Nintendo just confirmed something that goes against the very foundation of our understanding of the universe.
Mario is not a plumber.
That's right. The lovable Italian in the blue overalls and red shirt is not, in fact, a plumber. He will not be coming to your castles to fix your toilets. He knows how, he just won't do it.
It's not his job.
The official Japanese website for the gaming company "has quietly changed the biograpy" of the iconic character.
Mario is now “all around sporty, whether it’s tennis or baseball, soccer or car racing, [Mario] does everything cool. As a matter of fact, he also seems to have worked as a plumber a long time ago…”
So wait...he was a plumber, but now he's not? Did he quit? Was he fired? We always thought he was a contractor, going around the kingdom and unclogging toilets.
And saving kidnapped princesses.
Shigeru Miyamoto, creator of Mario and his backstory, talked to USA Today in 2010 to give fans a better idea of what makes this princess-saving not-plumber tick: “With Donkey Kong, we have this gorilla who grabs this gal and runs away with her and you have to go chase the gorilla down to save the lady. And the game’s stage was a construction site, so we made him into basically a carpenter. …. With (1983’s) Mario Bros., we brought in Luigi and a lot of the game was played underground so we made him to fit that setting and, we decided he could be a plumber.”
Even with his Mary Poppins bag of tricks and professions, it's a little surprising to find out that Mario is not the man we thought he was.
What's next, Princess Peach isn't a real princess? Link isn't really from Hyrule?
Is everything a lie?