Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice is many, many things.
The roles of Batman and Superman have never been better cast than they are in this film. It's a curious irony that the strongest thing about this movie is the thing that made the fanboys bitch and whine about during production -- Ben Affleck. He's perfect, as is the under-appreciated Henry Cavill as Superman. In fact, the screen presence of its two main stars was just about the only aspect of this indulgence that I did not loathe. Truly loathe. I don't care what anybody says: you ought to be able to take an eleven year-old to a Superman movie without the imagery being too grotesquely violent, and this thing is too damn brutal and, frankly, too damn ugly. Not to mention that it's joyless in that self-important fashion that's often attributed to comic geek directors, still pissed off that they couldn't get laid in high school.
I wish Zack Snyder would go back to directing loud television commercials and leave storytelling to other hands. His movies (Man of Steel, Watchmen) suck but make money, so we're gonna be force fed his take on a whole myriad of DC Comics movies from here on. He creates an experience tantamount to being trapped in a basement with Quentin Tarentino while he sweats and screams the plot of a graphic novel at you between hits of meth. It's all ugly. Ugly to see, ugly to hear, and even ugly to feel 80% of the time.
Again, the biggest shame is that the stars are perfect -- the heroes, that is. The audience never gets what it really wants, which is to see Jessie Eisenberg receive the hideous, horrible death his character deserves. (That's not a spoiler, everybody knows Lex Luthor isn't going anywhere.) And Amy Adams still comes off as Clark's older sister rather than a love interest.
And about Wonder Woman -- she's going to pop up out of nowhere in this review just like she does in the movie, an expensive afterthought. The concern about bringing Wonder Woman to the screen might have been well-founded: She looks stupid. Utterly ridiculous in combat with the current costume design.
Lastly, as BvS: Dawn of Justice vacillates wildly from overwrought exposition to cynical product launch, it also offers a flavor of brutality that might be in bad taste based on world events. I think we've come to a time when one mightn't be so cavalier about the realistic depiction of terror attacks involving the bombing and killing of civilians in a government building. At least in a freaking, damned movie about comic book heroes. I don't ever need or want to see how Bruce Wayne's parents were killed. Buck-up already, Bruce.
I hated it. Can you tell?
(Loudinni provides movie reviews, typically 500 words or less.)