Episode 3 of Glee starts out well. Blaine is finally stepping out of the shadows, which is where I felt his character has been sitting since he first transferred to McKinley. He’s getting involved, he’s making new friends (though something tells me the people from the Dungeons and Dragons club won’t be making another appearance in Blaine’s life, so perhaps the throwaway montage-characters shouldn’t really be called “friends”), and he’s being generally awesome. Even running for Senior Class President is a step in the right direction for him, even if Brittany doesn’t think so. I’m proud of Blaine. Good for him.

Speaking of great things happening to great people, Kurt’s interview for Vogue.com is a really great thing. But as someone who’s biggest career opportunity directly out of high school was a minimum wage part-time job, I call bullshit. Maybe in bizarre-o Glee universe where everyone sings their feelings and can afford New York school tuition without comment or concern, these kinds of things happen, but in the real world, 18 year-olds from Ohio don’t get internships at Vogue.com. They just don’t. I guess Kurt is just special in a way that literally no one else ever is, ever. Congrats!

My concern for Brittany is growing. I feel like every episode, she’s just getting dumber and dumber. It’s come to the point where I fear an episode about her mental handicap is in order soon, because now not only is she as stupid as a square peg in a round hole, she also can’t even remember she dated Artie? You’re going too far, Ryan Murphy. Too fucking far.

The scene with Kurt and Sarah-Jessica Parker after that staff meeting about leather socks makes me feel kind of like I missed some sort of memo about the episode. They talk about Parker’s character back story as though I’m supposed to know how she got her job and why her life is in hardship. Truthfully, I was just lost and confused about the whole exchange.

As I feared, Kurt’s job at Vogue has become an excuse for Rachel to get a “new look.” I thought I would have a problem with that, but after seeing the way it helped out Kurt in the end, I’m a little more grateful to the writers for it. I dread the day that this show becomes all about Rachel, with Kurt there for convenience. So far, no complaints. And Lea Michele in Rachel’s new digs is hot, hot, hot. Yes, please. I would like to see much more of that.

My emotions in the Kurt/Blaine Skype call scene boiled over so quickly, I barely had time to react to one hurt before another took its place. I first noticed when Kurt was worrying about his video being posted on Vogue.com over all of the other many things that were in for consideration. Blaine, without even thinking about his answer, immediately says that of course they’ll pick Kurt’s video. He says it like it’s his job to automatically agree with Kurt no matter what. But before I could fully process how awful that was, the scene became entirely less subtle. Suddenly, bad things! All Blaine wanted was an opinion on which bowtie to wear, and still he was immediately brushed off because Kurt’s problems are so much more important. No, stop. Please stop. Please don’t do this.

The entire debate was a complete mess. I should have known it would be all downhill from the moment Blaine took off his bow-tie. I could also take a moment to unravel the symbolism of the bow-tie representing Blaine’s decision to separate from Kurt or whatever, but I digress. Point is, everything from Sam’s completely unnecessary Magic Mike display, to Brittany’s alarmingly stupid campaign speech was a total farce. But props for the stoner anarchist. All in all, I think Sue spoke for everyone at McKinley when she said, “Who in god’s name gives a hot, wet, steamy dump about student government?”

So after a lovely duet and New-York-outing montage, Rachel asks Brody to come over so she can make him dinner, which of course results in her nearly setting the apartment on fire. Again, my concern for their living arrangement arises when there was no fire alarm. But perhaps Ryan Murphy just overlooked it, which would surprise absolutely no one. In any case, Rachel and Brody get comfy in the couch-lacking living room (?), where they eat pizza and drink what I can only assume is cider, though it wouldn’t be the first time Glee has condoned underage drinking. Rachel is awkward and brings up Finn. And we find out that Brody lives in opposite world where “hands off” means “shove my tongue down your throat.” Not that I’m complaining. It’s been long overdue, but if no one saw the very obnoxiously obvious knock on the door, (“Oh haha, it’s just Kurt. OH NO IT’S ACTUALLY FINN GASP SHOCK”) coming at that exact moment, then you clearly don’t watch enough Glee. Or TV, for that matter.

So to recap: Kurt is a big jerk to Blaine, Rachel just cheated on Finn (again), and there was some stuff in there about Shue that I couldn’t care less about. And that’s what you missed on Glee!

— Sam Martell

http://www.Facebook.com/PopWrapped

http://www.Twitter.com/PopWrapped

http://www.YouTube.com/PopWrapped (COMING SOON!)

http://www.PopWrapped.com (COMING SOON!)

Instagram: PopWrapped