Bec Heim Content Editor
Hello my fellow Gleeks! This week on Glee it’s all about the feuds. Also accompanying the feuds is confirmations on a variety of topics ranging from Rachel’s pregnancy to what is it that Brody really does to Finn’s dream. So cue up some 90’s boy bands and put on your tiara because we are going to recap this!
RACHEL IS NOT PREGNANT!!!!: …Title speaks volumes. Rachel is not pregnant let’s rejoice! Because no one wanted to see a pregnant, hormonal Rachel. However, Santana does give the girl good advice. Rachel should stop worrying about relationships and focus on her dreams instead. Honestly Rachel don’t let men define you.
Santana’s Mexican Third Eye Knows All: It truly does. She stills smells a rat (or burnt plastic) where one Brody Weston is concerned. Turns out he’s not a drug dealer. Nope Brody is a male prostitute/hooker/manwhore/interest name of your choice in order to make money. Which you know the fandom called out episodes ago. Anyway she keeps trying to prove to Kurt and Rachel that something is up with Mister Weston. However, Rachel and Kurt have had enough of her accusations and kicked her out. Still though she turns out to be right and calls in some back-up.
Finn Kicks Brody’s Ass: Title speaks all. And Finn looked so goddamn hot doing it too. The future wife line was a little bit creepy I admit. However, he was dressed all in black. He looked amazingly sexy. And seriously guys this was really, really hot. I love how Cory Monteith can go from giant puppy to kick your ass in several seconds.
FEUDS: This week’s assignment at McKinley High was all about the musical feuds (and some unresolved sexual tension…shut up! You guys felt it too!)
Will vs Finn Who Will Winn?: Will is still epically pissed at Finn for kissing Emma. Which you know makes sense. Kind of. Dude worse things have happen with adults and members of New Directions in the past. Just be thankful Finn didn’t get her pregnant. Anyways, Will’s anger truly knows no boundaries and he’s hurting at Finn breaking his trust like that. Will says some things to Finn that he’s properly going to regret in the future. Finn realizes that they cannot have glee club harmony with him there. So he packs up to leave.
When Marley Rose Tells You to Grow Some Balls It’s Bad: Marley comes to thank Finn for being so great with her and helping her through post Sectionals. She also gives Finn a much needed pep talk. She also FINALLY says what we’ve been thinking since season three: Finn needs to become a teacher (right after he kicks Brody’s ass).
Ryder Screws Up A Lot: Yeah it’s not a good week for Ryder. First, he shows some transphobic tendencies toward Unique. He’s also screwed up his friendships with Marley and Jake post kiss (they reestablish themselves as a couple). Finally, he asks a girl he met on the Internet who he barely knows if she wants to meet face to face. Ryder’s not making very good life choices this week. However, on a slight sad yet positive note Unique’s struggles as a transgender teenager in Ohio are played beautifully here. Her harassment, her anger at Ryder refusal to accept her and how scared she feels was just amazing beautiful to watch. I am totally with Glee if they want to continue this storyline and continue to do such a great job with it. Also is it just me or is anyone else hoping that Unique is secretly Ryder’s online love interest? Now that would be awesome. Oh yeah and Ryder made up with everyone. New-New Directions had a big group hug and Kitty grew a soul thanks to the healing power of Puck’s penis.
Blaine Warbler Is Now Blaine Cheerio: Sue brings up contractual obligations for Blaine Anderson (along with the fact that Glee’s timeline continues to be really eff’d up here no way “Swan Song” took place over the course of a day). Blaine has to perform with the Cheerios and Sue is not above blackmailing him to do it. We also found out who tops in Klaine (go Kurt!). Also if you replaced Blaine’s hair gel with cement nothing changes. Blaine loses their feud duel. However, it may be on purpose as Blam seems to have nefarious plans involving Sue Sylvester. (Also can we talk about Darren’s ass in those Cheerios pants? Cause I feel like we need to guys.)
Favorite Moments/Random Thoughts
I love the opening background music.
OhmyGod Will you have passive aggressive tendencies are amazing.
Seriously best background music ever. It feels epic.
RACHEL IS NOT PREGNANT!!!!!! LET’S PARTY!
So in NYC we get random musical numbers and dancing in hotel rooms?
Time in the glee universe is weird as all fuck.
Becky all of the young women of America wishes they could be you right now
PROPER GENDER PRONOUNS!! USE THEM PEOPLE! SERIOUSLY!
Is it just me or does anyone else feels heaps of super aggressive sexual tension between Will and Finn? …Just me?
Santana you are speaking the truth. Cater waiters do not get paid that much.
You mean your hair wasn’t cemented to your head before Blaine?
Are Jake and Marley having a real relationship discussion? Here on glee? Wow.
Ryder can drum? The Finn comparisons just grow.
Also anyone else feeling sexual tension between Ryder and Unique? Maybe it’s the whole feud week thing but I definitely feel passion here. Also wouldn’t it be a great plot twist if Unique was who Ryder was talking to?
Yeah I’m with Jake. Dick move, Ryder.
Cassie? Is she here? I would love to see her and Santana in the same room.
Santana I love you.
Brody please don’t insult Santana Lopez she’s amazing.
NYADA: Showing How to Break Out Into Spontaneously Perfect Choreographed Numbers
BOY BAND FEUD I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU FOR YEARS!!!!!! I think I am having a fangasm guys!!!! Anyone else?!?!?!
Wait…did that fighting/hugging stuff just happen? I’m confused here.
“My breasts ache with rage.” –Santana Lopez
Technically Rachel Santana was there first. She’s known you two longer.
CORRECT GENDER PRONOUNS PEOPLE!!! USE THEM!!! Unique IS a girl. OhmyGod are you all stupid?!?!
I wonder if Blaine got the cement out of his hair.
No one is allowed to make fun of Will’s rapping ever again!
Sue does know theatricality.
Awww Marley being utterly sweet! And giving him a kick in the ass!
Unique! Oh my heart…it’s breaking.
Kitty’s actually grown a soul! Clearly Puck sleeping with her is helping with this.
Wasn’t Brittany captain? Or did I hallucinate that?
Darren’s butt looks amazing in those pants.
HA! GO SANTANA!!! Never mess with the Mexican Third Eye!
I just started laughing evilly when Finn appeared.
Holy shit that was such a hot fight!
Finn don’t call her your future wife baby. You two aren’t even together right now.
I love these closing numbers this season. Also Tina’s dress I want it!
Oh dude you don’t know who that girl is for real.
“How to Be a Heartbreaker” sung by Brody Weston and Rachel Berry: This performance was gorgeously shot. It also had a ton of fun dancing to watch. I could have watched all that dancing all. night. long. Seriously guys it was that gorgeous to watch from start to finish. It was like eye candy. However, the ear candy was just kind of blah and my fellow PopWrapped staff members agree with me on this. So I’m grading this in two ways. Performance:
“The Bitch Is Back/Dress You Up” sung by Ryder Lynn and Unique Adams: This song had great energy. Though seriously someone needs to give Unique a makeover. The girl is allowed to look cute. Blake Jenner and Alex Newell have great chemistry together. Plus the tiaras were just a great touch as was Ryder drumming. It was very fun to watch.
“Cold-Hearted” sung by Santana Lopez: I hope Lea Michele was taking notes because THAT is how you dance sexy as all hell on tables. I normally don’t like Paula Abdul but Naya Rivera’s cover made me love this song. She shows her true skills as a performer he. Seriously she wasted not one second of screen time. It’s just gorgeous from start to finish. And this is why Santana is our queen. Long live the queen.
“Bye, Bye, Bye/I Want It That Way” sung by Will Schuester and Finn Hudson: Behold the other most homoerotically charged mash-up that Glee has ever produced. Matthew Morrison shows us that his talents are honestly wasted. I mean did you see all that amazing dancing? Plus his singing? Plus he looked amazing while doing it. Cory Monteith struggled with some of the notes but his boy next door charm and charisma made me forgive. He also at least learned to cover up his dancing. Both of them sounded AMAZING together. Seriously I want another Finn/Will duet in the future because they both compliment each other really well. Also it’s a 90’s boyband mash-up. The girls of New Directions had the right reactions. How can we not love this?
“I Still Believe/Super Bass” sung by Blaine Anderson and Sue Sylvester: No one is ever allowed to complain about Will’s rapping again. However, this mash-up was odd. Mariah Carey and Nicki Minaj just can’t be mashed up. However, it’s still hilarious. Jane Lynch always commits when she gets a chance to shine and her commitment makes this hilarious. However, I think we can tack this onto our guilty pleasure songs for Glee.
“Closer” sung by Ryder Lynn and Jake Puckerman: Seriously I am kind of loving these random endings. I just love how it’s like a free for all in the auditorium at the end of every episode. Honestly? I prefer seeing the teens of McKinley High act like how me and my friends acted (and still act). You dance like dorks to music you like and sing along. It makes them seem like real friends and it’s definitely fun. Also whenever Glee covers artists like Tegan and Sara who need more recognition it makes me happy.
Alright guys that’s it for me! Tune in next week when Glee reveals their guilty pleasures. (And oh they are the guiltiest.) Also more of Darren’s butt in the Cheerio’s uniform.