Hola my Gleeks! Tonight we’ll be watching “Sweet Dreams” a.k.a. the one where I rant a lot about Rachel. Sorry. It’s going to be one of those glee-caps everyone but well…read on and find out why.
Tonight is all about dreams: achieving them, living them, having them. My dream? Well let’s just say it involves better Kurt and Santana storylines in New York.
So grab your falsies, get your iron made grilled cheese and put on some Journey. Because we’re recapping this.
Finn and Puck Go to College: Finn has started school at the University of Lima to get his teaching degree. Yay! Consistent character development! Except it looks like the University of Lima is a total party school. Finn decides that hey you’re only young once so “PARTY!”. Puck, somehow, decides to move in with Finn in his dorm. (Don’t you have to be in college to move in Puck?) Finn embraces the party lifestyle of Lima a bit too hard as he and Puck start doing it continuously. When Will tries to come to make amends with Finn and invite him back to teach, Finn decides not to because he still feels hurt. Puck and Finn then save the campus party frat for ruined reputations when they save their kegger. However, when Finn starts skipping classes and tests…well Puck can’t have that. Puck gives Finn a much-needed kick in the ass about him becoming the best goddamn teacher that he can be. So Finn comes back to help coach/teach glee club with Mister Schue as a partnership and he gets college credit for it too!
Will Gets A Little…: Will really wants New Directions to win Regionals, especially since they got there on a technicality. However, his songs for the theme of “Dreams” are a little well dated. No one in New Directions wants to do them. Plus, as Blaine pointed out, they already performed one. (I don’t see why that should stop them. It hasn’t before.) However, everyone in New Directions has gone a little freaking crazy. Sam has developed a split personality. Brittany is being recruited into MIT. Unique is taking birth control to grow boobs (is that good for her health?). Marley wants them to perform some of her original stuff. After Will blows up at them (making me flashback to my days in choir), they are a little bit hurt and pissed. However, after Will makes amends with Finn and with New Directions, they start working on set list for Regionals with one of Marley’s songs. Poor Will. It’s like the writers love to shit on your character and not have you be a good teacher.
Marley’s Has a Song In Her Heart: What happened in McKinley has given Marley some perspective. So she took out the false bottom of her desk drawer and is ready to share her music with the world. However, I think everyone is flashbacking to the original songs from season two which varied in quality, so they nix the idea. However, after Marley tries to comfort Sam, Blaine and Unique through them singing one of her own songs, she helps Will realize how bad he was treating the kids. I liked this plotline. It grows Marley as a character and just shows us that underneath her shyness she does have a lot of talent.
The Rachel Auditions (Will Be Recapped In a Moment): This is the plotline that makes me mad. It’s also not because of my Rachel Rage as colleagues call it. So before I recap it, I’m just going to explain why. Rachel…hasn’t suffered this season. I don’t want her to get Fanny Brice. She doesn’t deserve it yet. She’s only nineteen. She has one failed audition under her belt that happened off screen. She won the Winter Showcase. She had a hot boyfriend. She slept with Finn with no consequences. She hasn’t suffered in any meaningful way this season. At least not to me and others. She doesn’t deserve to get the role. Not yet. And I have a feeling that’s how this plotline is going to end with her getting the role. But I won’t be rooting for her. I can’t because ultimately her plotline has again been boring. She’s gotten everything. She hasn’t done anything meaningful as a character except get a makeover that looks like she escaped from the set of Jersey Shore. She wants this part. I get it. She wants to be Barbara Streisand. But even Streisand had to be a chorus girl. Rachel needs to work her way up to it. If there was one thing I can say Smash got right, then it was had to do auditions. Sometimes wanting it isn’t enough. Sometimes being as Sue puts “a tiny girl with a big nose and a big voice” isn’t enough to get you the part. I’m fine with her getting the callback. I just don’t want her to get Fanny because if she gets Fanny then it’s kind of like a slap to the face of the process of making it New York. And instead of actually making stories of Rachel truly struggling in the city to fulfill her dreams? We get about how mean Cassie is. We get Rachel singing a Barbara song and winning without really stretching herself as a performer. Neither of those things are real hardship. No instead the writers try to play our nostalgic feels by reminding us that Rachel is an underdog goddammit through her audition song. She’s succeeded too much to be an underdog. So fine have the auditions, have the callbacks but ultimately don’t give her the part. Have her lose it and build herself back up. Okay I’m done. Takethat what you will.
Rachel Wants to Be a Funny Girl: So the open auditions for Funny Girl are happening soon. Rachel is ready to follow in the footsteps of her idol by auditioning. She’s been preparing for this moment her entire life. It’s why she’s memorized every Barbara song ever made. However, with a visit from Shelby (who somehow has regular visits with Rachel even though it’s never mentioned), she is told that doing her usual Barbara impression isn’t going to get her this audition. Instead, Rachel needs to do something that is different and unique. So, in order to validate herself, she calls Finn to talk with him about her audition. Finn, in a very sweet gesture, tells her to do something that means a lot to her. So she goes in and auditions to a classic (which we will talk about in the song section). One bitchy lady doesn’t seem to like it. However, one of the producers does seem to like because she was showing something honest onstage. Rachel, a few days later, is called and told she has a callback. (Like we ever thought otherwise.)
Random Thoughts/Favorite Moments
Hello Harlem Shake. You’re a little out of date aren’t you? I’m still laughing.
Oh. U of Lima is a party school.
YAY PUCK AND FINN!!!!!
Oh. And now I go to my rage place.
YOU ARE NINTEEN YEARS OLD RACHEL! YOU HAVE ONE FAILED AUDITION UNDER YOUR BELT!!!!! THAT HAPPENED OFF SCREEN!
(Now I’m reaching for my glass of wine and wishing I had something harder.)
Listen to Beiste, Will!
Marley is the only sane student in McKinley right now, isn’t she?
Is that birth control thing safe?
How are dreams close to sweaters?
Someone was bound to develop a split personality sooner or later. I just never saw Sam.
That awkward moment when your teacher comes in and you’re shoving bikini tops down your pants.
My college is not like that. Just to tell you.
Will, Unique is a girl. If she wants to have boobs then yeah let her go for it. Those birth control pills are…yeah. I’m not sure how safe those are without it being regulated or something.
Wait Shelby and Rachel have been seeing each other? WHAT THE HELL?!?!?! WHY HAVEN’T WE FREAKING HEARD OF THAT?!?!?!?!
That’s actually really, really smart advice Shelby is giving Rachel. You do have to stand out and do something different for auditioning for shows.
Is this really an appropriate mother-daughter duet? Survey says no.
EEEEEEEE!!!! PUCK AND FINN ARE DOING THE BEASTIE BOYS!!!!!!
Seriously. My college is not like this. Then again we don’t have a Greek System at my school. We usually just hang around. Granted I don’t go a lot of parties.
Snort. Guy making out with the moose.
Unique and Marley are adorable besties.
Marley you are such a nice person.
Seriously? Is this Marley’s first time out? This is waaaay better than “My Headband” or “Hell to the No”. It’s…really, really, really good.
Seriously when did you come back Brad?
Oh and here’s Will’s big realization moment.
“His face has sharp edges.” That made me snort.
RACHEL! STOP DOING THIS!
Why do the glee writers hate opera singing?
I feel nothing right now. Because this is emotional manipulation based on our nostalgia. Also side note when you audition, in my and friend’s experiences, they usually want you to STAND THE FUCK STILL!
You know this is the third time that Rachel has hallucinated this season. She should probably see someone about that.
Oh God she is going to get Fanny ultimately? SHE IS NINETEEN AND NEVER HAD A ROLE ON BROADWAY! SHE HAS TO PAY HER GODDAMN DUES!
Damn right Puck! Listen to him Finn!!!
Oh Becky you feeling guilty right now? REALLY guilty.
Aww. I have Winn feels right now.
Awww this is really, really sweet. I’m having my first legitimate good feelings of the episode.
I love how Kurt is going at the cookie.
Awww New New Directions gets a group number.
“Next to Me” sung by Shelby Cochran and Rachel Berry: This is a really good song. A weird choice for a mother and daughter to sing… However, this was the pair who thought singing “Poker Face” together was a good idea. So I’m not throwing stones. However, Idina Menzel and Lea Michele just compliment each other so well. It’s always vocal perfection when I hear those two sing. I have no complaints when I hear it.
“You Have More Friends Than You” sung by Marley Rose, Blaine Anderson, Unique Adams and Sam Evans: Fun fact. This song was written in support of the It Gets Better project. So you know check it out! Now as a judging of Marley’s songwriting skills (character wise I know she didn’t write it in real life)…It’s a pretty good song. I love these soft quiet types of feel good melodies. I also like songs that let you breathe which is what happens here. It’s as natural as a song can be on Glee. It’s nice. Granted some of the rhyme scheme seems a little bit off. But yeah she has talent.
“Fight For Your Right (To Party)” sung by Finn Hudson and Noah Puckerman: People. I have been waiting SEASONS for this moment. So just let me bask in the glory. It’s a party song. Finn and Puck do it amazingly well. I have been waiting for AGES for a Beastie Boys song to make its way onto Glee and this is standard college party fair. Cory Monteith and Mark Salling’s voices are just made for this kind of song. So it’s good to see a nice matchup both vocally and personality wise occur. I love this so much. I just wish there was more. Plus the guy making out with the moose head. Genius.
“Don’t Stop Believin’ (Rachel Solo Audition Version)” sung by Rachel Berry with backup from Original Members of New Directions: Okay I haven’t seen or heard Rachel having any interactions (outside of Kurt and Finn) with the original members of New Directions. Kurt tells her about texts from Tina but that is pretty much it. So already it makes me feel like this is blatant manipulation over my nostalgic feels. I don’t want to get into this again. Look up to the Plot section for my rant about this or better yet look at the PopWrapped opinion piece that I did for this. She does some strange vocal flourishes from the song. Ultimately though I felt nothing because this song should have been saved for the series finale. Again. Just saying. It’s hard to mess up Journey so it was solid but I felt nothing during it. Lea Michele vocals were good. It was nice to see old members wearing their old costumes. But still has Rachel even talked with Mercedes, Tina or Artie this season? No. So it just frustrates me. Still I will acknowledge that my bias may come into play here.
“Outcast” sung by Marley, Ryder, Jake, Kitty and Unique with Old New Directions: It was nice to see New New Directions get the spotlight together. This song is just fun. Actually I think this may tie with “Loser Like Me” (my all time favorite Glee original song). This is just an acceptance of being an outsider and relishing it. It’s about not caring what people think, like “Loser Like Me”. However, the music is just stellar here. I love floaty quality to “Outcast”. Everyone just sounds great on her. Again it also shows Marley’s songwriting talent because this is a song that I will be humming to myself for quite a while.