Abbie Sedgeman
Staff Writer
‘What comes around, goes around’ is clichéd phrase that fits perfectly to a neighbourhood in Florida. A couple wrote to Dear Abby, distraught that they were being excluded from the neighbourhood, when they were just trying to make friends.
It wasn’t that simple though. The couple in question had previously excluded two gay couples from their social gathering, despite them being “nice enough;” hosting a party for their heterosexual neighbours.
This is the letter sent, and the advice given by Abby (Jeanne Phillips):
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I relocated to Florida a little over a year ago and were quickly welcomed into our new neighbors’ social whirl. Two couples in the neighborhood are gay — one male, one female. While they are nice enough, my husband and I did not include them when it was our turn to host because we do not approve of their lifestyle choices. Since then, we have been excluded from neighborhood gatherings, and someone even suggested that we are bigots!
Abby, we moved here from a conservative community where people were pretty much the same. If people were “different,” they apparently kept it to themselves. While I understand the phrase “when in Rome,” I don’t feel we should have to compromise our values just to win the approval of our neighbors. But really, who is the true bigot here? Would you like to weigh in? — UNHAPPY IN TAMPA
DEAR UNHAPPY: I sure would. The first thing I’d like to say is that regardless of what you were told in your previous community, a person’s sexual orientation isn’t a “lifestyle choice.” Gay people don’t choose to be gay; they are born that way. They can’t change being gay any more than you can change being heterosexual.
I find it interesting that you are unwilling to reciprocate the hospitality of people who welcomed you and opened their homes to you, and yet you complain because you are receiving similar treatment.
From where I sit, you may have chosen the wrong place to live because it appears you would be happier in a less integrated neighborhood surrounded by people who think the way you do. But if you interact only with people like yourselves, you will have missed a chance for growth, which is what you have been offered here. Please don’t blow it.
This is a fair response, although it may come as a shock to the homophobic couple, and it is an opinion that many would share. What do you think of Abby’s response?
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