Hello Gleeks! Now I know for some of you Glee is your guilty pleasure. It’s mine as well. My others? I have a numerous amount of them. But the best are horrible pop songs, true crime shows and Will Schuester’s rapping.
So grab your boyfriend pillow and cue up an episode of Small Wonder because we’re recapping the episode of the guiltiest pleasures of Glee.
Blam Wham!: Since Mister Schue is sick this week (go Matthew Morrison for still being paid without showing up for work). It’s up to Blaine and Sam to run the glee club. (Also to essentially prove that they kind of don’t need teachers.) And this week they decide to do “guilty pleasures” because Sam confessed to Blaine about being a macaroni art savant and Blaine confessed back to liking Wham! So after an adorkable, colorful eighties style musical number with a ton of neon “Guilty Pleasures” week is on!
Kitty Is Trying to Be a Good Person: Meanwhile, in our favorite internet talk show with melted cheese, Brittany has convinced recovering uber-bitch Kitty to come onto the show. I’m kind of liking recovering Kitty. She’s bitchy and sassy without you know trying to give people eating disorders or being mildly racist. They confessed to liking Bring It On movies (what no musical?) and Kitty confesses a secret to Brittany quietly without saying anything to the audience. Her guiltiest pleasure turns out to be Spice Girls leading to an adorable New Directions girl freak out in the hallway. Along with an epic girl group number in the choir room which makes me squee. It was nice seeing Kitty trying to be a good person this episode. It shows real character growth. Puck’s magic penis has clearly exorcised the evil out of her.
Bruce the Boyfriend Pillow: Golden Girls is a way of life. But yeah Kurt loves them and Designing Women and The Facts of Life and practically all of the stuff that used to be on TVLand’s roster. He also works out to Richard Simmons and has a boyfriend pillow named Bruce. I can see why he doesn’t want Santana Lopez to know about this. I also really want a boyfriend pillow. Anyways Santana and Rachel decide to do the put Kurt’s hand in warm water to make him pee thing (really?) and find out about Bruce. Kurt, in order to make them both keep quiet, buys them a boyfriend and girlfriend pillow respectively. Which Kurt and Santana proceed to cuddle with/use as a neck pillow the rest of the episode.
Sam the Fanilow: Ehhh in one of the more offensive-ish scenes of the night, Sam “comes out of the closet” as a Manilow fan. Yeah. I kind of cringed at this sequence because it was awkward and not funny. Coming out is a very hard and difficult experience. This scene made light of it in an uncomfortable way. Also it turns out all the New Directions guys are Fanilows. Uhhh…I could buy one or two but not all of them. Also is Sam growing his hair back out? I was flashbacking to season two watching him.
People Keeping Secrets from Rachel: So apparently no one has told Rachel about Brody being a gigolo/hooker/manwhore. Yeah. Guys you needed to tell her that. Rachel keeps reminding us that she is a grown ass woman so treat her like one? I don’t like her side here but yeah she’s a grown ass woman. She also deserves to know about Brody’s “career” because she’s been sleeping with him. So she needs to get tested for STDs and shit like that too because I don’t care how condom conscientious a hooker is, you should still get tested. However, Santana finally decides to tell Rachel the truth (God, things have gotten better since you arrived, Santana). Rachel understandably freaks out over this bit of news. She confronts Brody by copying a lot of movies where someone finds out their partner is a hooker and tries to pay him. They ultimately break up. And everyone pretty much shrugs with indifference. Rachel decides to focus on herself (again) so let’s hope this sticks? Because I am sick of girls on this show having to be defined by a man.
BLAM-The Secrets: Blaine still has a crush on Sam. However, he doesn’t want it to ruin their friendship. Still he sings a very touching song at the piano to Sam (though he says it’s to Kurt). Sam seems to realize that Blaine is crushing on him. He does confront Blaine in the nicest way possible. They pretty much establish their bromance but I die a little inside because I was at least hoping for a Blam kiss. (Don’t judge me.)
Jake Likes WHAT?!: A character who we will all judge on this show is Jake Puckerman for enjoying some of Chris Brown’s music. The girls rightfully confront him on it. Jake, in turn, does bring up some good points about separating the artist from the music because they have had to do it in the past in the club with several artists (Michael Jackson, Britney Spears, Whitney Houston to name a few). However, Chris Brown is still Chris Brown, and he’s a giant asshole. Still, Tina and Brittany you two did LAUGH at a Chris Brown beating up Rhianna joke last year so you’re not absolved from guilt. He doesn’t let us separate his music from himself because of well being himself. Chris Brown just needs to go far, far away. Marley stands by her convictions on this issue because she is pissed he is even considering it. However, he doesn’t do a Chris Brown song. Thank God. He does Bobby Brown, which isn’t horrible but yeah…wow. However, I can believe his claim of ignorance because for the most part Jake doesn’t seem like a guy who would look up pop culture surrounding Whitney and Bobby. So he and Marley have a talk like real couples are supposed to do. Ultimately they decide to love each other despite musical preferences.
Favorite Moments/Random Thoughts
So this is kind of like Sam showing Blaine he’s etchings right?
HA! I love you Sam for bringing that up.
DARREN’S NATURAL CURLS!!!!
OhmyGod this episode is going to be the best most cheestastic thing ever.
Well Kitty did mention she’s changing.
FONDUE FOR TWO!
Lord Tubbington loves Scientology.
Tina has crazy eyes.
OhmyGod Chris Colfer dressed as Richard Simmons.
Bruce the Boyfriend Arm. Want one? Buy it here!
Spice Girls hallway freakout!
Santana trying to be sweet and caring is very sweet.
Oh poor Kurt and them finding out about Bruce.
That ruffle jacket is gold. I’m dying of laughter.
You know she’s not Mercedes right, Brittany? It’s a little racist that you can’t distinguish between Unique and Mercedes.
READ HIM TO THE FLOOR MARLEY!! Jake I thought you were cool! Chris Brown?!
You wore those tiny little Wham! shorts well, Sam Evans.
I think it’s a bad idea to do Chris Brown because he’s an epic douche but Jake does make a good case.
Aww, Kurt got her a girlfriend pillow!
Yeah, you guys should have told Rachel sooner.
Darren, you are insanely talented, and I love you performed this live. You need to perform all songs live.
Awww, it’s so totally about Sam. BLAM baby!
Hah! Kitty stopping Tina from being an evil bitch! She has changed!
Ahhh! Marley looks so pretty as Posh Spice!!!!!
All the girls are working it. But I think my faves are Marley and Kitty.
The accent! Does Jake ask you to do it, Marley?
OHMYGOD JAKE’S DANCING IS THE BEST THING I’VE EVER SEEN SINCE MIKE CHANG HAS BEEN ON THE SHOW!!! IT GIVES ME LIIIIFFFFFEEEE!
Really, Jake? You didn’t know about Bobby Brown? Well, I guess I can buy it.
Awww. Jarley is adorable.
Bye, Brody! It was nice having you as eye candy!
Why aren’t you dancing in dance class, Rachel?
Where the hell are they? Are they at McKinley? What the hell?!
Oh, Sam Evans. Why aren’t you real? Also, Darren’s ass continues to look amazing in those Cheerio pants.
Really, Santana? I thought you would have loved the Facts of Life. I call bullshit on Santana Lopez never seeing this show!
I love the Kurt-Santana-Rachel roommate dynamic.
How good is the soundproofing in this loft?
The costumes are amaaaaazing on the McKinley part.
We should have had this ending sequence for a lot more episodes.
“Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” sung by Blaine Anderson and Sam Evans: Darren Criss and Chord Overstreet always sound really good together. So I was thrilled to get another duet of this two. This song is one of my guilty pleasures. I really love how much energy was put into it. The costuming was hilarious. The hair was hilarious. All that blacklight stuff was fun to watch. I loved how it felt like an 80’s musical video with the cheesy editing. It was definitely a great tone setter for the episode.
“Copacabana” sung by Sam Evans: I was hoping for “Mandy” but that’s probably my love of Angel talking. Actually, Sam was supposed to sing Taylor Swift originally. I hope he does one. However, this whole song was really good and solid. Chord Overstreet is a great performer when he gets a chance to shine. From his ruffled jacket to his movements to his facial expressions, he definitely told a story through his performance. And it was really funny, which is what guilty pleasures are all about.
“Against All Odds (Take a Look At Me Now)” sung by Blaine Anderson: Darren Criss did this live. It just makes this performance even more impressive. Despite my issues with Blaine (which has to do with the writing of his character), Darren Criss is definitely a natural born performer. When he gets a live number he utterly sells it with every feeling in his body. He knows how to keep your eyes on him with just a piano and his voice. It was absolutely gorgeous to watch.
“Wannabe” sung by New Directions Girls: Oh this took me back to the 90’s. Listening to Spice Girls in my room and dancing around pretending I was Baby Spice. I really kind of want to watch Spice World right now. The song was good. The ladies of New Directions had a ton of energy. Some vocals in the song were a bit weaker than others especially up against the powerhouse voices of Alex Newell and Melissa Benoist. But they were all solidly great in their own ways. I can’t single out a person for not utterly embodying the cheese of the song. I just can’t.
“My Prerogative” sung by Jake Puckerman: I never really listened to any of Bobby Brown’s stuff before. His stuff isn’t really my genre of music. However, I will say that I adored Jacob Artist’s performance of it. His vocals are smooth as butter. He has a lot of awesome swagger and charisma. Also dude Artist’s dance moves. OhmyGod, can we talk about those dance moves? I kind of want to talk about those dance moves. THEY WERE AMAZING!! We have the heir apparent to Mike Chang! Show more of that, guys! It was just awesome that it deserves it’s own grade. Dancing:
“Creep” sung by Rachel Berry and Brody Weston: Yaaay another Brochel duet. And it’s my favorite angsty alternative rock song of all time. Is it really a guilty pleasure? It’s my question right now. Okay, this number was gorgeously shot. It showed disconnect and did a lot of fun stuff with camera angles and lighting that I loved. The singing? Well, bless Dean Geyer; it improved for him over the last couple Brochel duets. He must have wanted to go out with a bang. I like this much more than “How to Be a Heartbreaker”. Lea Michele? I don’t hate her or her voice. Her voice is gorgeous. But the problem with singing as much as she has over the course of the show is that you know which genres she does better in. You know the genres that fit her voice more. Alternative rock? It’s not one of them. Every time she does an alternative song I have to cringe a little bit. Alternative rock is meant to be dirty and grungy and not perfect. Lea Michele’s voice is too perfect for this genre. So it doesn’t sell as much.
A+for the technical stuff though)
“Mamma Mia” sung by NYC and McKinley: This is how every episode should end. It was hilarious. I still don’t understand the slow start stuff. But the costumes and the energy that kicked in was awesome. I love both sides in this.