If you, like me, are borderline obsessed with Rupaul’s Drag Race, then you probably spent last Friday night with your eyes glued to the TV as tightly as Violet Chachki’s lace front. The cast of All-Stars Season 3 was finally announced, and while some people would argue it’s way too soon for another all-stars season, I am not one of those people.
So without further ado, let’s break down the returning queens, by order of likelihood to succeed—because, as the great Alyssa Edwards once said, it’s not personal, it’s drag.
RuPaul’s Newest All-Stars: Ranking The Returning Queens
9. Morgan McMichaels (Season 2)
This old school queen is back to teach the children, yes, but does she have what it takes to win it all? Maybe. Part of me would love to see this most seasoned All-Star make it to the end, but a much bigger part of me just doesn’t think she will. Having said that, I am definitely looking forward to seeing how this queen has evolved since she first walked the runway way back in Season 2. Check out this classic lip sync, against the late Sahara Davenport:
8. Aja (Season 9)
She’s perfect, she’s beautiful, she looks like Linda Evangelista—oops, that’s Valentina. Here’s the thing, I get why they brought Aja back—if Season 9 had a villain, she was probably it, and hey, everyone loves a redemption arc—but at the same time, I’m pretty bitter that she took what I think should have been Trinity Taylor’s spot. That said, Aja has already shown vast improvement since her season, so I’m curious to see what she brings to the All-Star table, but I don’t think she’ll take it all the way. Still, we’ll always have Aja to thank for this piece of parodic genius:
7. Thorgy Thor (Season 8)
Hey there, Thorgy girl! I’ll be honest, I’ve always thought this Brooklyn queen was underrated. She’s intelligent, creative, artsy—not unlike our reigning Queen Sasha Velour—and she should’ve gone further during her season. Or at the very least, she should have beaten Derrick Barry, can we all agree on that? I’m most excited to see what looks this queen brings to the runway, but I don’t see her taking the crown. Still, the other queens better watch out when it comes to acting challenges, because, well, you’ll see:
6. Shangela (Seasons 2 and 3)
Yes, she’s back, so halleloo, I guess, but truthfully, if we had to have a queen come back for a third time, I would have much preferred Jujubee, Latrice Royale, Alyssa Edwards, Tatianna, Katya, or Mrs. Kasha Davis. Actually, the list of queens I would rather see is pretty long—but I will say, Shangela has definitely improved since her first appearance, and I think her success rate on All-Stars 3 could go either way. So I’ll put her somewhere in the middle-ish. And one thing I have to hand to her, Shangela blessed us with probably the most iconic “Untucked” monologue—yes, monologue—of all time, and because it’s so legendary, let’s revisit it together, shall we, because Shangela is what? Sickening:
5. Milk (Season 6)
Listen. Milk is edgy. Milk is controversial. Milk is bold. Milk is hot out of drag—I get it. A part of me wonders if this queen was just a little too ahead of her time. The beard, the baby bump, the boy drag. It was a lot. But now, under the reign of Sasha Velour where different is beautiful, maybe Milk will get the appreciation she deserves. After all, the beard did inspire a bearded runway challenge the very next season. In fact, let’s stop talking about it and just cut to the beard footage:
4. Kennedy Davenport (Season 7)
*RuPaul voice* Newark, Laguardia, Kennedy. Full disclaimer: I’m putting Kennedy so close to the top, not because I think she’ll be the best, but because if she ever lands on the bottom, she will murder that lip sync. Destroy it, slay it, roast it, flambé it, serve it up with fries. I ran hot or cold with this queen during her season—on the one hand, her Little Richard during Snatch Game was everything, but on the other, her Bitter Old Lady alliance with Ginger Minj often painted her as more than a little shady. Regardless, her lip sync against Katya will go down in drag herstory as one of the best (and worst, because it sent Katya home—during a frickin’ Hello Kitty runway, no less, and yes, I am still bitter). Don’t believe me? Watch it here:
3. Chi Chi Devayne (Season 8)
Nothing would give me greater happiness than seeing this queen make it to the Top 3. In her season, Chi Chi was the ultimate underdog turned true contender, and watching her grow into the queen she is today has been inspiring. She showed us that, hey, you don’t need to be rich to be fabulous, making it to the final four with her “cheap drag” alone. Of course, nowadays her look is a bit more refined—okay, a lot more—but Chi Chi still remains true to herself. And not unlike Kennedy Davenport, I envision her making it very far by virtue of her performance skills alone. Her lip sync to “And I Am Telling You” against Thorgy Thor is one that still honestly gives me goosebumps every time I watch it, broken bead necklace and all. But because a high quality video of that lip sync doesn’t appear to exist (what gives, YouTubers?), this version will have to do, and honestly, it’s just as incredible:
2. Trixie Mattel (Season 7)
Y’know, I’ll be honest. I didn’t love Trixie in her original season. Or maybe, I wanted to love her more than I actually did. I didn’t understand her drag, why she painted her face so cartoonishly, and worse, I didn’t care to understand it. Since her elimination (make that two eliminations), however, Trixie has grown tremendously, in confidence and in popularity, and co-hosting the YouTube series “UnHhhh” with forever fan favorite Katya Zamolodchikova doesn’t hurt. She’s also one of those queens that fans have been demanding justice for since her season, so I definitely see her as a top contender. And really, after watching one of her makeup tutorials, I certainly have a new respect for her skill as an artist, because damn. Also, not for nothing, but this queen is a fighter: she worked that conjoined twin runway with Pearl, so much so that the judges brought her back to compete after she’d already been eliminated. And just because it’s one of my favorite runways, watch it here:
1. BenDeLaCreme (Season 6)
Alright, you guys, confession time. When this queen was announced as an All-Star, I full on screamed. I love this queen, and maybe I’m thinking with my heart here instead of my head, but I am 100% rooting for DeLa to snatch that crown. Of the entire list, she’s easily the most well-rounded queen. She’s beautiful, she’s funny, she’s kind, she’s creative—in short, she’s got charisma, uniqueness, nerve, and talent to spare. She won Miss Congeniality in her season, which was lovely, but at the same time, she lost her top four spot to Darienne Lake. Darienne Lake. The greatest injustice I have ever seen, possibly on any reality show ever. Yes, BenDeLa deserved better, and if she hadn’t landed in the season that happened to feature greatest winner of all-time Bianca Del Rio, I think she could’ve—nay, should’ve—won the whole thing. BenDeLa’s time is now, folks, mark my words. And watch Season 6’s Snatch Game, because DeLa’s Maggie Smith is the best thing you could hope to watch all day. “Citrus! Can you imagine such a thing!”
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