Bec Heim Staff Writer
Hey Glee fans!
So last week Glee got naked in a bunch of different (mainly sexy) ways. So get your fondue pots bubbling and cue up someone’s really pretentious student film about their grandmother and let’s get down to business. We’re breaking down the plots, the favorite moments, and the songs!
Rachel’s Student Film: Rachel is cast as the lead in a student film that sounds very odd but is something I would not mind seeing if only for the sheer hilarity value. However, there is a catch: she needs to let the girls fly free. This sends Rachel into some sort of bizarre mental breakdown/existential crisis where Old!Rachel appears and only serves to make me miss Old!Rachel more. Kurt calls in reinforcements in the form of Santana Lopez and Quinn Fabray, who have more like extended cameos then an actual part, but they help with Rachel’s doubts over the topless scene. When it comes time for the big moment, after making the crew strip (and the revelation that NYADA does not just have freakishly good looking people there) in a less sexy scene, she decides that no she doesn’t want to do it. It was a decent plot and it felt like Rachel had a somewhat legit conflict which is good to see because she hasn’t really had one this season.
Kurt Is Not Happy: Kurt had one scene this episode and was mentioned by Santana. I think he’s regretting turning Old!Rachel into New!Rachel via makeover/song sequence. Also he does not look thrilled with the arrangement of Brody living there. Despite Brody having a rocking body (and not much else) this is something I agree with, seriously dude if you’re going to parade around buck ass naked then at least bring a towel to sit on for hygiene purposes.
Men of McKinley Calendar: So besides wishing very, very hard that this was available for purchase in real life. The calendar comes to be when the steroid allegations come to light and prove to be true. Since Sugar disappears and reappears in New Directions they can’t use her money to get to Regionals. This means fundraising without using pot laced cupcakes!
Sam Needs a Hug (and a Bacon Cheeseburger): Sam has gotten character development! Yay! Poor Sam Evans, he got the lowest score on his SATs in the whole school (so Sam having dyslexia is over now?) and is having a crisis. Thinking that his body is the only thing that people like him for (aww you don’t put much stock in yourself), he pushes himself and the New Direction guys to a near breaking point for this calendar. Blaine (dealing with Tina and her very, very creepy infatuation with him) is an awesome friend and helps Sam find colleges that don’t look at SAT scores and scholarships to help pay for college. When that doesn’t work, Blaine somehow gets New Directions to make an extremely touching video about how awesome Sam is that ends with a very tender bro-hug between Blaine and Sam.
Artie Doesn’t Want to Be Naked: Artie doesn’t want to strip for the calendar due to wheelchair related issues. Plus some guys don’t want to strip and that’s totally cool. After a very real and private talk with Finn along with another talk with Sam, Artie does the calendar in costume. Sam joins him in covering up solidarity.
Jarley 4Eva Guys!: Jake and Marley are having issues in their new relationship that can’t be solved entirely by song. Marley lets Brittany get into her head about her new relationship with Jake. She even chucks aside that whole speech last week about not moving too fast in the relationship. Because now Jarley needs to profess their love for each other after like what a solid five minutes of being a couple? Granted I do understand that things move fast in high school relationships but still it hasn’t been THAT long since I was in high school! Do people say “I love you” that quickly now? Also apparently New Directions are still mad at Marley for her fainting at Sectionals FROM HER EATING DISORDER! Do they not know about this? Because if so, this just makes them not nice people. However, that aside, they exchange “I love you” in a very adorable way.
Finn Wins: This whole episode Finn just wins at life or, if not that, he wins against Sue Sylvester, which is just as good. He calls her out on her outrageous story of posing for Penthouse when she starts in on the calendar (which was deliciously awesome). He then sets on tracking down said picture. When he couldn’t find one, Finn Hudson actually pulls one over on Sue Freaking Sylvester (which is glorious!). On top of this, he comforts Artie and Sam with some very heartfelt words of encouragement. So…when is Finn Hudson going to become Mister Hudson, the teacher for real? Because I am loving this!
That opening sequence with Hunter attacking a reporter and then back to the reporters where one has the breakdown?! Seriously this is how you guys do meta glee! Good job!
“Those Twlight books are poop on paper and we’ve turned them into a billion dollar industry.”
Unique gives sassy hands up gesture.
Joe gives her a high five utterly oblivious to what that means. (Joe needs more hilarious background scenes.)
…Brittany got a 2340 on her SATS…There’s suspension of disbelief and then there is that.
Fondue for Two makes it triumphant return! And Lord Tubbington can use the computer huh…that cat is going to rule the world.
Sam walking in with that Ferris Bueller music in the background.
Yeah I’m with Sam here no one wants to see “a back that looks like Chewbacca’s ass”.
Kurt’s face when he realized Brody was sitting bare ass naked on the chair in the kitchen.
Finn is going to be an awesome teacher.
Ryder and Jake’s bromance is the most epic of bromances ever.
Brad is gone. Where is he? Nobody knows.
Joe being entirely serious in his bunny ears: “I’m just as God made me.”
Finn getting one over on Sue Sylvester is amazing especially the look on her face.
Blam continues to be a super epic bromance.
The video about Sam’s sheer awesomeness is something truly amazing and I love it. Also the return of Trouty Mouth!
Joe dreads whipping wins at life.
“Torn” sung by Rachel Berry and Rachel Berry: Well…Rachel has found the perfect duet partner. Herself. Honestly I’m surprised we haven’t had her duet with herself earlier. However, seeing the Old!Rachel made me miss her even more. It just kind of drove home how the New!Rachel is just Lea Michele inserted into glee. It was good but I don’t think it was her best song. However, it was beautifully shot and I loved the switching between Old and New Rachel. However, it didn’t really feel like anything was being accomplished and was just a double dose of Rachel.
“Hot in Herre/Centerfold” sung by Sam, Kitty, Ryder, New Direction Boys and some Cheerios: Okay so this may be my newfound love of hilarious mash-ups coupled with watching hot guys working out that started with this episode. But this was awesome! It was a very silly number but it showed some gorgeous eye candy during it. The choreography just featured the guys lifting stuff, which I can get behind (and would like to see more of please).Plus it looks like it was a ball to shoot on set. So for sheer hilarity and energy, this song is definitely going to be a favorite of mine (though maybe not of others).
“A Thousand Years” sung by Marley Rose and Jake Puckerman: All I knew about this song was that it was popularized in the latest (and most hilariously awful) Twilight movie. I was not really disposed to liking it. However, the simple and clean vocals from Melissa Benoist and Jacob Artist along with the equally simple yet beautifully shot performance have definitely made this cover something rather beautiful and touching.
“Let Me Love You (Until You Can Love Yourself)” sung by Jack Puckerman: Jacob Artist has very awesome crooner voice. I don’t know the original version of this song. However, the sincerity along with that vocal smoothness was a naked cover (see what I did there?). Plus Marley is learning how to love herself again in story so yeah very appropriate.
“Love Song” sung by Rachel Berry, Quinn Fabray and Santana Lopez: I don’t get why this song was in the episode. Vocally it was a great cover. Lea Michele, Dianna Agron and Naya Rivera sound amazing together and I wish they had more numbers in the past. However, I’m at a loss to say something because I don’t understand why this song exists in this episode.
“This Is the New Year” sung by New Directions: This was just a fun song all around. It had a lot of great moments. Vocally it was full of energy and softness at the same time. It was amazingly shot. It was hilariously done. I think this is one of my favorite group numbers/closing sequences ever.