The wait is over, my Truebies! Season six of True Blood is among us, fangbangers, and I for one am dying to find out how this show is going to recover from the disaster that was last season. No offense to anyone that might have like last season, but it was a train wreck of too many convoluted plotlines. For those who missed out on last season, Bill Compton merged with the original vampire Lilith and became Bilith.
Sookie got herself involved with fairy craziness, Jason wants to find out who killed his parents, Lafayette embraced his medium ways, Terri almost got caught in his past, and Eric lost and gained family. As per tradition, the premiere episode will pick up exactly where the last left off so without much further ado, let’s release our fangs and dig right in!
Eric and Sookie start the episode hauling ass as they have Bilith after them. They get themselves caught in the elevator as Bilith goes on a killing spree. Jason, Jessica, Pam, Tara and Eric’s sister Nora make their escape as the building blows up, with the group thinking that Sookie and Eric bit the big one in it. They get the surprise of a lifetime when Eric pulls up in a van to make their getaway. The group then sees Bilith makes himself known to the group as a survivor as they get away.
As for Sam, Luna and Luna’s daughter make their getaway at the same time, Luna succumbs to her wounds and asks Sam to watch over her little one. Sam promises to do this, and Luna dies in his arms.
While Sookie and the gang drive away, the humans declare war on the vamps again, with Jason being totally thrilled with it as the rest of the group tells him to shut up. Pam is confused about Nora’s presence and has an argument with Eric about it when he decides to pull over to talk to Nora. He tells Pam to have his back or to back away. Pam breaks down at the beach with Tara by her side to comfort her (just love these two!).
Jessica and Sookie have words as well as Eric and Nora discuss taking out Bill. Jessica gets distraught and asks Sookie if she still love Bill. Sookie says yes but that they have to let him as he is gone now. Nora, on the other hand, wants to talk to Jason about Warlow, which Eric scoffs at as he thinks Jason is an idiot and has never read a book in his life (Jason is my village idiot, and I love him for it). Jason tells Nora what he knows about Warlow (which isn’t much), and Nora tells all that Warlow was Lilith’s progeny. Jason then threatens to kill Nora as the group gets back together, with Eric threatening to take Jason out. Sookie steps in, and Jason declares her dead to him as she always sticks up for the vamps (cue funny run from Jason).
Jessica, on the other hand gets summoned by Bilith and is unable to stop herself from going. Eric tries but Jessica starts to spew blood and writhes in pain on the ground. Eric finally relents and lets her go with Sookie as her escort while he and Nora take off. Pam tries to stop Eric, with he saying “Get out of my way, Pam. How many times do I have to tell you?” Ouch…that burns!
Back in werewolf land, the pack is having a feast from the fallen packmaster that Alcide killed in the previous season. They are seriously chowing down on his body and as a vegan, I’m nauseous. But I digress. Alcide also takes a bite as part of the ritual and officially becomes the new pack master. Another female wolf offers herself to him and the pack gets naked and takes off in a run (I sense some sex coming up!).
As for Andy and his fairy babies, Arlene reads him the riot act as she is tired of him not taking care of them. Andy tells her that he’s scared shitless, which Arlene tells him that it’s normal to feel that way. She gets him in gear and soon he’s in papa mode with the halflings.
Back to shifter problems, Sam brings Luna’s daughter to his bar where he runs into Lafayette with a gun, apparently holding down the fort for Sam. Lafayette surmises that Sam’s wearing Luna’s blood and tells him that he knows what went down as it is all over the news. Sam begs Lafayette to forget that he saw Luna’s daughter and him at the bar, which Lafayette agrees to.
Jason, in the meantime, gets picked up by some weird old dude (played by Rutger Hauer). Jason and the old guy exchange small talk about their lives, with the old guy being quite interested in Jason’s life. Can you say watch you back, son?!
Jessica andSookie finally arrive at Bill’s house. Sookie arms herself just in case. Sookie finds Bill, with the latter saying that all he wants to do is talk. He doesn’t get the chance as Nora and Eric arrive and attack him. Bill almost kills Eric when Sookie stakes him (guess she loves Eric more!). The stake doesn’t work on him though! What the hell?!
Bill tells them that he still is Bill but something more. Sookie wants him to leave Bon Temps and let them go but Jessica turns on her and tells her that they need to leave. Jessica wants to stay with Bill and threatens Sookie’s life. Eric is not having it and all the fangs pop out. Bill orders them all to leave, which Eric gladly does, taking Sookie and Nora with him.
The human governor of LA decides that he wants to get into business with the makers of True Blood. He wants to be a silent partner. The governor wants the vamps to stay and get under control and knows that the way to do that is to give them True Blood to drink from. Me thinks there is another motive but we shall see…
Back to Alcide, he finishes his run and starts to make out with the female were that offered herself up to him earlier. His main squeeze shows up but instead of being PO’d, she really gets the party started three-way style! TOLD YA! It isn’t a TrueBlood episode without some hella raunchy sex! Hide yo’ wife, hide yo’ kids! It’s gonna get HAWT!
Pam and Tara, on the other hand, have return to my favorite haunt, Fangtasia, with Tara wondering why Pam still listens to Eric when he released her last season (I still get teary eyed thinking about that scene). Tara and Pam get into it, with Tara noting that Pam still has a thing for Eric and will never give their relationship a chance. Pam smirks and tells Tara that they never had a shot before a swat team shows up and threatens the pair of them. Tara leaps to Pam’s defense and gets put down!
Eric and Sookie, at the same time, are making their way from Bilith’s house. Eric offers to take Sookie away but she decides there’s no point as Bill will always be able to track her down. She notes that her life has changed so much, with Eric mentioning that he was surprised that she staked Bill for him. To Eric, Sookie will always be the girl in the white dress that walked into his bar (awww….). Eric gives Sookie back the deed to her house and she rescinds his invite. She says she wants to be that girl he mentioned again.
Nora notices Eric’s demeanor at Sookie’s house and questions their relationship. Eric tells her to stay away from Sookie when Nora suggests that they use her. Nora comments that Sookie is Eric’s weakness to which he warns her to knock it off before taking off.
Back at Chez Bellefleur, Andy is awoken by his fairy babies. Only they aren’t babies anymore! They are Pre-K age! THE HELL! Looks like he’s going to have his hands full.
Bill and Jessica have a nice little exchange back at his house. Bill learns that he has telekinesis and is scared. Bill needs Jessica to figure things out as he’s so confused as well. Bill thinks he’s going mad or that he will if he doesn’t have someone like Jessica to keep him from letting the power consume him. I’ve always loved their relationship but this cannot be good…
Jason is still talking to the weird old guy and mentions his parents become somewhat racist and evil with their orders. Jason thinks Sookie is going to haul him off to the funny farm when the weird old guy tells him that there is nothing Jason can do to keep Warlow from Sookie. The light bulb finally goes off in Jason’s head as he doesn’t remember telling the old geezer his sister’s name. The weird old guy cackles and tells Jason that he is Warlow and takes off, not before crashing the car with Jason still in it!
Bill, back at home, starts having pains as he recalls some of Lilith’s past events. He finds her in his study and asks who she is when she and three others enter him! Cue the end of the episode.
So there you have it, Truebies! Looks like the writers got their shit together and gave us a promising start to this season! So many things have been set in motion! Guess we all better buckle up! Things just got serious!
Best quotes from the episode!
"Who the fuck is Mary Poppins?"- Pam asking about Nora
“I hate the beach. Fish piss and shit in the water and sand gets in your coochie.” Pam
"Who the fuck is Warlow?"- Eric.
"When you stick Mr. Happy inside of someone’s hooha without a raincoat, babies happen!"- Arlene sharing a life lesson that we all need.
"That was the sickest shit I’ve seen on TV and I watch Dance Moms." – Lafayette about Luna and Sam’s stunt.
"Wrong place at the wrong fucking time ought to be my middle fucking name" –Lafayette, killing it again.
"I’m your number one bitch. Don’t you forget it."- Alcide’s girl before the threesome!
"To me, you’ll always be that girl in the white dress who walked into my bar…" – Eric, once again, killing me with his love for Sookie….So many feels!