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New Girl Recap: "Quick Hardening Caulk"

PopWrapped | PopWrapped Author


03/20/2013 8:43 am
New Girl Recap:

Caitlin Swift

Staff Writer

So where we last left let the gang on New Girl CeCe was engaged, Jess and Nick were still in denial about their kiss, and Winston well was just Winston. This episode entitled “Quick Hardening Caulk” makes me giggle like a 7th grader. But I think that’s the point, or I mean I’m hoping that’s the point… But moving on…


Schmidt, Winston, and Jess are all hanging at the bar and Nick presents them with a check. Shocked that they actually have to pay we learn that Nick has decided that he wants to become more responsible. He actually does his laundry and wants to iron too. Shockingly Nick’s new found ambition is a turn on for Jess and she finally admits to Cece that she wants him (yessssss).

However, Nick’s new found ambition didn’t just materialize overnight. He confides in Schmidt and Winston that he is trying to impress his new boss Shane. SHOCKER Shane is a chick, who he has already tapped. She also eerily resembles that stripper (Olivia Munn) he was banging a few episodes ago… Schmidt has taken to drinking Midori or what he calls Melon Balls to ease the pain of CeCe’s engagement. To cheer him up Winston takes him to the aquarium, which is both a comedic blessing and a curse for the roommates.

Schmidt falls in love with a fish. A California Lion fish to be exact. After being told it’s endangered and protected he has now made it his goal to procure this fish. Winston attempts to help him out by getting him a clown fish to which Schmidt replies “I don’t want some janky fresh water bitch fish, Winston. I want a Lion Fish.” Oh Schmidt I love you! But Winston hits the nail on the head telling Schmidt that he’s using the fish to replace CeCe. Being the good friend that he is, he agrees to help Schmidt get his fish.

While the quest for the Lion Fish is going down Nick roped Jess into taking him to the Hardware store. He decided to have a guy’s night at the bar and wants to hand a punching bag. Of course his shopping list is laden with sexual innuendos: nut wrench, lube for drill shaft, and… Quick Hardening Caulk. All worked up Jess goes to cool off (literally) and Nick calls her over to see his big pipe. One thing leads to another and she gets clonked by a 2X4. Poor girl.

All hopped up on pain killers Nick makes her soup and watches over her. She also admits to him that she wants to have sex with him. “You are a beautiful white man Nick Miller” ahhh drug induced confessions my favorite! But since these two can’t get it together it’s just an awkward encounter all around. Nick ends up bruised, burned (no really he put his hand in the hot soup), and confused. Now Nick is in a pickle. He wants Jess, but he needs to figure out how to end things with Shane without Jess finding out. This is just a recipe for trouble.

Schmidt and Winston go Lion Fish hunting and it ends with Schmidt getting stung by a jelly fish in his cheek. He pleads with Winston to pee on his face. Instead they opt for an ambulance ride and the urine of a paramedic. CeCe comes to the rescue with a Lion Fish. The perks of being a model is you have access to black market fish dealers. Winston tells CeCe she needs to give Schmidt some space, and with that she leaves. When he awakes Schmidt realizes what Winston had said earlier. It’s not about the fish, it’s about CeCe. He then attempts to flush the Lion Fish down the toilet so it can be free back in the ocean… Winston stops him and they have a proper send off, however when Schmidt goes to throw him back into the ocean he ends up on the beach. Poor fish.

Jess with no recollection of anything decides to crash guy’s night. Nick’s idea looks like a genius one at first glance, however it’s bumping only because guys drink for free. Which really means they aren’t even breaking even. Shane walks by and smacks Nick’s ass and it all starts to unravel. Nick just can’t get his shit together and it makes me so mad!

Trying to make right Nick goes home to talk to Jess. Like the typical female she is drowning her sorrows in some ice cream (I mean that’s what I do. No really. I do). In typical Nick/Jess fashion it is an argument. An argument that leads to sex…. Just kidding they were trying, but it lead to the destruction of the aquarium and some more yelling.

So are Nick and Jess an item? And how is Schmidt going to take his aquarium being smashed to bits?! What did you think of Nick and Jess finally admitting their feelings? (COMING SOON!) (COMING SOON!) 

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