That is a gleek diva.
Are you ready, huntees? Because this week we are going to werk it! So grab your Chinese Chicken Soup and make sure that your smoothie isn’t poisoned because it’s time for this week’s glee-cap!
Because you can’t spell Glee without D-I-V-A.
Rachel Gets Served Hummel Pie (Finally): Now I will admit that I really don’t like Rachel this season. It feels like everything has been too easy for her. Plus I think she has been kind of a huge brat. Kurt apparently agrees with me and other fans who feel this way. Rachel has been acting like the bad kind of diva ever since winning the Winter Showcase. By bad I mean the kind of diva that usually is murdered on crime shows by their assistant. Kurt is sick of this attitude (and the fact that Brody still apparently walks around the apartment naked) and reveals a huge secret: he threw the Defying Gravity diva-off in season one. Rachel looks shaken but her army of cheap knock off Kurt sycophants leave her undeterred (Also did Rachel forget she choked on her NYADA audition and basically had stalk Carmen into giving her a second chance?). At the NYADA Midnight Madness, they sing him “Bring Him Home” from Les Miserables and…Kurt wins. That means Rachel loses a diva off, which was apparently “her domain”. Thankfully it knocks her down a few pegs however it throws her into an existential dilemma which Kurt snaps her out of with the talk about the Essence of a True Diva. Still…I think Rachel needed more time to stew because compare her reaction to NYADA fame (evil diva) with Kurt’s reaction to NYADA fame (good diva). There’s a vast difference between them and it’s in maturity and how they would handle stardom.
A Quick Kadam Note: Adam’s back! And he’s as adorable and British as ever. Are these two dating yet? Are they boyfriends? Make it official guys! Plus Adam refused to let Kurt play down his victory and was awesome after Kurt shut down his evil clones.
D-I-V-A Week: Finn isn’t sure that New Directions has what it takes to get what they want at Regionals. (Have you met New!Tina, Kitty, or Unique, Finn? They totally have what it takes.) So he institutes diva week a.k.a. a competition week with guest judge, Emma Pillsbury. Which makes me wonder whatever happened to the mash off competition? I miss it. Also Tina finally wins something in glee club!
Femma? Huh?: Finn kisses Emma Pillsbury. WTF? Okay so Finn has been feeling blue since Rachel shacked up with Brody because he can’t move on from her. Emma is feeling stressed from the wedding planning. She has a breakdown over flower arrangements. Finn kisses her and runs away. It comes right the hell out of nowhere guys. I don’t even know what to say about this.
Blina Gets Creepy: Speaking of things leaving me speechless, Tina’s very strange crush on Blaine is still going on. Also Blaine is sick and Tina takes care of him. My question is why are we still looking at the Blina thing? Tina is getting season one Kurt levels of scary in this episode cumulating in her rubbing Vapo-Rub/molesting an unconscious Blaine while straddling him on his bed. I felt weird during that scene. I mean she does realize that Blaine is gay right? He already had his poorly written sexual identity crisis in season two. Call Mike. It’s clear from your voiceover you miss him. Anyway, after an awkward love confession pre-creepy Vapo-Rub scene Tina realizes that Blaine isn’t going to love her back. So she yells at him, does perhaps her best number on the show and then falls right back in when he asks her to be his date to Mister Schue’s wedding. Sigh. Why does this have to center around a crush? Why can’t this just be an awesome gay guy straight girl friendship? Because when I could pretend Tina wasn’t crushing on Blaine and just being a great friend I liked their scenes.
She’s Santana Goddamn Lopez: Santana Lopez is the biggest diva on the show. Girl knows what she wants and will do anything to get it. However, she’s dropped out of school and is paying her former teammate scratch off lottery tickets to pretend to be her girlfriend. She also thinks it was a huge mistake breaking up with Brittany and she tries to break her and Sam up. However, Sam refuses to back down without a fight. Sue offers Santana a job in Lima but its Brittany who knocks some sense into her. Brittany tells Santana that she is happy with Sam and that Santana should not be in Lima. Why? Because this is Santana Goddamn Lopez and she is too big for the Midwest. SANTANA IS FINALLY IN NEW YORK CITY GUYS!!!
God bless you Kurt. I’ve been saying this all season. It feels good to have acknowledgment.
OHMYGOD BLAINE WHAT DID YOU DO TO ELMO?! Seriously that jacket looks like he’s wearing a Muppet.
Emma is awesome and “trick ass ho” is super awesome.
Snap Unique using a RuPaul Drag Race reference. (Now let’s get Ru on Glee!!)
Curls alert! There’s Darren’s natural hair!
Kurt reading Rachel the riot act and the revelation of him throwing the diva-off.
Blaine’s outfit in Don’t Stop Me Now.
Santana is working that Cardinals cheerleading uniform. (And this is how a diva works guys!)
Tina’s face when Santana comes through the door.
Okay so is there like band bat-signal in the sky? One of the glee members lights it and they’re there? Otherwise how would they just appear for Santana and Sam’s duet?
Tina should totally call Mike!
“I kissed Rachel Berry.”
“That doesn’t count.”
God Tina this is the most awkward love confession I have ever witnessed in my life.
“Blood sport?” Wow. NYADA is kind of extremely frightening.
Side note: I was thrilled to see Naya Rivera’s M&M commercial on during the show.
Wow! It looks like eighties fashion threw up during Tina’s number! In the best way possible!!!
Adam is back!
Kurt standing up to the bitchy ass kissing NYADA students is awesome.
Tina winning the diva off! Finally after three years!
Kurt proves again that is much better person out of him and Rachel when he comforts her.
Brittany proves that she has the highest social I.Q. on the entire show.
SANTANA IS FINALLY IN NEW YORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
“Diva” sung by Unique, Brittany and Tina with New Directions Girls (and Blaine): This song is a good opening song. However, with all the rest of the songs that follow it being so amazing it’s a pretty weak song. Although Alex Wade totally wins this song because his voice was just flawless. The costumes were over the top but that’s all I remember of it outside of Unique’s vocals.
“Don’t Stop Me Now” sung by Blaine Anderson: Blaine was either channeling Freddie Mercury or the leather guy from the Village People this week. Still it was a blast to watch. I like it when we see Blaine nerd it up. Plus it’s always great to see Darren show off his talents as a performer. It was a strong song and delightfully flamboyant. Still though it suffered what “Diva” did in getting overshadowed by other performances. It was still a blast though.
“Nutbush City Limits” sung by Santana Lopez and the University of Louisville Cardinals cheerleaders: This was definitely the build to sheer awesomeness of the songs that she would sing in this episode. It was fun and sexy and very diva. Though I think we needed a bit of Mercedes for this Tina and Ike Turner song. Still Naya Rivera’s voice was great and the performance was fun.
“Make No Mistake (She’s Mine)” sung by Sam Evans and Santana Lopez: The song-fight Brittana and Bram fans have been waiting for. And it’s a Streisand song? Huh. Santana should get more Streisand because she sounds really good with it. It’s not what I was expecting this very slow and moving song. I was expecting something a little more…angrier and fiery. However, Chord Overstreet and Naya Rivera brought their A game and it was so beautifully performed and shot. It exceeded expectations.
“Bring Him Home” sung by Kurt Hummel and Rachel Berry: Okay for this song I’m going to be giving three grades. One for the performance on the episode and one each solo version to make it fair. Now here’s a little fun fact, they had to take up the song a few octaves because it’s written for a tenor which Lea Michele is not. However, not only did Chris Colfer rise up to this challenge he exceeded it. When I first heard the solo version for Kurt, I teared up because it just took my breath away in this beautiful, slow moving piece. While when I heard the solo version for Rachel, I thought it was beautiful don’t get me wrong but it just sounded like another Rachel song. It sounded like something I’ve heard from her while Kurt’s version sounded a little more raw and real. Now how it was shot tonight was just breathtaking. Seriously, my kudos to the director, the effortless changing between Kurt and Rachel was just gorgeous and brilliant. Then there was the simple staging of the performances. It was just their voices that made it count. Overall:
“Hung Up” sung by Tina Cohen-Chang: Now THIS WAS AWESOME! Why didn’t we get this out of Tina in earlier seasons? I’m kind of mad we didn’t. This wasn’t a performance. No this was a production. Everything was perfect from the dancing to the singing to how it was shot. It was minutes of diva ecstasy. Tina has finally put her money where her mouth is and shown her worth as a New Directions diva. I just wish we saw this earlier!!!!
“Girl on Fire” sung by Santana Lopez: When I first heard this song, I immediately thought “Santana needs to sing this song”. Apparently my thoughts are broadcasting on a psychic wavelength. This was just perfection vocally. Naya Rivera’s smooth, raspy, smokey voice was created to sing this song. Also how it was shot from her leaving McKinley behind (finally) and showing up in New York was just gorgeous. This is a song you strut to and she damn well better strut.