Stephen Colbert’s monologue was about seamen, sex parties, and Donald Trump, of course.
The comedian opened his show with a few wisecracks about Fat Leonard “plying officers of the Seventh fleet with cigars, liquor, pricey wristwatches, concert tickets, vacations, and prostitutes, [so] these officers threw business to GDMA, which then overbilled the U.S. government to the tune of several tens of millions of dollars.”
Just another day in the office, right?
The real story was about Donald Trump defeating ISIS while riding a lion.
Colbert directed a skit in which the president “rode a lion into battle and defeated ISIS with his bare, big, huge hands.” The host of The Late Show was obviously poking fun at the commander in chief’s ego.
Apparently, the president was so angry about two justices blocking his travel ban that “White House officials traveling with him tried to cheer the president up by showing him remarks that Harvard University Law professor Alan Dershowitz made on Greta Susteren’s MSNBC, arguing that the Supreme Court would never uphold the court’s ruling.”
Colbert described Trump’s scene like that of a five-year-old’s tantrum. However, instead of playing the Frozen DVD, officials are coddling the president with positive news.
The host chimed in with his own version of comfort by showing the fake news report of Trump, ISIS, and the lion. He wanted to pacify “the big, angry man with the launch codes” before Trump took his outbursts to another level.
All jokes aside, Colbert is just as scared as any other American.
He tells John Oliver, a colleague, not to mention the host of Last Week Tonight, “Everybody tried to stop Trump. And they didn’t. That’s what scares me.”
Even though the country is grappling with fear and uncertainty, the United States has always persevered.
But the nation needs comedic relief now more than ever. Sometimes, laughter really is the best medicine, and Colbert is just who the doctor ordered.