designated driver, or at least manage the transportation for the evening. And on the way out, I will hold the door for her, then open the door to the car.

When we get home, access to sex is strictly controlled by the woman. If the woman has additional preferences in terms of temperature, beverages, and whatnot, the man generally complies. If I fall in love and want to propose, I am expected to do so on my knees, to set the tone for the rest of the marriage.

Apparently, he has it all figured out, right down to the terms of consent and servitude. Apart from his lack of ability to think about the social sacrifices he has to make (paying the bill is nice and all, but thinking about someone’s else’s comfort is not too hard…), he seems to have it all planned. But he doesn’t stop there. He’s also an expert about workplace protocol.

I won’t reopen the discussion of gender pay imbalance in this post. I’ll just summarize by saying that well-informed feminists don’t see much gender discrimination in the data. So if you think women in the United States are paid less for the same work, please take it up with well-informed feminists. I’m just reporting what they say.

If this is what we say, then we should be fine to talk about it, right? Nope, because Adams thinks we’re too vocal about it.

That’s right, girls and gals: we’re making too much noise about our own roles, or lack thereof, at work.

Women have made an issue of the fact that men talk over women in meetings. In my experience, that’s true. But for full context, I interrupt anyone who talks too long without adding enough value. If most of my victims turn out to be women, I am still assumed to be the problem in this situation, not the talkers. The alternative interpretation of the situation – that women are more verbal than men – is never discussed as a contributing factor to interruptions. Can you imagine a situation where – on average – the people who talk the most do NOT get interrupted the most? I don’t know if the amount of talking each person does is related to the amount of interrupting they experience, or if there is a gender difference to it, but it seems like a reasonable hypothesis. My point is that men are assumed guilty in this country. We don’t even explore their alibis. (And watch the reaction to even bringing up the topic.)

Pardon me, Mr. Adams, but if you don’t want us to bring it up, then why are YOU? Are women not allowed to be concerned about our status, either at work or at home?

But wait, it gets better.

Lonely boys tend to be suicidal when the odds of future female companionship are low.

So if you are wondering how men become cold-blooded killers, it isn’t religion that is doing it. If you put me in that situation, I can say with confidence I would sign up for suicide bomb duty. And I’m not even a believer. Men like hugging better than they like killing. But if you take away my access to hugging, I will probably start killing, just to feel something. I’m designed that way. I’m a normal boy. And I make no apology for it.

[…] Now consider the controversy over the Syrian immigrants. The photos show mostly men of fighting age. No one cares about adult men, so a 1% chance of a hidden terrorist in the group – who might someday kill women and children – is unacceptable. I have twice blogged on the idea of siphoning out the women and small kids from the Caliphate and leaving millions of innocent adult men to suffer and die. I don’t recall anyone complaining about leaving millions of innocent adult males to horrible suffering. In this country, any solution to a problem that involves killing millions of adult men is automatically on the table.

Hold up, ladies. Better stomp down that independence and board up those roads to success. Apparently, our desire to have a career and a life instead of a man is breeding killers. If men can’t give you a hug, they’ll pick up a gun. That totally makes sense.

Courtesy of Roadie

While I do find Dilbert generally funny, sometimes Adams goes too far for me.

What do you think, PopStars?