Welcome to Elimination Night on The Voice. Bec here! I’ll be on vacation next week so the Unholy Trinity will be a Terrible Twosome. So I’m covering the elimination night.
My prediction for tonight? I think Kris, Holly or Josiah will go home.
“Over You” sung by Blake Shelton and Miranda Lambert: In honor of the victims of the Oklahoma Tornado, Blake and Miranda perform her best known song. It’s heartbreaking. Mainly because of the look on Blake’s face. In order to help the victims of the Oklahoma Tornado please donate to the Red Cross or a relevant disaster relief agency of your choice.
Well…that was mood whiplash. Seriously you should have done a commercial there guys.
“I’ll Stand By You” sung by Team Shakira: Is this uplifting music night? I mean don’t get me wrong I love the song. Oh Erika Rivera has just informed me that tonight’s episode is a tribute to the Oklahoma victims. I totally got you. Anyway it was really really good.
Vin Disel and Michelle Rodriguez! Hello! What a totally odd and weird coincidence that YOU TWO would be happen to be here! This is…weird but awesome. But Vin please take off your sunglasses? Were you crying? Someone give Vin Disel a hug. He also shouts out Usher who is on the soundtrack. This is so hilariously awkward. He invites everyone to the premiere after. It’s like Oprah giving out cars except it’s Vin Disel and tickets to his movie premiere.
Adam is confident that his ladies will stay around because they are “strong independent woman”. Snap your fingers in a Z formation. Usher stop being so adorable. Shakira says she is like a lioness and some guy goes “WHOA”! She also asserts Sasha was the performance of the night. Usher is nervous that he’ll lose both of his team members and calls him his children in a way. Usher please. America LOVES Michelle Chamuel. Blake says his bowels are shaking with the nerves he is feeling.
Voice Confessional! Sheryl wants to be a professional motorcross racer. Danielle Bradbery wants to do hair and makeup for Blake. Cee-Lo wants to be a male exotic dancer with Usher doing hip thrusts. Pharrell wants to own a chocolate factory. Judith thinks Adam would make a great secret agent. Michelle wants to be a puppeteer complete with a sock puppet!Michelle and sock puppet!Usher. God damn that’s awesome and hilarious. The Voice coaches should be in a circus together. It ends with Shakira’s legs behind her head. (Don’t go to the dirty place.)
SAVED: Danielle Bradbery (Team Blake) and Judith Hill (Team Adam)
Not a huge surprise. Although really America? Judith leaves me…cold. Danielle is cute though. I wouldn’t be surprised if she made Top Four at least.
“Mountain Music” sung by Team Blake: The harmonizing here is actually really good. Danielle is the only good part of this song. Everyone is kind of bland. It’s clear that Blake wants to focus on Danielle. Holly is honestly, according to my friend, the poor man’s Danielle and I’m inclined to agree. I’m just so bored by the other two acts on Team Blake. Keep Danielle at least she is cute and perky. It was alright. It didn’t suck but I’m just…exhausted by all the country.
I love Michelle and Josiah and their HUGS! So adorable!
SAVED: Michelle Chamuel (Team Usher) and Sasha Allen (Team Shakira)
Again these were not huge surprises. I am ALWAYS happy to see my girl Michelle Chamuel stay another week because she is awesome. Why? Michelle Chamuel is my queen. Sasha Allen is a better version of Judith Hill.
“The Look Of Love” sung by Team Usher: This is so fucking sexy. I am calling it: Team Usher’s Song That Made Some Babies From The Sheer Sexiness Of It. I love how jazzy and mellow it is. It’s intimate and fantastic! Fuck this is so sexy. This song is a song you get pregnant to. I also love how they are all dressed in match blazers. Usher with his jacket over the shoulder and I am dead. DEAD. This is so…so…so sexy. I am dead. Josiah/Usher/Michelle are my platonic best friend OTP. It was awesome. This was awesome. BEST GROUP PERFORMANCE PERIOD!
Why? Why do you need to harsh my buzz with this?
SAVED: Sarah Simmons (Team Adam)
Ugh. See my complaints from last night’s recap.
“I’ve Got the Music In Me” sung by Team Adam: OhmyGod. They have Judith in normal clothes. Well…this explains the dresses. Listening to this makes me miss Nicholas David from last season. He would have rocked this. I mean it’s not bad. I just prefer the original. It doesn’t piss me off but… At times they go really soft? I don’t know what to do with that! Amber is doing a great job though. Also Sarah what the hell is in your hair? Does wardrobe love fucking with Team Adam? Only Amber looks good the majority of the time. Judith does look a million times better than last night. Still such a letdown after Team Usher’s performance.
COME ON AMERICA! SEND HOLLY AND KRIS HOME!
OHMYGOD CARSON SHUT THE HELL UP!
SAVED: Holly Tucker (Team Blake)
I hate to say it but I think it was because of the tragedy that just happened. Carson got my hopes up. People agree with me though.
I’m going to say donate to the Red Cross to make me feel like less of a horrible person for saying that.
COME ON AMERICA! AMBER AND JOSIAH! SAVE THEM!
SAVED: Amber Carrington (Team Adam) and The Swon Brothers (Team Blake)
You disappoint me, women and gay men of America. You truly do.
Josiah I will miss you.